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who alone had more merit than their whole
assembly:' upon which he went to the door,
and brought in Cato of Utica. That great man
approached the company with such an air, that
showed he contemned the honour which he
laid a claim to. Observing the seat opposite to
Cæsar was vacant, he took possession of it, and
spoke two or three smart sentences upon the
nature of precedency, which, according to him,
consisted not in place, but in intrinsic merit:
to which he added, 'that the most virtuous
man, wherever he was seated, was always at
the upper end of the table.' Socrates, who
had a great spirit of raillery with his wisdom,
could not forbear smiling at a virtue which
took so little pains to make itself agreeable.
Cicero took the occasion to make a long dis-
course in praise of Cato, which he uttered with
much vehemence. Cæsar answered him with
a great deal of seeming temper; but, as I
stood at a great distance from them, I was not
able to hear one word of what they said. But
I could not forbear taking notice, that, in all
the discourse which passed at the table, a word
or nod from Homer decided the controversy.
After a short pause, Augustus appeared, No. 82.] Tuesday, October 18, 1709.
looking round him with a serene and affable
countenance upon all the writers of his age,
who strove among themselves which of them
should show him the greatest marks of grati-
tude and respect. Virgil rose from the table
to meet him; and though he was an accept-
able guest to all, he appeared more such to
the learned than the military worthies.

was almost full: at the upper end sat Hercu-
les, leaning an arm upon his club; on his right
hand were Achilles and Ulysses, and between
them Æneas; on his left were Hector,
Theseus, and Jason: the lower end had
Orpheus, Æsop, Phalaris, and Musæus.
ushers seemed at a loss for a twelfth man, when,
methought, to my great joy and surprise, I
heard some at the lower end of the table men-
tion Isaac Bickerstaff; but those of the upper
end received it with disdain; and said, if
they must have a British worthy, they would
have Robin Hood.' While I was transported
with the honour that was done me, and burning
with envy against my competitor, I was awa-
kened by the noise of the cannon which were
then fired for the taking of Mons. I should
have been very much troubled at being thrown
out of so pleasing a vision on any other occa-
sion; but thought it an agreeable change, to
have my thoughts diverted from the greatest
among the dead and fabulous heroes, to the
most famous among the real and the living.

The next man astonished the whole table with his appearance. He was slow, solemn, and silent in his behaviour, and wore a raiment curiously wrought with hieroglyphics. As he came into the middle of the room, he threw hack the skirt of it, and discovered a golden thigh. Socrates, at the sight of it, declared against keeping company with any who were not made of flesh and blood; and, therefore, desired Diogenes the Laertian to lead him to the apartment allotted for fabulous heroes, and worthies of dubious existence. At his going out, he told them, that they did not know whom they dismissed; that he was now Pythagoras, the first of philosophers, and that formerly he had been a very brave man at the siege of Troy. That may be very true,' said Socrates; but you forget that you have like wise been a very great harlot in your time.' This exclusion made way for Archimedes, who came forward with a scheme of mathematical figures in his hand; among which I observed a cone and a cylinder.

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Seeing this table full, I desired my guide, for variety, to lead me to the fabulous apartment, the roof of which was painted with Gorgons, Chinæras, and Centaurs, with many other emblematical figures, which I wanted both time and skill to unriddle. The first table

Ubi idem et maximus et honestissimus amor est, aliquando præstat morte jungi, quàm vitâ distrahi. Val. Max. Where there is the greatest and most hononrable love, it is sometimes better to be joined in death, than separated in life.

From my own Apartment, October 17. AFTER the mind has been employed on contemplations suitable to its greatness, it is unnatural to run into sudden mirth or levity; but we must let the soul subside, as it rose, by proper degrees. My late considerations of the ancient heroes impressed a certain gravity upon my mind, which is much above the little gratification received from starts of humour and fancy, and threw me into a pleasing sadness. In this state of thought I have been looking at the fire, and in a pensive manner reflecting upon the great misfortunes and calamities incident to human life; among which there are none that touch so sensibly as those which befall persons who eminently love, and meet with fatal interruptions of their happiness when they least expect it. The piety of children to parents, and the affection of parents to their children, are the effects of instinct; but the affection between lovers and friends is founded on reason and choice, which has always made me think the sorrows of the latter much more to be pitied than those of the former. The contemplation of distresses of this sort softens the mind of man, and makes the heart better. It extinguishes the seeds of envy and ill-will towards mankind, corrects the pride of prosperity, and beats down all that fierceness and insolence which are apt to get into the minds of the daring and fortunate.

