143

1

make in an equipage, which she has set up in N. B. The nymphs and swains are further
your absence. I beg of you not to indulge her given to understand, that, in those happy
in this vanity; and desire you to consider, the climes, they are so far from being troubled
world is so whimsical, that though it will value with wolves, thal, for want of even foxes, a
you for being happy, it will hate you for ap. considerable pack of bounds have been lately
pearing so. The possession of wisdom and forced to eat sheep.
virtue, the only solid distinctions of life, is al-
lowed much more easily than that of wealth Whereas, on the sixth instaut at midniglit,
and quality. Besides which, I must entreat several persons of light bunour and Jouse cuirth,
you to weigh with yourself, what it is that baving taken upon them in the shape of men,
people aim at in setting themselves out to but with the voice of the players belonging to
show in gay equipages and moderate fortunes ? Mr. Powell's company, to call up surgeons at
You are not by this means a better man tban midnight, and send physicians to persons in
your neighbour is; but your borses are better sound sleep, and perfect health: This is to
than his are. And will you suffer care and in- certify, that Mr. Powell bad locked up the
quietude, to have it said, as you pass by, legs of his company for fear of mischief that

Those are very pretty punch nags?' Nay, night; and that Mr. Powell will not pay for
when you have arrived at this, there are a bun. any damages done by the said persons. It is
dred worthless fellows who are still four borses also further advised, that there were no mid-
happier than you are. Remember, dear bro-wives wanted when those persons called them
ther, there is a certain modesty in the enjoy- upin the several parts of Westminster; but that
ment of moderate wealth, which, to trausgress, those gentlewomen who were in the company
exposes men to the utmost derision; and, as of the said impostors, may take care to call
there is nothing but meanness of spirit can

such useful persons on the sixth of December move a mao to value bimself upon what can

next. be purchased with money, so he that shows The Censor having observed, that there an ambition that way, and cannut arrive at it, are fine wrought ladies' shoes and slippers put is more emphatically guilty of that meanness.

out to view at a great shoemaker's shop toI give you only my first thoughts on this oc

wards Saint James's end of Pall-mall, which casion; but sball, as I am a Censor, entertain create irregular thoughts and desires in the you in my next with my sentiments in general youth of this nation; the said shop-keeper is upon the subject of equipage ; and show, that required to take in those eye-sores, or show though there are no sumptuary laws amongst cause the next court-day why he continues to us, reason and good sense are equally binding, expose the same; and he is required to be preand will ever prevail in appointing approbation pared particularly to answer to the slippers or dislike in all matters of an indifferent pa. with green lace, and blue heels, ture, when they are pursued with earnestness.

'I am, Sir &c.'

It is impossible for me to return the obliging things Mr. Joshua Barnes bas said to me, upon

the account of our mutual friend Homer. He To all Gentlemen, Ladies, and others,

and I have read bim nuw forty years with some that delight ja soft lines.

understanding, and great admiration. A work These are to give notice, that the proper

to be produced by one who has enjoyed so great time of the year for writing Pastorals now draw

an intimacy with an autbor, is certainly to be ing near, there is a stage coach settled from valued more than any comment made by perthe One-hell in the Strand to Dorchester, which sons of yesterday. Therefore, according to my sets out twice a week, and passes through friend Joshua's request, I recommend his work; Basingstoke, Sutton, Stockbridge, Salisbury, and, having used a little magic in the case, i Blandford, and so to Dorchester, over the finest give this recommendation by way of ' Amulet downs in England. At all which places, there

or charm against the malignity of envious are accommodations of spreading beeches, beds backbiters, who speak evil of performances of flowers, turf seats, and purling streams, for whereof themselves were never capable. IfI happy swains; and thunderstruck oaks, and may use my friend Joshua's own words, I shall sest-banded ravens, to foretell misfortunes to

at present say no more, but that we, Homer's thuse that please to be wretched, with all other oldest acquaintance now living, know best his pecessaries for pensive passion.

ways; and can inform the world, that they are And, for the conveniency of such whose af- often mistaken when they think he is in lefairs will not perinit them to leave this town, thargic fits, which we know he was never subat the same place they may be furnished, during ject to; and shall make appear to be rank the season, with opening buds, flowering

scandal and envy, that of the Latin poet, thyme, warbling birds, sporting lambkins, and -Aliqnando bonus dormitat Homerus. fountain water, right and good, and bottled on

Hor. Ars Poct. ver. 359. the spot by one sent down on purpose.

ADVERTISEMENTS,

-Good old Ilemer somsinics Nois.

