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situation," and "the strictest secrecy," by applying at "No. 34, next door to the grocer's, in James Street, Gray's Inn Lane." "Education" tempts you in every shape; from Yorkshire," at "Sixteen guineas ayear," where there are no extras or vacations," and "Fare by the waggon,' only L.1, 12s., to-" Rus in Urbe !""Dr Dolittle's establishment"- "Grosvenor Place"-and Graduate of Cambridge," at "two hundred." And, if you turn to the next page, and have only the happiness to be insane, you will see that the "Tenderest attention" is paid to "Valetudinarians," at "Straight Waistcoat Lodge," between Somerstown and the Dust-grounds at Battle Bridge; "References of the first respectability" to persons who have been raving; and "Private families" accommodated with "keepers" upon reasonable terms, "by the day, week, month, or year."

And all these fierce competitors for preference, in their thousand and one peculiar occupations and capacities— the projector upon India government, and the improver upon India soy-the companies in Bridge Street, who think of nothing but assuring life, and the undertakers in Fleet Market, who thrive only upon its extinction-the draper, who founds himself entirely upon "Ten thousand pair of warm Witney blankets," and the perfumer, whose hope on this side the grave is only to ensure "Universal ease and comfort in shaving”—the patent penmaker, and the patent pin-maker-the mangle-maker, and the spangle-maker -the dealers in spring-guns, and in pop-guns perigord pies, and artificial eyes-sell you a mango, dance you a fandango-large Twelfth cakes, nobody but Farrance makes-Paris stays -raise the high-ways. These millions are but the few who court popularity, at a peculiar expense, and through one particular medium!

They are not the same as, but over and above, the decorators of the dead walls of the town, posts, obelisks, empty houses, and scaffoldings; who address themselves to the more busy crowd who have not time to read newspapers, and who can only pursue their researches, in pursuing their daily perambulations." Matrimonial joys" Suits for little boys" "Teach the deaf and dumb”—“Great reductions in brandy and rum""Man taken up on suspicion of steal

ing!"" Tooth pulled out by Mr Tugwell, without feeling""Portable gas' "Wild ass "Poison rats" -"Re-beavered hats"- "Clergyman's "New widow in great distress". crapes and poplins, for summer dress." There is no spot on earth, I believe, certainly none that ever I have visited, where a man can get all he wants, and with so little loss of time or asking for, as in London.

For the very thirst of gain, in fact, which makes us merciless and rapacious, completely ensures every one's getting his "money's worth," and in his own way, too, for his money. If you only want a ride that costs a shilling, you have a whole "stand" of hackney coachmen, threatening each other's lives which shall sell it to you. If you have ten miles to go into the country, the vehicle that carries you for half-a-crown, is, in truth, drawn and driven in a style ten times beyond the state of an Italian marquis. Would you dine?-from fifteen pence, to two guineas-in any quarter-in five minutes you have it on the table. If you want a coat, the fashion changes five times before you can determine which of the five hundred professors, who "unite elegance with economy" for "prompt payment," best deserves your attention. If you have a complaint, a thousand remedies-every one infallible-are published in all the shopwindows-nay, on men's backs about the streets-for your particular salvation. And, after they have killed you, which every one of them can do ten times over, so it is a matter of perfect indifference which you pitch upon, there is a fight between the Woodencoffin Company and the Iron, in which material you shall be buried.

Then come the modes in which these speculators conduct their pursuits, and which are little less miraculous, if there could be any wonder in what one sees every day, than their variety, or their numbers. One man makes himself a landed proprietor by curing corns; a second "purchases perpetually," because he grinds a thousand children annually into cotton stockings; a third only repeats a liethe same lie-a given number of times, and arises lord mayor. Falsehood, persisted in long enough-even those who know it is false cannot help dealing as if they believed it. They know it is a lie, but receive it as a metaphor, a figure, expressing not that

which it outwardly purports to express, but something else: as, for a familiar instance, the cries of fishwo"Live cod"-" Fresh salmon," men, &c. are understood to imply those commodities, not "live," or "fresh," but six weeks old. Thus, "Gervais Chardin-Parfumeur à la cloche d'argent-Rue St Martin, a Paris"that single individual has supplied half England with French pomatum for the last forty years-the cover never once changed-which all England all the while knows to have been manufactured in Tooley-street. Ten to one, nevertheless, if there are not many who would leave off buying that pomatum, if it were offered for sale as English, and with the real maker's name upon it.