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For this reason the wise Athenians, in their perfect tranquillity, observing the setting of theatrical performances, laid before the eyes of the sun, the calm face of the deep, and the the people the greatest afflictions which could silent heaving of the waves, which gently rolled befall human life, and insensibly polished their towards them, and broke at their feet when tempers by such representations. Among the at a distance her kinswoman saw something moderns, indeed, there has arisen a chimerical float on the waters, which she fancied was a method of disposing the fortune of the persons chest; and with a smile told her, she saw it represented, according to what they call poeti- first, and if it came ashore full of jewels, she cal justice; and letting none be unhappy but had a right to it. They both fixed their eyes those who deserve it. In such cases, an intel- upon it, and entertained themselves with the ligent spectator, if he is concerned, knows he subject of the wreck, the cousin still asserting ought not to be so; and can learn nothing her right; but promising, if it was a prize, from such a tenderness, but that he is a weak to give her a very rich coral for the child of creature, whose passions cannot follow the dic-which she was then big, provided she might be tates of his understanding. It is very natural, god-mother.' Their mirth soon abated, when when one is got into such a way of thinking, they observed, upon the nearer approach, that to recollect those examples of sorrow which it was a human body. The young lady, who have made the strongest impression upon our had a heart naturally filled with pity and comimaginations. An instance or two of such you passion, made many melancholy reflections on will give me leave to communicate. the orcasion. Who knows,' said she, but A young gentleman and lady of ancient and this man may be the only hope and heir of a honourable houses in Cornwall bad, from their wealthy house; the darling of indulgent pachildhood, entertained for each other a gene-rents, who are now in impertinent mirth, and rous and noble passion, which had been long pleasing themselves with the thoughts of offeropposed by their friends, by reason of the ine-ing him a bride they have got ready for him? quality of their fortunes; but their constancy to each other, and obedience to those on whom they depended, wrought so much upon their relations, that these celebrated lovers were at length joined in marriage. Soon after their nuptials, the bridegroom was obliged to go into a foreign country, to take care of a considerable fortune, which was left him by a relation, and came very opportunely to improve their moderate circumstances. They received the congratulations of all the country on this occasion; and I remember it was a common sentence in every one's mouth, 'You see how faithful love is rewarded.'*

He took this agreeable voyage, and sent home every post fresh accounts of his success in his affairs abroad; but at last, though he designed to return with the next ship, he lamented, in his letters, that business would detain him some time longer from home,' because he would give himself the pleasure of an unexpected arrival.

The young lady, after the heat of the day, walked every evening on the sea-shore, near which she lived, with a familiar friend, her husband's kinswoman; and diverted herself with what objects they met there, or upon discourses of the future methods of life, in the happy change of their circumstances. They stood one evening on the shore together in a

*This melancholy relation concerning these Cornish lovers seems to have been founded on a real story, not very remote from the original date of the paper. The writer, whoever he was, affirms that he remembered a common sentence in every one's month' on the occasion of the gentleman's succession to an unexpected fortune. The reader

or, may he not be the master of a family that wholly depended upon his life? There may, for aught we know, be half a dozen fatherless children, and a tender wife, now exposed to poverty by his death. What pleasure might be have promised himself in the different welcome he was to have from her and them! But let us go away; it is a dreadful sight! The best office we can do, is to take care that the poor man, whoever he is, may be decently buried.' She turned away, when a wave threw the carcass on the shore. The kinswoman immediately, shrieked out, 'Oh my cousin!' and fell upon the ground. The unhappy wife went to help her friend, when she saw her own husband at her feet, and dropped in a swoon upon the body. An old woman, who had been the gentleman's nurse, came out about this time to call the ladies in to supper, and found her child, as she always called him, dead on the shore, her mistress and kinswoman both lying dead by him. Her loud lamentations, and calling her young master to life, soon awaked the friend from her trance; but the wife was gone for ever.

