VARIETIES. A provincial went to a bookseller's store, and inquired for Mr. B's last work. "Which of them do you want?" said the bookseller. "We have his Discourses and his Thoughts." "Are they not the same?" "Certainly not, sir." "In that case," replied the countryman, "I will neither buy the one nor the other. I don't like this difference between what one thinks and what one says." Novel Match-Making.-At Voronesh, one of the great Russian provincial criminal depots, whence convicts are periodically conveyed in batches to the different penal settlements of the Empire, the unmarried State prisoners of both sexes have recently developed a surprising predilection for the matrimonial state. The phenomenon is attributable to the fact that the Russian Government permits married convicts, under sentence of hard labor, to settle in Saghalien, a locality in many respects preferable to Siberia. As, how. ever, those desirous of qualifying themselves for the enjoyment of this privilege are only allowed to select their future life companions from among their fellow-criminals, some quaint alliances have resulted from the benevolent disposi tions in question. For instance, a military homicide, condemned to twenty years' penal servitude for slaying his su A Remarkable Dog.-A blind beggar was in the habit, come years since, of frequenting the Pont des Sts. Peres, where he used to station himself with a clarionet and a very intelligent poodle. The place was well chosen, and charitable contributions poured into the little wooden bowl which the dog held in its mouth. One day the blind man, who had reached an advanced age, was not to be seen. He had fallen ill, in fact, and was unable to pursue his avocation.perior officer on the parade ground, was only the other day His faithful companion, however, continued to frequent the accustomed spot, and the passers-by, to whom he was familiar, understood that his master was unwell, and touched by his fidelity, dropped their pence into his bowl in increased numbers. After a while the beggar went the way of all fleshan event which the wily poodle carefully kept to himself until he also became an absentee from the Pont des Sts. Peres. His disappearance produced a great sensation among his numerous patrons, and a search was prosecuted, when the poor animal was found lying dead in a cellar near his former master's abode, a sum of 29,000 francs in bonds of the Orleans Railway being discovered under the litter on which he was stretched. Advertising by the Ancients.—The Romans largely advertised private as well as public matters, and by writing as well as by word of mouth. They had their præcones, or criers, who not only had their public duties, but announced the time, place, and conditions of sale, and cried things lost. Hawkers cried their own goods. Thus Cicero, speaks of one who cried figs: Cauneas clamitabat ("he cried out, Figs!") But the Romans also advertised, in a stricter sense of the term, by writing. The bills were called libelli, and were used for advertising sales of estates, for absconding debtors, and for things lost or found. The advertisements were often written on tablets, which were affixed to pillars. On the walls of Pompeii have been discovered various advertisements: "There will be a dedication or formal opening of baths. The company attending are promised slaughter, of wild beasts, athletic games, perfume sprinkling, and awnings to keep off the sun." One other mode of public announcement employed by the Romans should be mentioned, and that was by signs suspended or painted on the wall. Thus a suspended shield served as a sign of a tavern; and nuisances were prohibited by a painting of two sacred serpents. Advertisements in newspapers, as now published, were not general in England until the commencement of the eighteenth century. united to a muscular dame who, a short time previously, had become a widow by her own act, having previously split her first husband's head open with a hatchet. The antecedents of this happy pair scarcely promise long duration to their respective existences. They probably deem a short and merry life of wedlock in Saghalien more desirable than the attainment of celibate old age in Siberia. A Story of an Umbrella.-The Nachrichten of Basle tells a story which may give the bold purchaser a hint of a new method of protecting himself against fraudulent shopkeepers. A young gentleman bought a silk umbrella from an umbrella dealer, indefinitely characterized as C-. The next day was rainy. The umbrella was put into use, but the silk tore in six places during the first hour of its contact with the rain. The purchaser went straight to the shop, exhibited the ruined article, and demanded a sound one in its stead. C's silk umbrellas, however, were made to sell, not to endure use. The dealer smiled politely, and observed that purchasers ought to be careful when they made their selection. The young man took home his umbrella, painted around it the following inscription in big letters, "This is how an umbrella looks to-day which was bought at