Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

THE INFLUENCE OF WOMEN.

Corpora magnanimo satis est prostrâsse leoni:
At lupus, et turpes instant morientibus ursi;
Et quemque minor nobilitate fera est.

OVID.

66

Ir is an odd thing for a man that is a bachelor, not merely by profession, but in point of fact, to think of deciding on the kind and quantity of influence which is exercised on the part of females over men. "If the ques tion were reversed," cries a love-sick youth of eighteen, " and a bachelor, instead of writing on the influence of females over males, had to speak of the influence of males over females, his own ugly face or some other natural defect would sufficiently testify, that he had exercised the influence of fear over all the spinsters of his parish; for few men of good report, and tolerable proportions, are allowed to remain in a state of single blessedness."The fit having taken me, however, (by the way, I must acknowledge the exactness of the other fit in regard to the ugliness of my phiz), I will not be discouraged by any inuendoes from pursuing my original plan. When I commenced this paper, my intention was to inform you of something which may illustrate the question already started, and I now proceed to the task.

Returning the other evening rather earlier than usual, from the club of bachelors to which I have the honour to belong, I was led to follow up the conversation of my friends, by my own solitary meditations. It is a curious fact, that, whenever I arrive at my lodgings before the "witching time of night," I grow exceedingly wise and moral in my reflections; and what is not always the case with my poor head, am able to remember, with distinctness, the most trivial occurrence, and to distinguish with accuracy every object of the sight. Whereas, if" the clock strikes one" while I am out, "I take no note of time," and am never able to hear it, either on account of some peculiarity in the atmosphere at that particular juncture, or in my ears, or both. And as to seeing, I can see nothing at all, nor am I able to determine whether this myopy arises from the excessive darkness of the midnight hour, or from some periodical defect in my organs of vision. But I am only wandering from the point.

On the evening to which I have alluded, I was the more inclined to moralize, because I had not only retained a mens sana in corpore sano,— having neither received the salutations of the charlie's bludgeon, nor passed my meridian, but had also, on account of the tremendous lagomachy of my boon-companions, refrained from expressing my own opinion concerning the Influence of Women. I was, therefore, left to chew my cud over the question, and digest it at my leisure.-Well, thought I, as I arranged my person in the easy chair, and wheeled round to the fire, without any faith in astrology, the Influence of Women is equally various with that of the stars; and God knows-with a sigh-they are equally numerous. Numerous, however, as they are, I think one might abbreviate their history by dividing them into a certain number of classes; and as I

have begun my comparisons in astronomy, let me see how they will fit to the twelve signs of the Zodiac.

Some are like SAGITTARIUS, and from eyes of blue, black, or hazel, delight in aiming at the hearts of men, the sure and sharp arrows of their almost inexhaustible quivers. Others may come under the denomination of LIBRARIANS, not because they are learned, but on account of their propensity to weigh the matter on both sides, and by long deliberation, and long faces, to induce their captives to make more liberal settlements. GEMINI will include those who, by their astonishing fecundity, so powerfully urge on their husbands the necessity of making suitable provisions for an increasing family, and influence them in redoubling their exertions for that purpose. By CANCER one may understand a respectable body of females, who as they recede from the stage of human existence by slow and regular gradations, have considerable influence in suppressing, with their snappishness and ill-humour, the gallantry of those who would otherwise most willingly take them by the hand. The PISCES are another odd kind of fish, which, though they do not multiply among themselves, are yet, I fear, increasingly numerous. They live out of water, it is true; like owls they only venture forth in the night time, and contribute, by their meretricious arts, to excite the bad, while they destroy the worthier passions of youth. VIRGO is a title to which a numerous band of females lay claim so resolutely and vehemently, that one had better substitute virago, or even TAURUS (malgrè the gender), as applying to a much more extensive class of Amazons, who engross among themselves the singular faculty of bullying and intimidating all little men with squinting-eyes, crooked backs, and bandy legs. The SCORPIONS are a very terrible and deceitful race, and the man who is about to consummate his earthly bliss, must" take heed to his ways that he offend not with his tongue," or he will find to his sorrow, if he marry a person of this stamp, 66 it is better to dwell in the corner of the house-top, than with a brawling woman in a wide house." Those whom I would distinguish by the name of CAPRICORNUS, are a very considerate class of creatures. Not wishing to be over burdensome to any single man, they allow one the privilege of calling himself husband, and reserve the other to sustain the character of lover. This sort of ladies are noted for cutting rather curious capers; and they take considerable pleasure in ranking their submissive spouses with horned cattle. The ARIES are women who never condescend to argue a point but at the sword's point, and are accustomed to thrash all their opponents, until the chaff is separated from the wheat, and they gain them over to their own opinions. The followers of AQUARIUS are the least in number and repute of any in the Zodiac. These are they who go with a clean face and neat attire, are as innocent as doves, and have every thing very comfortable; but they sail down the stream of time as though they were the only inhabitants of earth, without taking notice of either men or things, and have no further influence on the minds of mankind, than as they sometimes induce poets to compare them with the noiseless waterbrooks, which

lose themselves at length

In matted grass, that with a livelier green
Betrays the secret of their silent course.

I scarcely knew what to do with LEO, and had entered so extensively in the way of research on the subject, as to wander even to "the land of

Nod;" where having satisfied myself that Cain's wife was the lion of the place, (being the mother of the first poet forsooth,) I suddenly returned by reason of the terror which I felt on an imaginary sight of the murderer's bloody hand. On recovering my self-possession I remarked, that she alone is a lion among women, who is of a noble and passionate, but yet forgiving nature. She whose love for him that is worthy of it, remains

"Unquenched by floods, and unconsumed by fire."

She who is a lover of her country and her children-she who is just and merciful-she who is chaste and honourable-she who is righteous in anger, but easily restrained, and of whom it might be said,

Tempore Pœnorum compescitur ira leonum,
Nec feritas animo, quæ fuit anté, manet.

She, in fine, who, in whatever sphere she is placed, acts with a manly resolution, and who, without divesting herself of any the least of those peculiar charms which concentrate in British females, carries every thing before her.*

Æ.

"The following epigram," says Bayle, " was in every body's hands about the year 1561, having been occasioned by the greatest part of the kingdoms of Europe being then governed by women, or at least under their administration." It may not unsuitably follow the above article.

Vulva regit Scotos,(a) hœres(b) tenet illa Britannos,
Flandros et Batavos nunc notha vulva(c) regit.
Vulva regit populos quos signat Gallia portu,(d)
Et fortes Gallos Itala vulva regit.(e)

His furiam furiis, vulvam conjungite vulvis,
Sic natura capax omnia regna capit.

Ad Medicam artem incertam, Gallia saucia tendis.
Non uti Medicis est medicina tibi.

Non credas Medicis, vena qui sanguinis hausta,
Conantur vires debilitare tuas.

Ut regi, matrique suœ, sis fida Deoque,
Utere concilio Gallia docta meo.

Et pacem tu inter proceres non ponito bellum,
Hospita(ƒ) lis. Artus rodit agitque tuos.

(a) Mary Stuart.

(b) Queen Elizabeth.

(c) Margaret, Duchess of Parma, natural daughter of Charles V.

(d) Catherine of Austria, sister to Charles V. widow of John 111. King of Portugal, and Regent during the minority of Sebastian, her son.

(e) Catherine de Medicis.

(f) An allusion is here meant to the name of the Chancellor De l'Hospital, to whom Catherine de Medicis chiefly owed the Regency.

[graphic][merged small][merged small]
« AnteriorContinuar »