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THE DAFT DAYS,

[Corresponding in Scotland to Christmas holidays in England.]

Now mirk1 December's dowie 2 face

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Glowrs owr the rigs wi' sour grimace,
While, thro' his minimum of space,
The bleer-ey'd sun,

Wi' blinkin light and stealing pace,
His race doth run.

From naked groves nae birdie sings;
To shepherd's pipe nae hillock rings;
The breeze nae od'rous flavour brings
From Borean cave;

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And dwyning Nature droops her wings,
Wi' visage grave.

Mankind but scanty pleasure glean
Frae snawy hill or barren plain,
Whan Winter, 'midst his nipping train,
Wi' frozen spear,

Sends drift owr a' his bleak domain,

And guides the weir.

Auld Reikie! thou'rt the canty hole,
A bield for mony caldrife soul,
Wha snugly at thine ingle loll,

Baith warm and couth;

While round they gar the bicker' roll
To weet their mouth.

When merry Yule-day comes, I trow,
You'll scantlins find a hungry mou;
Sma' are our cares, our stamacks fou
O' gusty gear,

And kickshaws, strangers to our view,
Sin' fairn-year 10.

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I brewer.

Ye browster' wives! now busk ye bra,
And fling your sorrows far awa';
Then, come and gie's the tither blaw
Of reaming ale,

Mair precious than the Well of Spa,
Our hearts to heal.

Then, tho' at odds wi' a' the warl',
Amang oursells we'll never quarrel;
Tho' Discord gie a canker'd snarl
To spoil our glee,

As lang's there's pith into the barrel
We'll drink and 'gree.

Fiddlers your pins in temper fix,
And roset weel your fiddlesticks,
But banish vile Italian tricks

From out your quorum,

Nor fortes wi' pianos mix

Gie's Tullochgorum".

For nought can cheer the heart sae weel

As can a canty Highland reel;

It even vivifies the heel

To skip and dance:

Lifeless is he wha canna feel

Its influence.

Let mirth abound; let social cheer
Invest the dawning of the year;
Let blithesome innocence appear
To crown our joy;

Nor envy, wi' sarcastic sneer,

Our bliss destroy.

And thou, great god of aqua vitæ!

Wha sways the empire of this city-
When fou we're sometimes capernoity-
Be thou prepar'd

To hedge us frae that black banditti,

The City Guard.

2 Printed four years before Skinner's "Tullochgorum' (p. 491) 3 ill-tempered.

1 cover.

BRAID CLAITH.

Ye wha are fain to hae your name
Wrote in the bonny book of fame,
Let merit nae pretension claim

To laurel'd wreath,

But hap1 ye weel, baith back and wame,
In gude Braid Claith.

He that some ells o' this may fa'',
An' slae-black hat on pow like snaw,
Bids bauld to bear the gree5 awa',

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Wi' a' this graith",

Whan bienly clad wi' shell fu' braw
O' gude Braid Claith.

Waesuck for him wha has nae fek" o't!

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For he's a gowk they're sure to geck9 at,
A chield that ne'er will be respekit

While he draws breath,

Till his four quarters are bedeckit

Wi' gude Braid Claith.

On Sabbath-days the barber spark,
Whan he has done wi' scrapin wark,
Wi' siller broachie in his sark 10,
Gangs trigly, faith!

Or to the Meadow or the Park,

In gude Braid Claith.

Weel might ye trow, to see them there,
That they to shave your haffits 11 bare,
Or curl an' sleek a pickle hair,

Wud be right laith 12,

When pacing wi' a gawsy air 13
In gude Braid Claith.

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If ony mettled stirrah1 grien'
For favour frae a lady's ein,
He mauna care for being seen
Before he sheath

His body in a scabbard clean

O' gude Braid Claith.

For gin3 he comes wi' coat thread-bare,
A feg for him she winna care,

But crook her bony mou' fu' sair,

An' scald him baith.

Wooers shou'd ay their travel spare
Without Braid Claith.

Braid Claith lends fouk an unco heese'
Makes mony kail-worms butter-flies,
Gies mony a doctor his degrees

For little skaith":

In short, you may be what you please
Wi' gude Braid Claith.

For thof ye had as wise a snout on,
As Shakespeare or Sir Isaac Newton,
Your judgment fouk wud hae a doubt on,
I'll tak' my aith,

Till they cou'd see ye wi' a suit on
O' gude Braid Claith.

FROM CALLER Water.'

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Whan father Adie' first pat spade in
The bonny yeard of antient Eden
His amry had nae liquor laid in,
To fire his mou',

Nor did he thole his wife's upbraidir'

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A caller burn o' siller sheen,

Ran cannily out o'er the green,

And whan our gutcher's1 drouth had been
To bide right sair,

He loutit down and drank bedeen'

A dainty skair.

His bairns a' before the flood

Had langer tack o' flesh and blood,
And on mair pithy shanks they stood
Than Noah's line,

Wha still hae been a feckless brood
Wi' drinking wine.

The fuddlin' Bardies now-a-days
Rin maukin-mad in Bacchus' praise,
And limp and stoiter thro' their lays
Anacreontic,

While each his sea of wine displays
As big's the Pontic.

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My muse will no gang far frae hame,
Or scour a' airths to hound for fame;
In troth, the jillet' ye might blame

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For thinking on 't,
Whan eithly she can find the theme
Of aqua font.

This is the name that doctors use
Their patients' noddles to confuse;
Wi' simples clad in terms abstruse,
They labour still,
In kittle words to gar you roose 10
Their want o' skill.

But we'll hae nae sick clitter-clatter,
And briefly to expound the matter,
It shall be ca'd good Caller Water,
Than whilk, I trow,

Few drogs in doctors' shops are better

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