with me, though I was with them in weakness, fear, and much trembling. The next conference I was sent into Lincolnshire, where I met with many trials, having both the inward and outward cross to bear. Afterward I was near a year among the poor loving people at Colchester, and I hope my labour was not in vain. From thence I went to Bradforth, in Yorkshire, and the year following to Newcastle again. I had now a little more courage than when I was there before; and, I trust, was more useful to the people and from that time I have travelled with more satisfaction than ever I did before. : At present I find a thankful heart for the mercies of a gracious God, and desire to devote myself unreservedly to his service. Indeed it is comfortable to me to reflect, that "God is love;" that "he was in Christ reconciling the word unto himself;" that Christ Jesus "gave himself a ransom for all;" that "he tasted death for every man ;" that "he is the propitiation for the sins of the whole world:" and I have often wondered how any man of sense, who has tasted that the Lord is gracious, can use arguments in opposition to this. But as to the dispute concerning these points, I very seldom mention it in public: never, unless my subject naturally leads to it; and even then, I do it in as few and as calm words as possible: for I am quite convinced that a thousand exclamations and assertions, be they ever so vehemently delivered, will not amount to one argument on either side the question. But what I wish above all things is, that I may increase in the knowledge and love of God, and be more holy, happy, and useful every day of my life. Nevertheless, I am truly thankful for, and profited by the superior talents and labours of any of my brethren, who are more particularly called to explain and defend these glorious truths, which I have always believed. Upon the whole, as far as I know myself, I love the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity; and if he is pleased to continue to use, in any degree, me, his weak, unworthy creature, I shall be unfeignedly thankful, and hope to give him all the praise in time and in eternity. I am, Rev. and dear sir, as ever, your dutiful son and servant, THOMAS TENNANT. MR. WILLIAM HUNTER. TO THE REV. JOHN WESLEY. August 18, 1779. REV. AND DEAR SIR,-According to your desire, I take this opportunity to write a little of the dealings of God with me: but as I have not kept any account in writing, many things have slipped my mind. I was born in Northumberland, a little village near Placey, in the year 1728. I was put to school early, and taught to read the Scriptures from a child; but delighted most in the historical parts of them. I felt a degree of the fear of God when very young, and sweet drawings of love. But sometimes the thoughts of death were very dreadful to me, so that I felt very unhappy. I once dreamed that Satan came to me, and would have me: when I waked, I was full of fear, and prayed much that I might be delivered from him; and the impressions abode upon my mind for many days: but, as I had nobody to teach me the right way of coming to Christ, these good impressions gradually wore off. When I was about fourteen, my father being a farmer I was put to learn all the branches of farming. My father was very severe with me, and I dreaded him very much and yet I was often guilty of much disobedience against him; for which I have been much ashamed before the Lord. The first time you came to Placey, I, with several of my father's family, came to hear you some of my brothers were much taken with you, and, I trust, will have cause to bless God for it for ever. When I was about sixteen I heard Mr. Hopper: as soon as he began to speak, his words affected me deeply, not with terror, but with love: I had a taste of heaven it seemed as though I was created anew: there was a wonderful change in my tempers and conduct; I laid aside every thing that I thought was contrary to the will of God, and practised all religious duties. I attended preaching on all occasions, and felt much sweetness therein, and love to those that I believed were devoted to God. I went on in this way for : some time, till my companions began to take notice of me, and call me a Methodist. Some of them set upon me one Sunday, and cursed and swore bitterly at me, telling me I was going to leave the Church and the religion I was brought up in. This had a strange effect upon me; I gave way to them: they prevailed upon me to go to the alehouse: there I was overtaken by my old sins again. The Spirit of the Lord departed from me my heart became as hard as a stone. Darkness covered my mind again, and I was as senseless to the things of God as though I had never known any thing at all about them. I went on in this wretched state many months, living totally without God in the world. Through the advice of a young man I went to hear preaching again. A great light was communicated to my understanding by the word, and it pierced my conscience like a sword. I felt my inward parts to be very wickedness: all the sins of my life stared me in the face, and lay as a heavy burden upon my conscience. I roared for disquietness of heart, and wept and made supplication. I was convinced I could not help myself; that I could not do any thing to reconcile myself to God: and I had many fears lest the day of grace was past. O, the distress