When the family and neighbourhood got together round the bodies, no one asked any question, but the objects before them told the story.

Incidents of this nature are the more moving when they are drawn by persons concerned in the catastrophe, notwithstanding they are often oppressed beyond the power of giving them in a distinct light, except we gather their sorrow from their inability to speak it.

I have two original letters, written both on may compare this with Gay's much admired relation of the same day, which are to me exquisite in

John Hewit and Surah Drew; 'Pope's Works,' vol. iv. p. 9.
Lond. Ed. 1770.

their different kinds. The occasion was this:

A gentleman who had courted a most agree able young woman, and won her heart, obtained also the consent of her father, to whom she was an only child. The old man had a fancy that they should be married in the same church where he himself was, in a village in Westmoreland, and made them set out while he was laid up with the gout at London. The bridegroom took only his man, the bride her maid they had the most agreeable journey imaginable to the place of marriage; from whence the bridegroom writ the following letter to his wife's father.

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'After a very pleasant journey hither, we are preparing for the happy hour in which I am to be your son. I assure you the bride carries it, in the eye of the vicar who married you, much beyond her mother; though he says, your open sleeves, pantaloons, and shoulder-knot, made a much better show than the finical dress I am in. However, I am contented to be the second fine man this village ever saw, and shall make it very merry before night, because I shall write myself from thence, Your most dutiful son,

'T. D.'

'The bride gives her duty, and is as handsome as an angel.-—I am the happiest man breathing.'

The villagers were assembling about the church, and the happy couple took a walk in a private garden. The bridegroom's man knew his master would leave the place on a sudden after the wedding, and, seeing him draw his pistols the night before, took this opportunity to go into his chamber and charge them. Upon their return from the garden, they went into that room; and, after a little fond raillery on the subject of their courtship, the lover took up a pistol, which he knew he had unloaded the night before, and, presenting it to her, said, with the most graceful air, whilst she looked pleased at his agreeable flattery; Now, madam, repent of all those cruelties you have been guilty of to me; consider, before you die, how often you have made a poor wretch freeze under casement; you shall die, you tyrant, you shall die, with all those instruments of death and destruction about you, with that enchanting smile, those killing ringlets of your hair

your

Give fire!' said she, laughing. He did so; and shot her dead. Who can speak his condition? but he bore it so patiently as to call up bis man. nan. The poor wretch entered, and his master locked the door upon him. Will,' said he, did you charge these pistols?' He answered, 'Yes.' Upon which he shot him dead with that remaining. After this, amidst a thousand broken sobs, piercing groans, and distracted motions, he writ the following letter to the father of his dead mistress.

SIR,

'I, who two hours ago told you truly I was the happiest man alive, am now the most miserable. Your daughter lies dead at my feet, killed by my hand, through a mistake of my man's charging my pistols unknown to me. Him have I murdered for it. Such is my wedding day.I will immediately follow my wife to her grave; but, before I throw myself upon my sword, I command my distraction so far as to explain my story to you. I fear my heart will not keep together until I have stabbed it. Poor, good old man!-- -Remember, he that killed your daughter died for it. In the article of death, I give you my thanks, and pray for you, though I dare not for myself. If it be possible, do not curse me.'

No. 83.]

Thursday, October 20, 1709.

Senilis stultitia, quæ deliratio appellari solet, senuin levium est, non omnium. M. T. Cic.

That which is usually called dotage is not the foible of all old men, but only of such as are remarkable for their levity and inconstancy.

From my own Apartment, October 19.

IT is my frequent practice to visit places of resort in this town where I am least known, to observe what reception my works meet with in the world, and what good effects I may promise myself from my labours: and it being a privilege asserted by monsieur Montaigue, and others of vain-glorious memory, that we writers of essays may talk of ourselves; I take the liberty to give an account of the remarks which I find are made by some of my gentle readers upon these my dissertations.

