Voltaire. From eighteen to seventy-eight he was continually before the world as an author, and in all these years not one can be pointed out in which he did not add something considerable to the infidel and antichristian literature of Europe.' What a testimony! I am weary,' said he, shortly before his death, ‘of hearing it eternally said that twelve men were sufficient to establish Christianity—ere I die, I shall have proved that one man was sufficient to destroy it.' Vain, presumptuous fool! didst thou really think this?

In Bayle's Dictionary, that grand arsenal of all learning, wit, and wickedness, it is difficult to say which is the more prominent, scepticism or lubricity.

We were compelled, in 1808, to seize some Danish vessels lest they should fall into the hands of Napoleon. Accordingly an ambassador was sent to demand them of the Prince Royal. On his return to England, the King (George III.) abruptly asked him, 'Was the Prince Royal up-stairs or down when he received you?' 'On the groundfloor, your Majesty.' 'I am glad of it for your sake,' replied the king, 'for if he had half the spirit of George III. he would infallibly have knocked you down-stairs.' [This was probably at the time of the expedition to the Baltic, after the secret articles of the treaty of Tilsit had been divulged to the British Cabinet, which brought to light the plan of combining the fleets of Europe against England, the right wing of which tremendous armament was to consist of the Danish and Russian fleets.]

Sergeant Talfourd calls the miracle at Cana the divine miracle at which Teetotalism should stand aghast, as unchristian as it is unkindly.

Port Natal, so called from its having been discovered on Christmas, dies natalis Christi.

What two animals have got one leg between them? Two post-horses.

Sydney Smith.-Nature gave him wit and wisdom in nearly equal proportions. Critics have very generally ascribed to him only the former, as if in fact great wit were not great wisdom relaxed, 'holding both its sides' and edging its grave aphorisms with the silver lining of genial mirth. He had insight of amazing acuteness as well as wit of the purest grain. The mirth ever rolling

in his eyes never for a moment blinded him to the real merits of a question. Nay, he might be said to see in smiles. Through a lens of laughter he saw further than other men into the marrow of a subject. While they

were solemnly bending over books or topics their heavy brows, and trying to master them, he loosened their bands by the quick lightning of his wit, and as it were licked up their contents into his own mind. On the whole he was a rather awkward compound of the buffoon, politician, preacher, and litterateur-a half-divine and a whole diner-out. [That he rather mistook his profession will probably be conceded by his warmest admirers, when it is remembered that he once avowed his belief that 'the chief end of man was not to glorify God in any way, but to procure a sufficiency of roast mutton and madeira.']

It appears from the inquiries of Mr. Porter, a most competent authority, that the amount spent by the working classes of the United Kingdom every year in spirits, malt liquors, and tobacco, is upwards of 50,000,000l., that is to say, 'they waste annually as much as their employers annually save !'

Lord Erskine (who brought in a bill for preventing cruelty to animals in the Lords) once saw a fellow miserably ill-using a pack-horse. Lord Erskine strongly rebuking the man, the latter in anger discharged a fresh shower of blows on the back of the poor animal, remarking to Lord Erskine at the same time, 'It's my own, I suppose I may do what I like with it!' Upon this Lord Erskine with his walking-stick inflicts some good hard strokes on the fellow's shoulders. 'Why,' says the brute, 'what business have you to strike me with your stick?' 'It's my own,' said Lord Erskine, 'I may do what I like with my own!'

The island on which Robinson Crusoe was cast could not have been uninhabited. Why? Because there were swells on the beach and a little cove in the harbour.

Why is a five-pound note better than five sovereigns? Because it is doubled when you put it into your pocket, and increases when it comes out.

Epiphanius, Bishop of Salamis, gravely relates that many fountains and rivers were annually turned into wine on the same day and at the same time when our Saviour wrought His miracle in Cana.

The sentence is, that ye be hanged (said an Irish judge to a poor criminal), and I hope it may prove a warning to you.

A young clergyman once asked the Duke of Wellington whether he thought there was any use in preaching to the Hindoos. 'Sir,' replied the old General, 'what are your marching orders?" "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature." Mind your marching orders, sir.'

Fashionable footmen in London are hired by height and figure. The calves of the legs must be unexceptionable in size and shape. A gentleman who had just hired one of these lackeys, was surprised to find him not at his post at dinner. Inquiring the reason of the butler, he was told that the sham calves were not come home; the man of whom they had been ordered had such a quantity bespoke that he had disappointed him.

A negress of West Africa, who had been in the Church Missionary School at Sierra Leone, came over to England and remained in London some considerable time, seeing all the sights, &c. On returning to Africa she was narrowly questioned as to all she had seen, and then asked whether she was not sorry to return to Sierra Leone. 'No,' she replied, 'I was very glad to return.' 'Why so,' said the querist. Because,' said she, 'the Sabbath is so much better observed here than in London !'

There are persons who seem to wish to appear worse than they are. They talk against their consciences to show their parts, or to gain favour with the company they are in.

Bible.-From Byblus, a reed so called on which the Egyptians wrote.

Parchment. From Pergamos where it was invented. Ptolemy having forbidden the exportation of the papyrus from Egypt.

Baron Munchausen's frozen trumpet when it thawed at last, gave utterance to the pent-up music of months. Thus a conventional decorum keeps some men within bounds; but remove the restraint, and their natural tastes, habits and feelings, burst forth like the pent-up winds from the cavern of Æolus.

The collective evidence looks well enough; but unbind the faggot, try any separate stick, and the chances are it will snap.

One swallow will not make a summer out of doors; but one face invariably cheerful, one temper never ruffled, one heart always affectionate, makes summer in a house.

It is the early bird that catches the worm.

Seventeen twentieths of the cotton imported into England, which amount now to 7,000,000,000 lbs., come from America! With such a commercial bond as this between two such governments, what chance can there be of war? Will not selfishness alone plead for peace? It takes 250,000 barrels of flour to supply the starch for starching the fibres during spinning.

It takes two million pigs to supply the brushmakers of England with bristles, and these are chiefly supplied by Prussia and Russia.

The folds of snowy lawn that deck a bishop's arms, and the stout storm-sail that rides out the fiercest gale, are both the produce of the same plant-Flax.

'Well, my good woman, did you understand the sermon?' 'Weel, I hae the presumption,' was the reply. This woman's religion was one of form and habit; yet it may have been sincere and well-intentioned. Such, indeed, must be the religion of the mass.

Religion is a reverential feeling, not a certain amount of Scriptural information.

Time is short; if the cross is heavy, you have not long to bear it.