No. 144.] Saturday, March 11, 1709.10.

they may be as well taught as they are fed. Sheer-lane, March 10.

It is to me most miraculous, so unreasonable In a nation of liberty, there is hardly a per

a usurpation as this I am speaking of, should son in the whole inass of the people more ab.

so long bave been tolerated. We hang a poor solutely necessary than a Censor. It is allowed, fellow for taking any trifle from us on the road, that I have no authority for assuming this im- | aud bear with the rich for rubbing us of the portant appellation, and that I am censur or road itself. Such a tax as this would be of these nations just as one is chosen king at the great satisfaction to us who walk on foot; and, game of ‘ Questions and Commands : but if, siuce the distinction of riding in a coach is not in the execution of this fantastical dignity, i to be appointed according to a man's merit ur observe upon things which do not fall within service to his country, nor that liberty given the cognizance of real authority, I hope it will! as a reward for some eminent virtue, we should be granted, that an idle man could not be more

be bighly contented to see them pay something usefully employed. Among all the irregularities for the insult they do us, in the state they take of which I have taken notice, I know none su

upon them while they are drawn by us. proper to be presented to the world by a cen

Until they have made us some reparation of sor, as that of the general expense and affec- this kind, we, the peripatetics of Great Britain, tation in equipage. I have lately hinted, that cannot think ourselves well treated, while every this extravagance must necessarily get footing

one that is able is allowed to set up an equiwhere we bave no sumptuary laws, and where page. Every man may be dressed, attended, and car.

As for my part, I cannot but admire how ried, in what manner he pleases. But my persons, conscious to themselves of no manner tenderness to my fellow-subjects will not

of superiority above others, can, out of mere

permit me to let this enormity go unobserved.

pride or laziness, expose themselves at this rate As the matter now stands, every man takes to public view, aud put us all upon pronounit in his bead, that he has a liberty to spend cing those three terrible syllables, ' Wbo is his money as he pleases. Thus, in spite of all that?' When it comes to that question, our order, justice, and decorum, we, the greater method is, to consider the mein and air of the number of the queen's loyal subjects, for no passenger, and comfort ourselves for beina reason in the world but because we want dirty to the ancles, by laughing at his figure money, do not share alike in the division of her and appearance wh: overlooks us. Imut majesty's high road. The horses and slaves of confess, were it not for the solid injustice of the rich take up the whole street; while we

the thing, there is nothing could afford a dis. peripatetics are very glad to watch an oppor. cerning eye greater occasion for mirth, than tunity to whisk cross a passage, very thankful this licentious huddle of qualities and characthat we are not run over for interrupting the ma- ters in the equipages about this town. The cbine that carries in it a person neither more

overseers of the higli ways and coustables have handsome, wise, or valiant, than the meanest of so little skill or power tu rectify this matter, us. For this reason, were I to propose a tax, it that you may often see the equipage of a fellow, should certainly be upon coaches and chairs; whom all the town knows to deserve hanging, for po man living can assign a reason, wliy one make a stop that shall interrupt the lord-highman should have half a street to carry him at chancellor and all the judges in their way to bis ease, and perhaps only in pursuit of plea

Westminster. sures, when as good a man as himself wants

For the better understanding of things and rooin for bis own person to pass upon the most persons in this general confusion, I have given necessary and urgent occasion. Until such an directions to all the coach-makers and coachacknowledgement is made to the public, I shall painters in town, to bring me in lists of their take upon me to vest certain rights in the several customers ; and doubt not, but with scavengers of the cities of London and West. comparing the orders of each man, in the mioster, to take the horses and servants of all placing his arms on the door of his chariot, as such as do not become or deserve such distinc-well as the words, devices, and cyphers, to be tions, into their peculiar custody. The offen. fixed upon them, to make a collection which ders themselves i shall allow safe conduct to shall let us into the nature, if not the history, lheir places of abode in the carts of the said of mankiud, more usefully than the curiosities bcavengers, but their horses shall be mounted of any medalist in Europe. ny their footmen, and sent into the service But this evil of vanity in our figure, with abroad ; and I take this opportunity, in the many others, proceeds from a certain gayety of first place, to recruit the regiment of my good heart, which has crept into men's very thoughts old friend the brave and honest Sylvius,* that and complexious. The passions and adven.