I happened this evening to fall into a coffeehouse near the Exchange, where two persons were reading my account of the 'Table of

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know. Whatever he read, I found he interpreted from his own way of life and acquaintance. I am glad my readers can construe for themselves these difficult points; but, for the benefit of posterity, I design, when I come to write my last paper of this kind, to make it an explanation of all my former. In that piece, you shall have all I have commended, with their proper names. The faulty characters must be left as they are, because we live in an age wherein vice is very general, and virtue very particular; for which reason the latter only wants explanation.

But I must turn my present discourse to what is of yet greater regard to me than the care of my writings; that is to say, the preservation of a lady's heart. Little did I think I should ever have business of this kind on my hands more; but, as little as any one who knows me would believe it, there is a lady at this time who professes love to me. Her passion and good humour you shall have in her own words.

MR. BICKERSTAFF,

'I had formerly a very good opinion of my self; but it is now withdrawn, and I have placed it upon you, Mr. Bickerstaff, for whom I am not ashamed to declare I have a very great passion and tenderness. It is not for your face, for that I never saw your shape and height I am equally a stranger to; but your understanding charms me, and I am lost if you do not dissemble a little love for me. I am not without because I am not like the tawdry gay hopes; things that are fit only to make bone lace. I am neither childish-young, nor beldam-old, but, the world says, a good agreeable woman. Speak peace to a troubled heart, troubled only for you; and in your next paper let me find your thoughts of me.

"Do not think of finding out who I am, for, notwithstanding your interest in dæmons, they cannot help you either to my name, or a sight of my face; therefore, do not let them deceive you. I can bear no discourse, if you are not the subject; and, believe me, I know more of love than you do of astronomy.

Pray, say some civil things in return to my generosity, and you shall have my very best pen employed to thank you, and I will confirm it. 'I am your admirer,

'MARIA,'

There is something wonderfully pleasing in the favour of women; and this letter has put me in so good a humour, that nothing could displease me since I received it. My boy breaks glasses and pipes; and instead of giving him a knock on the pate, as my way is, for I hate scolding at servants, I only say, 'Ab, Jack! thou hast a head, and so has a pin,' or some such merry expression. But, alas! how am I mortified when he is putting on my fourth pair of stockings on these poor spindles of mine?

'The fair one understands love better than I astronomy?' I am sure, without the help of that art, this poor meagre trunk of mine is a very ill habitation for love. She is pleased to speak civilly of my sense, but Ingenium male habitat is an invincible difficulty in cases of this nature. I had always, indeed, from a passion to please the eyes of the fair, a great pleasure in dress. Add to this, that I have writ songs since I was sixty, and have lived with all the circumspection of an old beau, as I am. But my friend Horace has very well said, ' Every year takes something from us; and instructed me to form my pursuits and desires according to the stage of my life: therefore, I have no more to value myself upon, than that I can converse with young people without peevishness, or wishing myself a moment younger. For which reason, when I am amongst them, I rather moderate than interrupt their diversions. But though I have this complacency, I must not pretend to write to a lady civil things, as Maria desires. Time was, when I could her fair hands; and, that if this paper trembled have told her, 'I had received a letter from as she read it, it then best expressed its author,' or some other gay conceit. Though I never saw her, I could have told her, that gooa that constancy and good-nature dwelt in her sense and good humour smiled in her eyes:

heart: that beauty and good breeding appeared in all her actions. When I was five-and-twenty, upon sight of one syllable, even wrong spelt, by a lady I never I saw, I could tell her, that her height was that which was fit for inviting our approach, and commanding our respect; that a smile sat on her lips, which prefaced her expressions before she uttered them, and her aspect prevented her speech. All she could say, though she had an infinite deal of wit, was form; her form! which struck her beholders but a repetition of what was expressed by her with ideas more moving and forcible than ever At this rate I panted in those days; but, ah! were inspired by music, painting, or eloquence.' sixty-three! I am very sorry I can only return the agreeable Maria a passion expressed rather from the head than the heart.

