Determined to be more cautious. Took another look at my peach blossoms; found some gilt whist counters or markers amazingly like sovereigns. Called in little Levi, from clothes-shop at corner; showed him a whist marker, wrapped it up in paper, told him it was a new sovereign—that he might buy little Rachel a doll, a drum for his dear little brother Manasseh, (squinting beast,) and keep change for a book for himself. He ducked and grinned, like an epileptic monkey, and went on his way rejoicing. Thought I should have died! Said nothing to shopmen, because I wanted to catch Dick in revenge for the butter business. Wrapped up another whist marker in paper, and sent Dick to bankers' to get it changed for a country note, which I wanted to send away. Saw him set off on his fool's errand, and felt really

happy.

Had some wine mulled, drank half a glass, and, unperceived, filled up tumbler with brandy: gave it to cook to make peace. Told her to drink it up at once; it was only elder wine, and would do her good. Curtsied, and did as bid. She could not breathe for minutes, and tears came in her eyes. Laughed till they came in mine.

Went out to try my luck. Bargained with five hackney coachmen to take the parish officers and gentlemen of the vestry to a dinner at Norwood and back agreed for ten shillings each, and refreshment, and told them to be at vestry room door at two o'clock. Shall see them waiting out of my window. What a laugh we shall have! Asked an orange woman for a ripe cosmopolitan; said she had not called her an April fool, and walked on. Chuckled heard thunder growls in Irish behind me; flash of lightning came soon after thunder, as Irish lightning should do. Nice pancake of mud slap on left cheek, covering cravat and waistcoat with the fritters; peeped round with the eye that was not bunged up; saw second edition in a forward state. Bolted. Thought the joke was not so good as it might have been.

any

Went into coffee-house to refresh; wiped clean, turned cravat, and buttoned up coat. Singing sensation in left ear. Asked waiter for a glass of pimento; he went to bar and inquired for it. Master's compliments, and he did not know the wine. Afraid to say what I thought. Observed back door into bye-street; went out front way. hailed omnibus, and asked driver to wait five minutes for three gentlemen going to Paddington. He pulled up, I popped in coffee-house, and

popped out back door.

Saw seven fire engines about my house, with twenty police-men, and many other dangerous characters. Strange constable would not allow me to enter my own house, and said I looked like a thief. Called Sam porter as a witness to my identity. Sam pointed to his burnt eye, and swore he did not know me. Gave a crown to get by. Found the brandy had made cook drunk, and she had set the place on fire. All out and over. Wanted to turn the joke on firemen; said it was the first of April: tried to get up a laugh, but failed. Foremen of firemen showed the marks of flame, and got warm; demanded nine pounds, fifteen shillings, as expenses. Obliged to pay. Got rid of

* In London the first three engines that arrive at a fire are paid certain rewards, in proper ratio, which the housekeeper is compelled to reimburse, whether insured or otherwise.

Sonnet to Freedom.

411

them, and opened shop again. Found mob, ever willing to assist, had stolen a bag of Carolina rice, three loaves of fourteen-penny lump, and a tub of mustard. could not watch the property. Dick was gone on a fool's errand, and of course

Rather sick of my fun. Looked into till to see if it was all right; saw one of the whist markers in the gold drawer; found little Levi had come in while I was out, and asked change for the sovereign that Mr. Podger had so kindly given him in the morning. Youngest apprentice counted out the silver directly, thinking it all right. Did not laugh much this time. Looked out at shop door, trying to hum 'Begone dull care:' a friend asked me if indigo had fallen, I looked so blue. Saw the three interesting Levi's with my presents in their hands: thought of that worthy fellow, Herod, and longed for another massacre of the Innocents.

Two o'clock. Row at vestry-room door; all the hackney-coachmen in full feather. Pipps, the vestry clerk, and Snump, the beadle, in great agitation. I began to laugh again, when, just as the hubbub reached an interesting climax, saw Cox point me out to coachmen. Removal of row to my own door; completely identified, and forced to pay them five shillings each as a compromise.