Tures of beroes, when they enter the lists for * The real person here alluded 10, under his Latin name the tournament in romances, are not more of Sylvins, was most probably Cornelius Wood, a gentle. man of an excellent character, and very distinguished mili: easily distinguishable by their palfreys and their tary mcrit. Ile was born in Staffordshire an. 1636. armour, than the secret springs and affections

of the several pretenders to show amongst us, who look with deep attention on one object aj are known by their equipages in ordinary life. the playhouses, and are ever staring all round The young bridegroom with bis gilded cupids them in churches. It is urged by my corresand winged angels, has some excuse in the pondents, that they do all that is possible to joy of bis heart to launch out into something keep their eyes off these euisparers; but that, by that may be significant of his present bappi. what power they know not, both their diver. ness. But to see men, for no reason upon sions and devotions are interrupted by them in carth but that they are rich, ascend triumphant such a manner, as that they cannot attend to chariots, and ride through the people, has at either, without stealing looks at the persons the bo‘tom nothing else in it but an insolent whose eyes are fixed upon them. By this means, transport, arising only from the distinction of my petitioners say, they find themselves grow fortune.

insensibly less offended, and in time enamoured It is therefore high time that I call in such of these their enemies. What is required of coaches as are, in their embellishments, impro- me on this occasion is, that as I love and study per for the character of their owners. But if I to preserve the better part of mankind, the find I am not obeyed herein, and that I cannot females, I would give them sume account of pull down those equipages already erected, I this dangerous way of assault; against which shall take upon me to prevent the growth of there is so little defence, that it lays ambush this evil for the future, by enquiring into the for the sight itself, and makes them seeingly, pretensions of the persons, who shall hereafter knowivgly, willingly, and forcibly, go on to attempt to make public entries with ornaments their own captivity. and decorations of their own appointment. If This representation of the present state of a man, who believed he had the handsomest affairs between the two sexes gave me very leg in this kingdom, should take a fancy to much alarm; and I had no more to do, but to adorn so deserving a limb with a blue garter, recollect what I had seen at any one assembly he would justly be punished for offending for some years last past, to be convinced of the against the most noble order : and, I think, truth and justice of this remoustrance. If the general prostitution of equipage and reti- there be not a stop put to this evil art, all the pue is as destructive to all distinction, as the modes of address, and the elegant embellish. impertinence of one man, if permitted, would ments of life, which arise out of the noble pascertainly be to that illustrious fraternity. sion of love, will of necessity decay. Who

would be at the trouble of rhetoric, or study

the bon mien, when his introduction is so The censor having lately received intelli- much easier obtained by a sudden reverence in gence, that the ancient simplicity in the dress a downcast look at the meeting the eye of a and manners of that part of this island called fair lady, and beginning again to ogle her as Scotland begins to decay; and that there are soon as she glances another way? I remember at this time, in the good town of Edinburgh, very well, when I was last at an opera, I could beaux, fops, and coxcombs : his late correspon-perceive the eyes of the whole audience cast dent from that place is desired to send up their into particular cross angles one upon another, names and charaeters with all expedition, i hat without any manner of regard to the stage, they may be proceeded against accordingly, though king Latinus was himself present when and proper officers named to take in their I made that observation. It was then very canes, snuff-boxes, and all other useless neces. pleasant to look into the hearts of the whole saries commonly worn by such offenders. company ; for the balls of sight are so formed,

that one man's eyes are spectacles to another

to read his heart with. The most ordinary No. 145.] Tuesday, March 14, 1709-10. beholder can take notice of any violent agita. Nescio quis teneros oculus mihi fascinat agnos,

lion in the mind, any pleasing transport, or

Virg. Ecl. iii. 103. any inward grief, in the person he looks at ; Ah! what ill eyes bewitch my tender lambs?

but one of these oglers can see a studieci indif

ference, a concealed love, or a smothered White's Chocolate-house, March 13.

resentment, in the very glances that are made This evening was allotted for taking into to hide those dispositions of thought. The consideration a late request of two indulgent naturalists tell us, that the rattle-snake will fix parents, touching the care of a young daugh- himself under a tree where he sees a squirrel Ir-r, whom they design to send to a boarding- playing ; and, when he has once got the exschool, or keep at home, according to my change of a glance from the pretty wanton, determination ; but I am diverted from that will give it such a sudden stroke on its imagi. ubject by letters which I have received from nation, that though it may play from bough to several ladies, complaining of a certain sect of bough, and strive to avert its eyes from it for professed enemies to the repose of the fair sex, some time, yet it comes nearer and nearer by allel Ozlers. These are, it seems, gentlemen | little intervals of looking another wav, until it

ADVERTISEMENT.

