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“ fore like a mirrour, and take heed how you let it
fall, or how you soil it with your breath.”
4. A great officer in France was in danger to have lost his place; but his wife, by her suit and means making, made his peace; whereupon a pleasant fellow said, “ That he had been crushed, but that he “ saved himself upon his horns.”
5. His majesty said to his parliament at another time, finding there were some causeless jealousies sown amongst them; “ That the king and his people, “ whereof the parliament is the representative body, “ were as husband and wife; and therefore that of “ all other things jealousy was between them most “ pernicious.”
6. His majesty, when he thought his council might note in him some variety in businesses, though indeed he remained constant, would say, “ That the sun many “ times shineth watery; but it is not the sun which “ causeth it, but some cloud rising betwixt us and “ the sun : and when that is scattered, the sun is as “ it was, and comes to his former brightness.”
7. His majesty, in his answer to the book of the cardinal of Evereux, who had in a grave argument of divinity sprinkled many witty ornaments of poesy and humanity, saith ; " That these flowers were like “ blue, and yellow, and red flowers in the corn, which “ make a pleasant shew to those that look on, but " they hurt the corn.”
8. Sir Edward Coke being vehement against the two provincial councils of Wales, and the north, said to the king; “ There was nothing there but a kind “ of confusion and hotch-potch of justice: one while " they were a star-chamber; another while a king's6 bench; another, a common-pleas; another, a com. “ mission of oyer and terminer.” His majesty answered; “ Why, Sir Edward Coke, they be like “ houses in progress, where I have not, nor can have, “ such distinct rooms of state, as I have here at “ Whitehall, or at Hampton-court.”
9. The commissioners of the treasury moved the king, for the relief of his estate, to disafforest some forests of his, explaining themselves of such forests as lay out of the way, not near any of the king's houses, nor in the course of his progress; whereof he should never have use nor pleasure. “ Why,” saith the king, “ do you think that Solomon had use and pleasure 66 of all his three hundred concubines ?”
10. His majesty, when the committees of both houses of parliament presented unto him the instrument of union of England and Scotland, was merry with them; and amongst other pleasant speeches, shewed unto them the laird of Lawreston, a Scotchman, who was the tallest and greatest man that was to be seen, and said, “ Well, now we are all one, yet
none of you will say, but here is one Scotchman “ greater than any Englishman;" which was an ambiguous speech; but it was thought he meant it of himself.
11. His majesty would say to the lords of his council, when they sat upon any great matter, and came from council in to him, “ Well, you have sat, , “ but what have you hatched ?
12. When the archduke did raise his siege from the Grave, the then secretary came to queen Elizabeth. The queen, having first intelligence thereof, said to the secretary, “ Wot you what? The archduke has risen from the Grave.” He answered, “ What, with“ out the trumpet of the archangel ?” The queen replied, “ Yes, without the sound of trumpet.”
13. Queen Elizabeth was importuned much by my lord of Essex, to supply divers great offices that had been long void ; the queen answered nothing to the matter ; but rose up on the sudden, and said ; “ I am sure my office will not be long void.” And yet at that time there was much speech of troubles, and divisions about the crown, to be after her decease; but they all vanished; and king James came in, in a profound peace.
14. The council did make remonstrance unto queen Elizabeth of the continual conspiracies against her life; and namely, that a man was lately taken, who stood ready in a very dangerous and suspicious man
ner to do the deed : and they shewed her the weapon wherewith he thought to have acted it. And therefore they advised her that she should go less abroad to take the air, weakly attended, as she used. But the queen answered; “ That she had rather be dead, " than put in custody."
