three years. I have reason to bless God that my poor labours were acceptable, and I hope, in some measure, useful to the people.

The four following years I spent about Leeds and Birstal, in Yorkshire. In the latter of these there was a very great revival of religion. Hundreds of sinners were awakened and turned from the evil of their ways; and many received a comfortable assurance of the favour of God.

From Yorkshire I am again returned to London. What successes, trials, or comforts I may meet with, I know not; but I am still determined to continue at my Master's feet, that he may fulfil in me all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power.

With regard to the Arminian controversy, although I have frequently heard the Calvinists preach, and also read many of their writings, yet I never had the least doubt of Christ's tasting death for every man, or of his willingness to save to the uttermost all who come unto God through him.

I am, Rev. Sir, yours, &c.,

JOHN PAWSON.

A SHORT ACCOUNT

OF

MR. JOHN HAIME.

TO THE REV. JOHN WESLEY.

REV. SIR, I was born at Shaftsbury, Dorsetshire, in 1710. My father followed gardening, and brought me up to the same employment for several years, but I did not like it, and longed for some business that would allow me more liberty. In the mean time I was very undutiful to my parents, and much given to cursing, swearing, lying, and Sabbath breaking. But I was not easy in this way, being often afraid that the devil would carry me away.

I was then placed with my uncle to learn to make buttons. I liked this well at first, but was soon tired of

it. However, I stayed out the year. But my uncle then removing to Blandford, I was out of business. I wrought in many places, but stayed in none; being like a troubled sea, that cannot rest. After some time I went to my uncle, at Blandford, and wrought with him about a quarter of a year. But still I found no satisfaction in any thing, neither in working, eating, drinking, nor even in sleeping; though neither I myself, nor any of my acquaintance could imagine what was the matter with me.

Some time after, as I was working alone, the devil broke in upon me with reasonings concerning the being of a God, till my senses were almost gone. He then so strongly tempted me to blaspheme God, that I could not withstand. He then told me, "Thou art inevitably damned." And I readily believed him. For I thought, though I have not cursed God outwardly, yet he looketh to the heart. This consideration made me sink into despair, as a stone into the mighty waters.

me.

I now began to wander about by the river side, and through woods and solitary places, many times looking up to heaven with a heart ready to break, thinking I had no part there. I thought every one happy but myself: the devil continually telling me there was no mercy for Yet I thought it was hard to be banished for ever from the presence of a merciful God. I cried to him for help; but I found no relief; it seemed to be all in vain. So I said, like the men of Judah, There is no hope; and then gave the reins to my evil desires, not caring which end went foremost, but giving myself up again to wicked company, and all their evil ways.

If at any time I grew uneasy again, I stifled it by drinking, swearing, card playing, lewdness, and the like works of darkness, which I then pursued with all greediness. And I was hastening on when the great, tremendous God, met me as a lion in the way, and his Holy Spirit, whom I had been so long grieving, returned with greater force than ever. I had no rest day or night. I was afraid to go to bed, lest the devil should fetch me away before morning. I was afraid to shut my eyes, lest I should awake in hell. I was terrified when asleep; sometimes dreaming that many devils were in the room, ready to take me away; sometimes

that the world was at an end, and I was not ready to appear before the Judge of quick and dead. At other times I thought I saw the world on fire, and the wicked left to burn therein, with myself among them, and when I awoke my senses were almost gone.

I was often on the point of destroying myself, and was stopped, I know not how. Then did I weep bitterly: I moaned like a dove; I chattered like a swallow. But I thought, though my anguish is very great, it is not like those who are lifting up their eyes in torments. Then, for a few moments, I felt thankfulness to God. But still the thoughts of death and judgment followed me close for upward of two years, till all my bodily strength was gone. Returning home one day, and sitting down in a chair, my mother, observing my pale look and low voice, asked, "What is the matter with you?" But I durst not tell her: so I turned it off.

One night, as I was going to bed, I durst not lie down without prayer. So, falling upon my knees, I began to consider, "What can I pray for? I have neither the will nor the power to do any thing good." Then it darted into my mind, "I will not pray; neither will I be beholden to God for mercy." I arose from my knees without prayer; and laid me down; but not in peace. I never had such a night before. I was as if my very body had been in a fire: and I had a hell in my conscience. I was thoroughly persuaded the devil was in the room; and I fully expected every moment that he would be let loose upon me. I judged myself to be one of the worst creatures that God ever made. I thought I had sinned beyond the reach of mercy. Yet all this time I kept to the church, though I was often afraid to go, lest the church or the tower should fall upon me.