March 11.

drops into the jaws of the animal, which it chantment, wbich is lodged in the optic nerves knew gazed at it for no other reason but to of the persons concerned in these dialogues, is, ruin it. I did not believe this piece of philo- I must confess, too nice a subject for one who sophy until that night I was just now speaking is not an adept in these speculations; but I of; but I then saw the same thing pass between shall, for the good and safety of the fair sex, an ogler and a coquette. Mirtillo, the most call my learned friend sir William Read to learned of the former, had for some time dis- my assistance, and, by the belp of his observa. continued to visit Flavia, no less eminent among tions on this organ, acquaint them when the the latter. They judustriously avoided all eye is to be believed, and when distrusted. On places where they raight probably meet, but the contrary, I shall conceal the true meaning chance brought them together to the play- of the looks of ladies, and indulge in them all house, and seated them in a direct line over the art they can acquire in the managment against each other, she in a front box, he in the of their glances : all which is but too little pit next the stage. As soon as Flavia bad re- against creatures wbo triumph in falsehood, and ceived the looks of the whole crowd below her begin to forswear with their eyes, when their with that air of insensibility, which is necessary tongues can be no longer believed. at the first entrance, she began to look round

ADVERTISEMENT. her, and saw the vagabond Mirtillo, who had so long absented bimself from her circle; and

A very clean well-behaved young gentlewhen she first discovered him, she looked upon man, who is in a very good way in Cornbill, him with that glance, which, in the language of bas writ to me the following lines ; and seems oglers, is called the scornful, but immediately in some passages of his letter, which I omit, to turned her observation another way, and relay it very much to heart, that I have not spo. turned upon him with the indifferent. This ken of a superpatural beauty whon, he sighs gave Mirtillo no small resentment; but he for, and complains to in most elaborate lan. used her accordingly. He took care to be guage. Alas! What can a monitor do ? All ready for her next glance. She found bis eyes mankind live in romance. full in the indolent, with his lips crumpled up,

Royal Exchange, in the posture of one whistling. Her anger at • MR. BICKERSTAFF, this usage immediately appeared in every mus. Some time since, you were pleased to mencle of ber face; and after many emotions, tion the beauties in the New Exchange and which glistened in her eyes, she cast them Westminster-ball, and, in my judgment, were round the whole house, and gave them softnesses not very impartial; for if you were pleased to in the face of every man she had ever seen allow there was one goddess in the New-Exbefore. After she thought she had reduced all change and two shepherdesses in Westminstershe saw to her obedience, the play began, and ball, you very well might say, there was and is at ended their dialogue. As soon as the first act present one angel in the Royal Exchange ; and was over, she stood up with a visage full of i humbly beg the favour of you to let justice dissembled alacrity and pleasure, with which be done her, by inserting this in your next she overlooked the audience, and at last came Tatler ; wbich will make her my good angel, to bim; he was then placed in a side way, with and me your most humble servant, his hat slouched over his eyes, and gazing at a

• A. B.' wench in the side-box, as talking of that gipsy to the gentleman who sat by him. But, as she fixed upon him, he turned suddenly with a full No. 146.] Thursday, March 16, 1709-10. face upon her, and, with all the respect ima. Permittes ipsis expendere naminibus, quid ginable, made her the most obsequious bow in

Conveniat nobis, rebusque sit atile nostris.

Nam pro jucnudis aptissima quæque dabant DII the presence of the whole theatre.

Carior est illis homo, quam sibi. Nos animorum her a pleasure not to be concealed ; and she Impalsa cæcu magnâyue cupidine dacti, made him the recovering, or second courtesy,

Conjugium petimus, partamqne uxoris ; at illis

Notum, qui pueri, qualisque futura sit uxor. with a smile that spoke a perfect reconciliation.

Juv. Sat. X. 347, et seq. Between the ensuing acts, they talked to each

Intrust thy fortane to the powers above ; other with gestures and glances so significant,

Leave them to manage for thee, and to grant that they ridiculed the whole house in this What their onerring wisdom sees thee want : silent speech, and made an appointment that

In goodness as in greatness they excel : Mirtillo should lead her to her coacb.

Ahl that we lov'd ourselves bat balf so well

We, blindly by our headstrong passions led, The peculiar language of one eye, as it dif- Are hot for action, and desire to wed; fers from another as inuch as the tone of one

Then wish for heirs, but to the gods alone roice from another, and the fascination or en

Our fatare offspring and our wives are known.

Dryden.