Wondered on which side of my mouth I should laugh next. down to think seriously of something funny. Saw Dick come in with Sat banker's clerk and police officer: he had offered whist markers at the banker's, and they had given him in custody on a charge of smashing (passing bad money.) Cost me two more sovereigns to get rid of this.

No dinner to be had cook drunk abed, and kitchen full of soot and water. Cold beef from eating house-melancholy meal - every body looking knives and forks at me. home, draggle-tailed and disappointed. Gave me a congreve rocket Put shop to rights. Wife came sort of glance, and flounced up stairs. Dared not face her; went to tavern, and got tipsey. Slept all night upon steps of door neither wife, porter, prentices, nor cook would get up to let me in. Rheumatism for weeks in hips, hands, and head.

Mem. Do not think much of my day's amusement this year.

N. B.

SONNET TO FREEDOM.

AMBASSADRESS of God! methinks, from heaven,
I see thee stooping as on plumes of light:
Justice her falchion to thy hand hath given,
And shuddering despots tremble at the sight.
Oh! let the chain from every limb be riven!
Nations are arming
They shall be victors
-nerve them when they smite!
if a million falls,
A second million shall the gauntlet fling,
And make them banners of the martyrs' palls.
Thy glorious anthem, Freedom! yet shall ring
Where now Oppression goads his fettered thralls;
And o'er the broken thrones of many a king,
The marshalled myriads move beneath thy wing.

THE TREE OF LIFE.

'THE tree of life stood in the midst of the garden.'

AND is that tree now standing? Doth it wave
Its mighty branches of centurial years,
And lift in high supremacy its head,
As when in ages back it proudly rose
Amid the hush of Eden? Doth it bear
Within the outspread branches of its leaves,
That seraph-bread, that whosoe'er did eat,
Might live, when e'en old furrowed Time, himself
Should wear on his full brow a frosty crown?
It lives! how could it die? - the tree of life?
Yet what is it to us, poor feeble men,

If at its base, clad in the armor wrought
And tempered by the spirit, there are seen
(Like sleepless watchers o'er a priceless shrine,)
The heaven-born cherubims, with flaming swords,
Pointing, like God's own sceptre, every way?
Say, what is it to us? To stand as stood
The desert tribes of old, and view afar,
With thirst insatiate and wild desire,
The renovating fruit, and almost catch
The blessed breezes as they gently stir

Its yielding leaves, yet conscious that to us,
The fever'd ones- the altogether-sick

Of earth's impoverish'd food - it may not yield
Its golden feast and still, refreshing shade.

Dost thou ask

The fitting path unto the living prize?
Christ is that tree of life! His gospel marks
No narrow-sected road, for every where,
Its ripe seeds have been wafted, and its shade
Shelters alike the evil and the good.

Then linger not! but cleanse thy drooping soul
From the foul, sullying dust of this mean earth,
And shake off passion's fetters, and with nought
Within thy breast save the pure signet-ring
Of meek humility, press boldly on,

And thou shalt find that 'neath that saving tree,
Mercy and Justice have met hand in hand!

Charleston, (S. C.,) March, 1836.

M. E. L.

I CONCEIVE it a great plague to be one's own hero, and to be the describer in the first person singular of individual adventures. Those two great personages, Says He and Says I, are no particular favorites of mine. They are great draw-backs in these my sketches — for, reader, I am, at bottom, a modest and retiring man. Therefore should

I desire in papers like these, were it right practicable, to sink the personal, and expand into the general. Reflection convinces me, howbeit, that this would not do. be without form and void. No, — give me my way; let me disport as What I have to say, or to sketch, would then I will, and I warrant me there shall be something in what I write, which will warm the heart, or light the eye of him that reads me.