C-'s shop yesterday," and hired a commissionaire to walk to and fro before C-'s shop with the opened umbrella for a whole day. This unusual form of advertisement naturally irritated Herr C, and could not have been without a deterring influence upon possible customers. C sent for the police, and asked them to arrest the bearer of the umbrella, but they declared they could see no legal crime in the commissionaire's proceeding, and declined to take him off to jail. Early next morning the imperturbable umbrella carrier appeared again, and he kept sentinel in this manner in front of C's shop for nearly a week. At the end of this period, the shopkeeper saw that he must give way, and calling the man, asked him to go to his employer and say that everything should be settled according to his wishes. When the bold Express Freight.-A boy eleven years old was received, per express, from Texas a few days ago. He had been regularly shipped and was marked, as other goods would be, to the consignee, entered on the way-bill and manifested as freight, and as such, passed from one express messenger to another. The only difference was that the living package had a baggage check, some money, and a ticket over the road. When he desired food the messenger took sufficient money to pay for it from the package, and charged it on a bill that was in the package. A Model Housewife.-Miss Braddon (Mrs. Maxwell), whose novels have shown such steady growth and fine power, is a notable housewife, and composes her intricate plots while going about her duties, subject to the interruptions of butcher and baker and candle-stick-maker. She is not handsome, and resembles George Eliot. Draw it Mild-An Englishman says that no other people in the world, so far as he knows, can equal the Arkansans in off hand exaggerations. Do you see that spring over there, stranger?" said one of them to him. He said he did, whereupon the settler ad led: "Well, that's an iron spring, that is, and its so mighty powerful that the farmers' horses about here that drink the water of it never have to be shod. The shoes just grow on their feet nat'rally." In a paper on the origin of the plow, Dr. Tylor states that the first agricultural implement seems to have been a pointed stick four or five feet long, such as many savage tribes still carry for the purpose of digging roots, knocking down fruits and unearthing animals. At a later day the stick was bent and used as a hoe, the point being hardened by fire. In the southern part of Sweden large tracts of land give evidence of early cultivation, which is attributed to a prehistoric people called by the natives "the hackers," who are always associated with the giants of mythology, and whose rude hoe was a fir pole with a short projecting branch. There came into use afterwards a larger in-trument of the same kind, which was not used like the hoe, but dragged by men or oxen, Instances of this are to be found in old Egyptian pictures and bas-reliefs, and it was probably the primitive idea of the plow, which is of prehistoric origin, evidences being found of its early use among the Greeks, Egyptians and Chinese. It had from the earliest times a religious sanction. The next improvement was a wooden hook shod with iron; and in the time of Virgil a wheeled plow was in use which differed but little from the best in Europe a century ago. Do as You're Told. When young Jeff first came up to town, his father told him that it would be polite when being helped at dinner, to say to the host, "Half that, if you please." It so happened that at the first dinner to which he was invited, a sucking pig was one of the dishes. The host, pointing with his knife to the young porker, asked, “Well, Mr. Jeff, will you have this, our favorite dish, or haunch of mutton?" Upon which, recollecting his first lesson, he replied, Half that, if you please," to the consternation of all present. 44 Tit for Tat.-The late Dr. Bethune asked a morose and miserly man how he was getting along. The man replied: "What business is that of yours?" Said the doctor: "Oh, sir, I am one of those who take an interest even in the meanest of God's creatures." The Wrong Leg.-There was an eminent sergeant-atlaw some years ago who had a cork leg that was a triumph of artistic deception. None but his intimates knew for cer tain which was the real and which was the wrong leg. A wild young wag of the "upper bar," who knew the sergeant pretty well, once thought to utilize this knowledge of the sergeant's secret to take in a green, newly-fledged young barrister. The sergeant was addressing a special jury at Westminster, in his usual earnest and vehement style, and the wag whispered to his neighbor, "You see how hot old Buzfuz is over his case; I'll bet you a sovereign I'll run this pin into his leg up to the head, and he'll never notice it; he's so absorbed in his case. He's a most extraordinary man in that way." This was more than the greenhorn could swallow, so he took the bet. The wag took a large pin from his waistcoat, and leaning forward drove it up to the head into the