In spring I was employed by a tanner, to go with his carriage, and fetch dried bark. As I was returning by myself, I was violently tempted to blaspheme, yea, and hate God: till, at length, having a stick in my hand, I threw it toward heaven, against God, with the utmost enmity. Immediately I saw in the clear element a creature like a swan, but much larger, part black, part brown. It flew at me, and went just over my head. Then it went about forty yards, lighted on the ground,

and stood staring upon me. This was in a clear day, about twelve o'clock: I strove to pray, but could not. At length God opened my mouth. I hastened home, praying all the way, and earnestly resolving to sin no more. But I soon forgot my resolution, and multiplied my sins as the sands on the sea shore.

To complete all, I enlisted myself for a soldier, in the queen's regiment of dragoons. When we marched for Gloucester, on Christmas day, in the morning, 1739, the thoughts of parting with all my friends, my wife and children, were ready to break my heart. My sins likewise came all to my remembrance, and my troubles increased night and day. Nevertheless, when I became acquainted with my comrades, I soon returned as a dog to his vomit. Yet God soon renewed my good desires. I began to read, and pray, and go to church every day. But frequently I was so tempted there, that it was as much as I could do to avoid blaspheming loud. Satan suggested, "Curse him! curse him!" perhaps a hundred times. My heart as often replied, "No! no! no!" Then he suggested, "Thou hast sinned against the Holy Ghost." But I still cried unto God, though the deep waters flowed over me, and despair closed me in on every side.

Soon after we marched to camp at Kingsclear, in Hampshire. Thence we removed to winter quarters at Farringdon. I was still deeply miserable through sin; but not conqueror over it. This was still my language:

"Here I repent, and sin again:
Now I revive, and now am slain !
Slain with the same unhappy dart,

Which O! too often wounds my heart!"

After this I quartered at Highworth, in Wiltshire. Among many old books which were here, I found one entitled, "Grace abounding to the Chief of Sinners." I read it with the utmost attention, and found his case nearly resembled my own. Having soon after orders to march for Scotland, we marched the first day to Banbury, where I found again in a bookseller's shop, "Grace abounding to the Chief of Sinners." I bought it, and thought it the

best book I ever saw: and again I felt some hope of mercy. In every town where we stayed I went to Church. But I did not hear what I wanted. "Behold the Lamb of God, who taketh away the sin of the world."

Being come to Alnwick, Satan desired to have me, that he might sift me as wheat. And the hand of the Lord came upon me with such weight as made me roar for very anguish of spirit. I could truly say, "The arrows of the Almighty are within me; the poison thereof drinketh up my spirits." Many times I stopped in the street, afraid to go one step farther, lest I should step into hell. Then I cried unto the Lord, and said, "Why hast thou set me as a mark? Let loose thy hand and cut me off, that I sin no more against thee." I said, "Is thy mercy clean gone for ever? And must I perish at the last? Save, Lord, or I perish!" But there was no answer. hope was cut off.

So all

I now read, and fasted, and went to Church, and prayed seven times a day. One day as I walked by the Tweed side, I cried out aloud, being all athirst for God, "O that thou wouldst hear my prayer, and let my cry come up before thee!" The Lord heard: he sent a gracious answer: he lifted me up out of the dungeon. He took away all my sorrow and fear, and filled my soul with peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. The stream glided sweetly along, and all nature seemed to rejoice with me. I was truly free; and had I had any to guide me, I need never more have come into bondage. But I was so ignorant, I thought I should know war no more. I began to be at ease in Zion, and forgot to watch and pray, till God laid his hand upon me again. I then again went mourning all the day long: till one Sunday, as I was going to Church, I stood like a condemned criminal before his judge, and said, "Lord, what am I going to Church for? I have nothing to bring or offer thee, but sin and a deceitful heart." I had no sooner spoke than my heart melted within me, and I cried earnestly to him for mercy, till my strength failed me, and it was with difficulty I could walk out of the room.

The next morning as I was going to water my horse, just as he entered the river, in a moment I felt the love of God flowing into my soul. Instantly all pain and sorrow