Two other rogues, in the city, have been making a laughable experiment enough upon the force of truth, or puff, between them; and, I believe, the matter is to end in an application to the Court of Chancery; but, for the time, the impostor has carried the day. One of these people, who are both hair-dressers, and live opposite to each other, near the Exchange, isor was lately-thriving, by selling the fat of bears as a kind of cosmetic. The other (his neighbour), knowing that it was just as good to sell any other material in pots, with "Bear's Grease," for a label, as genuine bear's grease, immediately started with the same "pots," filled with an inexpensive unguent, in opposition. The true dealer, who keeps forty live bears in his cellar, and has himself taken up once a-week before the sitting alderman, as a nuisance, by way of advertisement, killed a bear upon this, hung him up whole in full sight in his shop, and wrote in the window, "A fresh bear killed this day!" The impostor, who had but one bear in all the world, which he privately led out of his house, after dark, every night, and brought him back (to seem like a new supply going in) in the morning, continued his sale, writing in his window, "Our fresh bear will be killed to-morrow." The original vender then -determined to cut off his rival's last shift-kept his actual bears, defunct, with the skins only half off, hanging up always at his door, proclaimed all bear's grease sold in "pots" a "vile imposture ;" and desired his customers to"walk in," and see theirs, with their own eyes, cut and weighed from

the animal." This seemed conclusive for two days; but, on the third, the opponent was again in the field, with a placard, "founded on the opinion of nine doctors of physic," that bear's grease "obtained from the animal in a tamed, or domestic state," would not "make anybody's hair grow at all." In consequence of which he "has formed an establishment in Russia, (where all the best bears come from,) for catching them wild, cutting the fat off immediately, and potting it down for London consumption." And the rogue actually ruins his antagonist, without going to the expense of a bear's-skin, by writing all over his house, "LICENSED BY THE IMPERIAL GOVERNMENT". CC HERE, AND ARCHANGEL."

AT

This is the state of man"-at least with us--or something very like it; but yet I doubt, whether such a scheme of toil and trouble is the best mode of getting through life, after all. The million born under such a system have no time to live; they labour for twenty-three hours in acquiring a certain quantity of wealth, which they dissipate in some folly-which perhaps, at last, they care as little as it deserves for in the twenty-fourth.

As, to be safe, we must be great, I admire the country-am proud of it; but it is too populous-too much a town throughout-there is too much free speaking, and far too little free footing in it, for my indolent, vagabond disposition to be pleased with.

From the Land's End to John o'Groat's, every inch of ground that a man walks upon, in England, must belong to himself or to somebody else. If you shoot, the poacher has ten times more true enjoyment of the chase than the lord can have; for what can you kill but that which is your own already, or that which your neighbour has reared, and paid for as fully as he does his turkeys? It is a poor apology for field sport, to breed pheasants, fed, and almost marked like cattle, at a cost of five guineas a-piece; and then get a party, on an appointed day, to sit in arm-chairs and slaughter them, a hundred upon an acre! There is no true hunting now in England, but the hunting of three per cents, and of men.