From my own Apartment, March 15. • For many years last past this behaviour from a person

AMONG the various sets of correspondents the pit, to a lady or even a gentleman in a bor, would ve thought monstrous

wbo apply to me for advice, and send up theis

This gave

eases from all parts of Great Britain, there are chair, I took up Homer, and dipped into that
none who are more importunate with me, and famous speech of Achilles to Priam,* in which
whom I am more inclined to answer, than the he tells him, that Jupiter has hy him two great
Complainers. One of them dates his letter to #vessels, the one filled with blessings, and the
me from the banks of a purling stream, where other misfortunes ; out of which he mingles a
he used to ruminate in solitude upon the divine composition for every man that comes into the
Clarissa, and where he is now looking about world. This passage so exceedingly pleased
for a convenient leap, which he tells me be is me, that, as I fell insensibly into my afternoon's
resolved to take, unless I support him under slumber, it wrought my imagination into the
the loss of that charming perjured woman. following dream.
Poor Larinia presses as much for consolation When Jupiter took into his bands the go.
on the orber side, and is reduced to such an vernment of the world, the several parts of
extremity of despair by the inconstancy of Phi- nature with the presiding deities did homage
lander that she tells me she writes her letter to him. One presented him with a mountain
with her pen in one hand, and her garter in the of winds, another with a magazine of bail, and
other. A gentleman of an ancient family in Nor- a third with a pile of thunder-bolts. The stars
folk is almost out of his wits upon the account offered up their influences; ocean gave in his
of a greyhound, that, after having been his inse- trident, earth her fruits, and the sun his sea-
parable companion for ten years, is at last run sons. Among the several deities who came to
mad. Another, who I believe is serious, com- make their court on this occasion, the desti-
plains to me, in a very moving manner, of the nies advanced with two great tuns carried be.
loss of a wife; and another, in terms still more fore them, one of which they fixed at the right-
moving, of a purse of money that was taken band of Jupiter, as he sat upon his throne, and
from him on Bagshot-heath, and which, he the other on bis left. The first was filled with
tells me, would not have troubled him, if he all the blessings, and the other with all the
bad given it to the poor. In short, there is calamities of human life. Jupiter, in the be-
scarce a calamity in human life that has not ginning of his reign, finding the world much
produced me a letter.

more innocent than it is in this iron age, poured
It is indeed wonderful to consider, how men very plentifully out of the the tun that stood
are able to raise affliction to themselves out at his right band; but, as mankind degene-
of every thing. Lands and houses, sheep and rated, and became unworthy of his blessings,
oxen, can convey happiness and misery into he set abroach the other vessel, that filled the
the bearts of reasonable creatures. Nay, I world with pain and poverty, battles and dis-
have known a muff, a scarf, or a tippet, become tempers, jealousy and falsehood, intoxicating
a solid blessing or misfortune. A lap-dog has pleasures, and untimely deaths.
broke the hearts of thousands. Flavia, who He was at length so very much incensed at
bad buried five children and two husbands, the great depravation of human nature, and
was never able to get over the loss of her par- the repeated provocations which he received
rot. How often has a divine creature been from all parts of the earth, that, having re-
thrown into a fit by a neglect at a ball or an solved to destroy the whole species, except
assembly? Mopsa has kept her chamber ever Deucalion and Pyrrha, he commanded the
since the last masquerade, and is in greater destinies to gather up the blessings which le
danger of her life upon being left out of it, than bad thrown away upon the sons of men, and
Clarinda from the violent cold which she caught lay them up until the world should be ioba-
at it. Nor are these dear creatures the only bited by a more virtuous and deserving race of
sufferers by such imaginary calamities. Many mortals.
an author has been dejected at the censure of The three sisters. immediately repaired to
one whom he ever looked upon as an idiot : the earth, in search of the several blessings
and many a hero cast into a fit of melancholy, that had been scattered on it; but found the
because the rabble have not booted at bim as task which was enjoined them, to be much
be passed through the streets. Theron places more difficult than they imagined. The first
all his bappiness in a running horse, Suffenus places they resorted to, as the most likely to
ip a gilded chariot, Fulvius in a blue string, succeed in, were cities, palaces, and courts ;
and Florio in a tulip-rwt. It would be endless but, instead of meeting with what they looked
to enumerate the many fantastical afflictions for here, they found nothing but envy, repining
that disturb mankind; but as a misery is not
to be measured from the nature of the evil, • Two urns by Jove's high throne have ever stood,
but from the temper of the sufferer, I shall The source of evil one, and one of good;

From thence the cup of mortal man he fills,
present my readers, who are unhappy either

Blessings to those, to those distributes ills;
jo reality or imagination, with an allegory, for 'To most he mingles both; the wretch decreed
which I am indebted to the great father and

To laste the bad, onmix’d, is curst indeed ;

Pursned by wrongs, by meagre famine driven,
prince of poets.

He wanders, oulcast both of earth and heaven.
As I was sitting after dinner in my elbow-

Popr's Hom. 11. xiv. Vrhus