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A mock is due. Will you walk on, my lord?
She was belov'd, she lov'd; she is, and doth:
But, still, sweet love is food for fortune's tooth.

[Exeunt.

ACT V

SCENE I.—The Grecian Camp. Before Achilles' Tent. Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS.

ACHIL. I'll heat his blood with Greekish wine to-night, Which with my scimitar I'll cool to-morrow.—

Patroclus, let us feast him to the height.

PATR. Here comes Thersites.

ACHIL.

Enter THERSITES.

How now, thou core of envy?

Thou crusty batch of nature, what 's the news?

THER. Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and idol of idiot-worshippers, here's a letter for thee.

ACHIL. From whence, fragment?

THER. Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy.

PATR. Who keeps the tent now?

THER. The surgeon's box, or the patient's wound.

PATR. Well said, Adversity! and what need these tricks? THER. Prithee be silent, boy; I profit not by thy talk: thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.

PATR. Male varlet, you rogue! what's that?

THER. Why, his masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o' gravel i' the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirtrotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, lime-kilns i' the palm, incurable bone-ach, and the rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries!

PATR. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus ?

THER. Do I curse thee?

PATR. Why, no, you ruinous butt; you whoreson indistinguishable cur, no.

THER. No? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle immaterial skein of sley'd silk, thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pestered with such water-flies; diminutives of nature!

PATR. Out, gall!

THER. Finch egg!

ACHIL. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite
From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle.
Here is a letter from queen Hecuba;

A token from her daughter, my fair love;
Both taxing me, and gaging me to keep

An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it:
Fall, Greeks; fail, fame; honour, or go, or stay;
My major vow lies here, this I'll obey.
Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent;
This night in banqueting must all be spent.
Away, Patroclus.

[Exeunt ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. THER. With too much blood and too little brain, these two may run mad; but if with too much brain and too little blood they.do, I'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon,-an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails; but he has not so much brain as ear-wax: And the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, the primitive statue and oblique memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg, to what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an ox were nothing; he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care: but to be Menelaus, I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus.-Hey-day! spirits and fires!

Enter HECTOR, TROILUS, AJAX, AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES,
NESTOR, MENELAUS, and DIOMED, with lights,

AGAM. We go wrong, we go wrong.

AJAX.

There, where we see the lights.
HECT.

AJAX. No, not a whit.

ULYSS.

No, yonder 't is;

I trouble you.

Here comes himself to guide you.

Enter ACHILLES.

ACHIL. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes all.
AGAM. So now, fair prince of Troy, I bid good night.
Ajax commands the guard to tend on you.

HECT. Thanks, and good night, to the Greeks' general.
MEN. Good night, my lord.

HECT.

Good night, sweet lord Menelaus. THER. Sweet draught: Sweet, quoth 'a! sweet sink, sweet

sewer.

ACHIL. Good night, and welcome, both at once, to those

That go, or tarry.

AGAM. Good night.

[Exeunt AGAM. and MEN. ACHIL. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed,

Keep Hector company an hour or two,

Dio. I cannot, lord; I have important business, The tide whereof is now.- -Good night, great Hector. HECT. Give me your hand.

ULYSS.

Follow his torch, he goes

To Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company. [Aside to TROILUS, TRO. Sweet sir, you honour me.

HECT.

And so good night.

[Exit DIOMED; ULYSSES and TROILUS following.

ACHIL. Come, come, enter my tent.

[Exeunt ACHILLES, HECTOR, AJAX, and NESTOR. THER. That same Diomed 's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent when he hisses: he will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler the hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretell it that it is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun borrows of the moon when Diomed

keeps his word. I will rather leave to see Hector than not to dog him: they say he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after.-Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets!

[Exit.

SCENE II.-The same.

Before Calchas' Tent.

Enter DIOMEDES.

DIO. What, are you up here, ho? speak.

CAL. [Within.] Who calls?

DIO. Diomed.-Calchas, I think.-Where's your daughter?
CAL. [Within.] She comes to you.

Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance; after them
THERSITES.

ULYSS. Stand where the torch may not discover us.

Enter CRESSIDA.

TRO. Cressid comes forth to him.

DIO.

How now, my charge?

CRES. Now, my sweet guardian!-Hark! a word with you.

TRO. Yea, so familiar!

ULYSS. She will sing any man at first sight.

[Whispers.

THER. And any man may sing her, if he can take her cliff; she's noted.

Dio. Will you remember?

CRES.

DIO.

Remember? yes.

Nay, but do then;

And let your mind be coupled with your words.

TRO. What should she remember?

ULYSS. List!

CRES. Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to folly.
THER. Roguery!

DIO. Nay, then,—

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DIO. Pho! pho! come, tell a pin: You are a forswornCRES. In faith, I cannot: What would you have me do? THER. A juggling trick, to be secretly open.

Dio. What did you swear you would bestow on me?

CRES. I prithee, do not hold me to mine oath; Bid me do anything but that, sweet Greek.

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Dio. No, no, good night: I'll be your fool no more.
TRO. Thy better must.

CRES.

Hark! one word in your ear.

TRO. O plague and madness!

ULYSS. You are mov'd, prince; let us depart, I pray you, Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself

To wrathful terms; this place is dangerous;
The time right deadly; I beseech you, go.
TRO. Behold, I pray you!
ULYSS.
You flow to great distraction;
TRO. I pray thee, stay.

ULYSS.

TRO. I pray you, stay;

I will not speak a word.
Dio.

Nay, good my lord, go off:
come, my lord.

You have not patience; come.
by hell, and hell torments,

CRES. Nay, but you part in anger.

TRO.

O wither'd truth!

And so, good night.

Doth that grieve thee?

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DIO. Pho, pho! adieu; you palter.

CRES. In faith, I do not; come hither once again.

ULYSS. You shake, my lord, at something; will you go?

You will break out.

TRO.

ULYSS.

She strokes his cheek!

Come, come.

TRO. Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a word:

There is between my will and all offences

A guard of patience:-stay a little while.

THER. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump, and potato finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!

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