of soul I went through for many months! It was as though I had been forsaken of God, and hell was already begun in me. But the Lord was pleased to give me power over sin. I forsook every sinful way and all my sinful companions. I sought the Lord with all my heart in all the means of grace. I attended preaching on all occasions and read the Scriptures with great diligence: the way of salvation, revealed therein through Christ, was made clear to me; and I pleaded nothing but the merits of Christ for forgiveness. I often rose in the night to read and pray, and the language of my heart was,— If I ne'er find the sacred road, I'll perish crying out for God. I felt great love to the Methodists, especially to the preachers, as the servants of the most high God, sent to teach us the way of salvation. The people took notice of me, talked with me, and wished me to cast in my lot among them. I did so, though I did not think myself worthy and I bless God, I have never felt a desire to leave them since. I continued mourning after the Lord, and at length he heard my cry. One day, as I remember, I was reading in a book where the writer was answering that objection concerning the day of grace being past the Lord was pleased to send me deliverance; I found springing hope, and a sense of his goodness. How did I admire the love of God and the love of Jesus Christ to me! All my thoughts were swallowed up in heavenly contemplation: and I could truly say, "The Lord is my life and my salvation, whom shall I fear? Thine anger is turned away, and thou comfortest me." I now tried what the Spirit had wrought in me by the marks laid down in the Holy Scripture: and hence I found reason to believe that I belonged to Christ, and was a child of God. I made a free-will offering of all I had to be his for ever; and I thank him from the ground of my heart that I have been kept in the same mind to this day; though I have great cause to be ashamed that I have made no better improvement, and often mourn and weep on that account. When I had thus found the goodness of God to my own soul, I could not forbear speaking of it to others; and the Lord gave me wonderful light and courage in his blessed work. He helped me to reprove sin, wherever I met with it, with humility, meekness, and much prayer: yet without fearing the face of any man, though many said I was out of my mind, yea, and wished me out of the world. The Lord enabled me to set my face as a flint, and to bear a testimony for him wherever I went; and I was much blessed in so doing. There was a little town not far from ours, where I sometimes went, got a few poor people together, and talked to them about their souls. I often read the Scriptures to them, and sometimes made some remarks thereon. The Lord was pleased to bless my weak endeavours among them, so that a few of them gathered together, and the preacher joined them in a society, and put me in to be the leader. I met with many trials in this little way, and was often tempted to give it up; but I durst not. I used to travel far on the Lord's day to hear the word of God. If it happened the preacher did not come, I was pressed upon to give an exhortation to the people. This I frequently did, but I often went home distressed to the last degree, through a deep sense of my own unworthiness: yet it was not always so. At other times I was happy and lively, having strong evidence that I was doing the will of God. Meantime seve al of the preachers spoke to me about travelling but the importance of the work made me afraid; till in the year 1767, at the London conference, Mr. Rowel recommended me, and I was taken in upon trial. I was then appointed for the Barnard Castle circuit, and entered upon my work with great fear: there seemed many difficulties in my way however, I gave myself up to the Lord, and he was pleased to give me favour in the eyes of the people. Two years after I was stationed in Yarm circuit. I was afterward appointed to Barnard Castle circuit again, and God was pleased to bless my labours, with that of the other preachers. We had such a work of God in several parts of this circuit as I never saw. Hardly any thing of the kind in England hath exceeded it, both with regard to its swiftness and depth: the power of God bore down all before it, and it seemed as if God was about to convert all the world. After I left this circuit, I was placed at Hull, then at York, and afterward in the Scarborough circuit. We had a gracious increase of the work of God here; and I never found more enlargement of heart. We broke up much fresh ground, took in many new places, and many souls were converted to God. The last year you appointed me for the Thirsk circuit. This has been a year of trial, but the Lord has stood by me, and I am strengthened. What success I may have for time to come, I cannot tell. It is still my one desire to give myself wholly to the Lord, and to his blessed work. I wish to live to better purpose than I have yet done, to be more fruitful in his house and in the world. I am conscious of many defects in myself, and feel my need of Christ every moment. My soul hangs upon him, and I experience salvation from day to day and I trust he that has kept me till now will keep me to the end. Wishing you all peace and prosperity, I remain, Rev. and dear sir, your affectionate son in the Gospel of Christ, WILLIAM HUNTER. |