There is no spot where you may go and wander-(I can understand, if not defend, the Conqueror's making a forest in Hampshire !)-wander for

little to my poor half-tumble-down Quinta at Condeixa; with the delicious weather, (except the rainy season, certainly) and the solitude-and my fine gardens and the glorious woods and mountains which surrounded me

Where will you show your head in any corner of the kingdom, however remote, without finding some one lying in wait, open-mouthed, to devour you! I happened two days ago, to go upon business, into the White Horse Inn, in Friday-street, Cheapside; and, even there, I found a swindler of fashionable appearance, regularly ensconced, and living in the house-living in the atmosphere of Friday-street-should not thrift after this be blessing ?-ready to catch clothiers, and other innocents, as they arrived by the "heavy coach' in town.

And the lawful dealing is not much better!--the danger of being made a prey of-tickled, unsuspectingly, by some woman-they have a fine finger at such doings-is one of the little cares that haunt me now. It

is not the value of what is taken out of one's pocket, but the rage at being patted on the back while the pocket is picked. I am taking measures to have it understood here that I am poor, rather than otherwise; that the Edwards' estate was much dip ped; that my father's debts are at least double what, in fact, they are; and I wish everybody knows you are rich, and so you can't be worse off-I wish you would put it about that you have won a large sum from me at play.

I shall keep a small establishment in town-that I am fixed on. The house that I have taken in Park-lane is a nutshell. One chariot-and that shall serve for travelling, and all; nothing expensive but my horses-and, of those, not one running one, believe me.

And, after all, I am not quite sure that I don't sometimes look back a

observation !—that there was none to look at-none to comment on--or interfere with me. I could get on horseback with my gun, and my single servant, throw my reins on my horse's neck, as freely as though I had been a real knight-errant, roving in the desert; and it mattered not which way I went, for there was room enough to ride without harming any man's property; and, if I rambled to a village a dozen miles off, where a priest and a barber probably were the only trading characters, and neither of these, perhaps, had ever stirred, the one beyond his native hills, the other beyond his native province-if I came only where there was a farm-house, I was sure of a welcome-if where there was an apothecary, he was a man of science, and a traveller, especially a foreigner, was an important personage to himI had a chat-the news of the country -a supper and a mattress if I wouldand a promise to visit me, cheerfully, with all his family-half a dozen women, riding (as women should ride) upon asses-in return. And then, at home, there was my garden, my stable, and, if I made a vile noise with the guitar sometimes, no one took the trouble to laugh at me. And there was a game at chess, and a walk, and discussion upon faith, or miracles, or witchcraft, on the crops of the season, or the ravages of the war, with the Padre. I was a happier man, and a far more important one, with my limited income at Condeixa, (though I did now and then long for some change,) than I shall ever be again. I quitted my six years' residence with regret, and, I think, regretted, for I had the power of doing good very easily, and I did no great mischief, at least never any wantonly. If I were going back to-morrow, I would go only just as I was; no desire to return triumphant-splendour and insult, and all that detestable feeling, with which I am going to favour a few of my old acquaintances in this quarter of the world very shortly!

But this is over, and your "privacy" is but the darling nurse of false self-estimate and affectation neither.

I must bustle with the crowd, and find something to do in it, though, as to what, I find it easier to question than come to any satisfactory conclusion. There is a great change, I don't know whether you observe it, in the faces upon the pavé, since we were here together last. And, contrary to the natural progress of things, it is the young countenances chiefly that have disappeared.

Some of our coffee-room acquaintance have taken up, and married. One or two-they make a sad history altogether-have been taken up ; and narrowly escaped the other lot arranged for man by destiny. Several are literally beggared-starving in gaols and bridewells-whom I recollect, and you must recollect also, rioting in this very house. Some have married prostitutes, and eat the "allowances" of fools as gross, and blackguards almost as filthy, as themselves. Many rub on still, and contrive to be seen in the circle by a little game, where anybody will bet, and a little swindling, where anybody will trust. And some of the elder and stouter thrive by a sort of-seeing young gentlemen fairly through their property-lacqueying, bullying, and fighting, for the worst of the new beginners.