15. The lady Paget, that was very private with queen Elizabeth, declared herself much against the match with Monsieur. After Monsieur's death, the queen took extreme grief, at least as she made shew, and kept in within her bed-chamber and one antechamber for three weeks space, in token of mourning: at last she came forth into the privy-chamber, and admitted her ladies to have access unto her; and amongst the rest my lady Paget presented herself, and came to her with a smiling countenance. The queen bent her brows, and seemed to be highly displeased, and said to her, “ Madam, you are not ignorant of
my extreme grief, and do you come to me with a
countenance of joy?” My lady Paget answered, “ Alas, if it please your majesty, it is impossible for
me to be absent from you three weeks, but that “ when I see you, I must look cheerfully.” “ No, no," said the queen, not forgetting her former averseness to the match,“ you have some other conceit in it, “ tell me plainly.” My lady answered, " I must
obey you ; it is this. I was thinking how happy your majesty was, you married not Monsieur; for
seeing you take such thought for his death, being 66 but your friend; if he had been your husband, sure 6 it would have cost you your life." :- 16. Henry the Fourth of France his queen was young with child; count Soissons, that had his expectation upon the crown, when it was twice or thrice thought that the queen was with child before, said to some of his friends, “ That it was but with a “ pillow.” This had someways come to the king's ear; who kept it till such time as the queen waxed great : then he called the count of Soissons to him, and said, laying his hand upon the queen’s belly ;.“ Come, “ cousin, is this a pillow ?"-The count of Soissons
answered, “ Yes, sir, it is a pillow for all France to sleep upon."
17. King Henry the Fourth of France was so punctual of his word, after it was once passed, that they called him, “ The king of the faith.” .
18. The said king Henry the Fourth was moved by his Parliament to a war against the Protestants : he answered, “ Yes, I mean it; I will make every one “ of you captains; you shall have companies assigned
you.” The parliament observing whereunto his speech tended, gave over, and deserted his motion.
19. Queen Elizabeth was wont to say, upon the commission of sales, “ That the commissioners used “ her like strawberry wives, that laid two or three
great strawberries at the mouth of their pot, and “ all the rest were little ones; so they made her two
or three good prizes of the first particulars, but fell straightways."
20. Queen Elizabeth used to say of her instructions to great officers, “ That they were like to
garments, strait at the first putting on, but did by “ and by wear loose enough.”
21. A great officer at court, when my lord of Essex was first in trouble; and that he and those that dealt for him would talk much of my lord's friends, and of his enemies, answered to one of them, “ I will tell
you, I know but one friend and one enemy my lord hath, and that one friend is the queen, and that one enemy is himself."
22. The book for deposing king Richard the Second, and the coming in of Henry the Fourth, supposed to be written by doctor Hayward, who was committed to the Tower for it, had much incensed queen Elizabeth; and she asked Mr. Bacon, being then of her counsel learned, “ Whether there were
any treason contained in it?” Who intending to do him a pleasure, and to take off the queen's bitterness with a merry conceit, answered, “ No, madam, “ for treason I cannot deliver opinion that there is
any, but very much felony.” The queen, apprehending it gladly, asked, 6 How ? and wherein ?"
Mr. Bacon answered, “ Because he had stolen many “ of his sentences and conceits out of Cornelius « Tacitus."
23. Queen Elizabeth being to resolve upon a great officer, and being by some, that canvassed for others, put in some doubt of that person whom she meant to advance, called for Mr. Bacon, and told him, “ She
was like one with a lanthorn seeking a man;" and seemed unsatisfied in the choice she had of a man for that place. Mr. Bacon answered her, “ That “ he had heard that in old time there was usually
painted on the church walls the day of doom, and “ God sitting in judgment, and St. Michael by him, “ with a pair of balances ; and the soul and the
good deeds in the one balance, and the faults and
the evil deeds in the other: and the soul's ba“ lance went up far too light. Then was our lady
painted with a great pair of beads, who cast them " into the light balance, and brought down the scale :
so, he said, place and authority, which were in her majesty's hands to give, were like our lady's beads, which though men, through any imperfections,
were too light before, yet when they were cast in, " made weight competent.
24. Queen Elizabeth was dilatory enough in suits, of her own nature; and the lord treasurer Burleigh, being a wise man, and willing therein to feed her humour, would say to her; “Madam, you do well to “ let suitors stay; for I shall tell you, bis dat, qui cito " dat; if you grant them speedily, they will come * again the sooner."
25, Sir Nicholas Bacon, who was keeper of the great seal of England, when queen Elizabeth in her progress came to his house at Gorhambury, and said to him, “ My lord, what a little house have you got“ ten!” answered her, “Madam, my house is well,
but it is you that have made me too great for my " house."
26. There was a conference in parliament between the lords house and the house of commons, about a bill of accountants, which came down from the lords