TALKING of a man's making a hero of himself, reminds me of an old friend of mine, who is fond of telling long stories about fights and quarrels that he has had in his day, and who always makes his hearer his opponent for the time, so as to give effect to what he is saying. Not long ago I met him on 'Change, at a business hour, when all the commercing multitudes of the city were together, and you could scarcely turn, for the people. The old fellow fixed his eye on me; there was a fatal fascination in it. Getting off without recognition, would have been unpardonable disrespect. ton-hole, and his rheumy optics glittering with the satisfaction of In a moment, his finger was in my butyour true bore, when he has met with an unresisting subject. I listened to his common-places with the utmost apparent satisfaction. Directly, he began to speak of an altercation which he once had with an officer in the navy. He was relating the particulars. Some words,' said he, occurred between him and me. younger man than I am in fact, about your age. Well, he made Now you know that he is a much use of an expression' which I did not exactly like. Says I to him, says I, 'What do you mean by that?' 'Why,' says he to me, says he, 'I mean just what I say.' Then I began to burn. There was an impromptu elevation of my personal dandruff, which was unaccountable. I did n't waste words on him: I just took him in this way' the old spooney suited the action to the word, by seizing the collar of (here my coat, before the assemblage,)-'and says I to him, says I, 'You infernal scoundrel, I will punish you for your insolence on the spot!'and the manner in which I shook him, (just in this way,) was really a warning to a person similarly situated.'

I felt myself at this moment in a beautiful predicament: in the midst of a large congregation of business people—an old gray-headed man hanging, with an indignant look, at my coat-collar and a host of persons looking on. The old fellow's face perceiving that he was observed, he lowered his voice in the detail, grew redder every minute; but while he lifted it in the worst places of his colloquy. You infernal scoundrel, and caitiff, and villain,' says I, 'what do you mean, to

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53

insult an elderly person like myself, in a public place like this?' — and then,' said he, lowering his malapropos voice, 'thenI shook him, so.' Here he pushed me to and fro, with his septuagenarian gripe on my collar, as if instead of a patient, much-bored friend, I was his deadly enemy. When he let go, I found myself in a ring of spectators. shame! to insult an old man like him!' was the general cry. Young puppy!' said an elderly merchant, whose good opinion was my heart's desire, what excuse have you for your conduct?'

Shame

Thus was I made a martyr to my good feelings. I have never recovered from the stigma of that interview. I have been pointed at in the street by persons who have said as I passed them, 'That's the young chap that insulted old General - at the Exchange!'

6

THIS same venerable gentleman once troubled me with his augur-ies, in the following manner. He accosted me, up town, a mile, I suppose, from the Exchange. My good friend,' he said, 'I wish you to go with me to the City Reading Room, and look at a contribution that I have published in one of the newspapers. I dare say it is open to criticism. Mind you, I am not a man of letters. I am doing a snug, winding-up business in my latter days and I cannot serve two masters.' I accompanied him: he sought out the paper file, and after much research, turned to the following:

'SHAD.

Now landing, several barrels of Shad. The barrels is new, and the shad are fresh. For sale by No. 85 street.'

'Now,' said he, will you tell me whether 'barrels is' is right? Don't you think I ought to have used the subjunctive mood in the future tense, and said the barrels are,' and cetera ? I do n't feel sure, myself— I just want your opinion. I know, you know; but I want to be positive.' I elucidated the matter to him as plainly as I could, and left himinly resolving, that if ever I saw him approaching me in the street again, I would take to my heels and run like an express, to get out of his way.

I SHOULD like to write a chapter on bores. There are distinct classes of them, and it requires a philosophical mind to furnish proper analyses of the varying genus. The man, for instance, who meets you going to bank, or to dinner, and begins to talk to you of matters and things in general, whereunto you are, for politeness' sake, compelled to listen what a plague he is, to be sure! He has no heart. He listens to the loquacity of your diaphragm with perfect composure, though it speak of wants unsatisfied, and viands in expectancy. He holdeth converse with nonentity; he keepeth you in suspense, by leaving his sentences unfinished; and he taxeth your imagination with wonders as to what the devil he will have to say next. You go home to a late and cold dinner, with your whole body in a state of grumbling dissatisfaction. You feel as if you could knock down your grandfather. In short, you feel as every man does, when he has been bored. It is an awful sensation.