In truth, it would seem odd, I dare say, that a man should turn virtuous for such a currish reason as that other people chose to be knaves as well as himself; but I do begin to think, since I have been this time in London, that disrespectability is not so desirable as it used to be. With all the advantages which large means afford; and the greatest, as I take it, is the means they give of shutting out the world -of escaping always from the offence that a compulsory commixture with any class or portion of society reflects upon you-With all the power which they give of commanding this solitude; and, moreover, that constant leisure, which is almost worth the privacy-it is much! and, in England, wealth only can supply it-With all the means of having no such thing as an obligation upon one for years together; of pursuing any absurdity which whim, passion-no matter what-suggests, without hinderance or impediment; of finding all the petty inconveniences of life smoothed down to your hand-every knave meeting you with a delighted smile-you know he would cut your throat, if he could

but he can't-and, in the meantime the dog is so silken, and so obedient and that very same ready compliance which is intolerable in people whom one would desire to value, is so excellent in the minor ministers to comfort, from whom we only expect that they should do, without caring for the motive! In spite of all this inconvenience, I want something-in short, I have earned none of it-it does not flatter my vanity-I want a "character "—and I wish I had staid ten years ago with you in the army.

It is the very devil to be growing old as a person of no peculiarity; known only as Mr So and So, who has an estate worth" so much." Mixed up-and no resource with the crowd who lose money at Newmarket

belonging to the clubs-keep opera girls-drive good carriages-and might have sold soap and whipcord, instead of doing any of these things, if some one else had not acquired the means which they are worthlessly dissipating. I protest, I think there is not a footman who raises himself by his own works to any place, or estimation, who is not-in the mere scale of creation-an incomparably nobler thing than any of these drones, with whom I am in a fair way to be included.

And then, for the means of notoriety within the circle that endures us-what a circle it is, and what a notoriety when all is done! The wearing always a very particular dress-the uglier by far the better-riding in a particularly absurd vehicle; or being at play a particular dupe. Figuring in the eighteenth intrigue of a new actress-say it is the first after she becomes known in London-the former seventeen having occurred, without any figuring at all, when she travelled, by caravan, through the country, and had no more dream of

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settlement," or "equipage," than of being translated to the skies; or perhaps exposing a man's own person to be laughed at, at a shilling per head, on the stage at some watering-place, -(for in town the fear of pippins is before the eyes of rogues, and they don't venture)-doing that—and as a matter to be proud of-which would not produce thirty shillings a-week, if it were done as a matter of profit; and which, for fifteen, half the people at Bartlemy fair would do better, or would not be permitted to do at all!

Here's enough almost to drive a man into being "sober and honest." And I wish again, that I had staid in the army; or, that there could spring up another Waterloo, which a man might thrust his head into, and so gain a little reputation within ten days after the date of his commission; for, to stand as a soldier, in the presence of men who have fought twenty campaigns-that's worse even than obscurity. Something I'll soon attempt, that's certain; but whether to become a legislator-that's not a bad pursuit for a man to take up, who knows nothing of any pursuit all-or to commit some very unheard-of outrage, that people may say "That's Mr Edwards, who is suspected to have stolen Blackfriars'-bridge," when I come into a room-which I have not yet determined.

Absolutely, I am tired-if I could but escape from it-of mere worthlessness and futility; and when I meet men who make brilliant speecheswrite glorious books conduct nego

tiations or have seen the Russian campaign-I envy, and, what is worse, honour the caitiffs-to my own great personal disparagement and admitted disqualification.

All the feats that I ever did in my life-they are immeasurably great; but there are so very few I dare confess to: If anything should strike you, by which a man (with an easy leap) might achieve honour or dignity, mention it when you write again; for, or else, I shall be obliged to retire, as a country gentleman. Meantime, with thanks to the Lady Susan, for so far honouring me, I believe I know sufficient of the language to return her inclosure in a practicable state. If I might "advise," however-seeing she is resolved to patronise letters-a collection kept the wrong way-noting down the absurdities of people rather than their beauties, would be far more easily maintained than that which she proposes; and, I should think, more entertaining.

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