DEAR MADAM,

'You have already seen the best of me, and I so passionately love you, that I desire we may never meet. If you will examine your heart, you will find that you join the man with the philosopher: and if you have that kind opinion of my sense as you pretend, I question not but you add to it complexion, air, and shape: but, dear Molly, a man in his grand climacteric is of no sex. Be a good girl; and conduct yourself with honour and virtue, when you love one younger than myself. I am with the greatest tenderness, Your innocent lover,

I. B.

Wills's Coffee-house, October 19. There is nothing more common than the weakness mentioned in the following epistle; and I believe there is hardly a man living who nas not been more or less injured by it. SIR,

Land's-End, October 12.

'I have left the town some time; and much the sooner, for not having had the advantage, when I lived there, of so good a pilot as you are to this present age. Your cautions to the young men against the vices of the town are very well: but there is one not less needful, which I think you have omitted. I had from the Rough Diamond (a gentleman so called from an honest blunt wit he had) not long since dead, this observation, That a young man must be at least three or four years in London before he dares say, No.

You will easily see the truth and force of this observation; for I believe more people are drawn away against their inclinations, than with them. A young man is afraid to deny any body going to a tavern to dinner; or, after being gorged there, to repeat the same with another company at supper, or to drink excessively, if desired, or go to any other place, or commit any other extravagancy proposed. The fear of being thought covetous, to have no money, or to be under the dominion or fear of his parents and friends, hinder him from the free exercise of bis understanding, and affirming boldly the true reason, which is, his real dislike of what is desired. If you could cure this slavish facility, it would save abundance at their first entrance into the world. I am, sir, Yours,

SOLOMON AFTERWIT.'

This epistle has given an occasion to a treatise on this subject, wherein I shall lay down rules when a young stripling is to say, No; and a young virgin, Yes.

N. B. For the publication of this discourse, I wait only for subscriptions from the under graduates of each university, and the young ladies in the boarding-schools of Hackney and Chelsea,

St. James's Coffce-house, October 19. Letters from the Hague, of the twenty-fifth of October, N. S. advise, that the garrison of Mous marched out on the twenty-third instant, and a garrison of the allies marched into the town. All the forces in the field, both of the enemy and the confederates, are preparing to withdraw into winter-quarters.

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rape is to be tried. But by Mr. A. B.'s favour, I cannot tell who are so much concerned in that part of the law as the sex he mentions, they being the only persons liable to such insults. Nor, indeed, do I think it more unreasonable that they should be inquisitive on such occasions than men of honour, when our is tried for killing another in a duel. It is very natural to enquire how the fatal pass was made, that we may the better defend ourselves when we come to be attacked. Several eminen: ladies appeared lately at the court of justice on such an occasion, and, with great patience and attention, staid the whole trials of two persons for the above-said crime. The law to me, indeed, seems a little defective in this point; and it is a very great hardship, that this crime, which is committed by men only, should have men only on their jury. I humbly, therefore, propose, that on future trials of this sort, half of the twelve may be women; and those such whose faces are well known to have taken notes, or may be supposed to remember what happened in former trials in the same place. There is the learned Androgyne, that would make a good fore-woman of the pannel, who, by long attendance, understands as much law and anatomy as is necessary in this case. Until this is taken care of, I am humbly of opinion, it would be much more expedient that the fair were wholly absent; for to what end can it be that they should be present at such examinations, when they can only be perplexed with a fellow-feeling for the injured, without any power to avenge their sufferings? It is an unnecessary pain which the fair ones give themselves on these occasions. I have known a young woman shriek out at some parts of the evidence; and have frequently observed, that when the proof grew particular and strong, there has been such a universal flutter of fans, that one would think the whole female audience were falling into fits. Nor, indeed, can I see how men themselves can be wholly unmoved at such tragical relations.

In short, I must tell my female readers, and they may take an old man's word for it, that there is nothing in woman so graceful and be coming as modesty. It adds charms to their beauty, and gives a new softness to their sex. Without it, simplicity and innocence appear rude; reading and good sense, masculine; wit and humour, lascivious. This is so necessary a qualification for pleasing, that the loose part of womankind, whose study it is to ensnare men's hearts, never fail to support the appearance of what they know is so essential to that end; and I have heard it reported by the young fellows in my time, as a maxim of the celebrated madam Bennet,* that a young wench,

* A notorions bawd in the reign of Charles II. called Alistress, and Madan and Mother Beuet.

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