sergeant's leg. A yell that froze the blood of all who heard it, that made the hair of the jury stand on end and almost caused the judge's wig to fall off, ran through the court. "By jove! it's the wrong leg, and I've lost my money," exclaimed the dismayed and consciencestricken wag, quite regardless of the pain he had inflicted upon the sergeant. "See here, Georgie," said a fond mamma to her little son, as they walked on the beach, "what a lot of nice little round stones." "Yes," grumbled Georgie, as he cast a searching glance around, "and not a blessed thing to throw 'em at!" SUNBEAMS first shining on shores of the sea, This lovely sea city, a sweet paragon. "To the seashore !" was the verdict after due consultation between wife and I one warm sultry day this summer, and no sooner had it been decided than we were earnestly engaged in preparation for the trip. The usual first step in such matters is to hunt up a time-table and guide-book, in order to lay out route, and to ascertain which train you would be the least likely to miss! Well, after attending to this very important matter, the order stood as follows, "Take Vine Street Ferry, it being nearer than the Shackamaxon Street Ferry, and see that you get there in time for the express!" Good fortune for once attended us, and we are VOL. XV.-21 promptly on time. We go on board the ferryboat "Atlantic," which with the "Cooper's Point," are the largest and best built boats on the Delaware of their class, and, though not of the tinseled order, ably vie with the New York ferrycraft, in steadiness and speed. Crossing over the upper bar, which lies midway of the stream, we have a commanding view of the Delaware, with its long line of warehouses and shipping, while cooling breezes are playing about us, affording a refreshing relief from the sweltering heat of the city, and giving us a pleasant foretaste of the delightful airs that make their home by the sea. Arrived at Camden, we step on board of the lightning express of the Camden and Atlantic Road, and comfortably settling ourselves in an elegant parlor car, are soon steaming onwards towards the "City by the Sea," which we reach in the remarkably short time of eighty minutes. The reader will no doubt esteem this as rapid transit, taking into consideration the fact that the distance is some sixty miles; but there need be no scruples as to safety on this line. Every necessary precaution is taken by the officers against any possibility of accident, and the fact that none has ever happened upon this road, is a perfect assurance of the untiring vigilance maintained by its management. The road passes through a very delightful section of country, and along its line are many plea of the seaside resorts through which they run, with the enjoyment of a few health-giving dips in seawater and whiffs of sea air; but the allurements of Atlantic City overruled this intention, and we were induced to stay. We might say, that our better half had a very great deal to do with influencing our decision in this matter. Her judg ment upon some things are, we are compelled to admit, far superior to our own. Her idea was, decidedly expressed, that we should choose Atlantic City for our tarrying place in pre-" ference to all others. "Why," said she, "you can run up to your office in such very little time with so much comfort, and enjoy the exhilarat. ing influence of a dash through sixty miles of pure country air, and then run down again any time in the day to enjoy the beneficial effects of the surf, sea air, and the first-class comforts of an elegant hotel." And in this sant villages, she was not only right, but also touched upon the such as Had- point which commends this place most favorably donfield, Win- to the citizens of Philadelphia as a grand sanislow, Ham- tarium as well as pleasure resort. monton, Egg Harbor City, etc. These are rapidly being developed, under the fostering enterprise of the road; a very commendable trait by the way, and one in happy contrast with the parsimonious policy exhibited by so many other like corpora tions. Atlantic City, considered in point of the population it contains on excursion days during the summer season, is probably the largest seaside resort in the world. Its many attractions, and especially its commanding position, with a beach unrivalled by any on the coast, form a feature in the summer life of our people that few care to dispense with even for a day. We had intended to hurry through, by the connections which this road makes, to New York via the New Jersey Southern and New Jersey Central Railroads, taking in our route a short stay at some Touching the many fascinations which this favorite resort offers to the public, we quote from the pen of a gentleman who seems to have more closely studied them than ourselves, and more in detail. First, as to its geographical situation, he says: "Stretching along an island nine miles in length, and from a few hundred feet to a mile in width, which is separated from the mainland by a Strait called the 'Neck' or Thoroughfare, and built upon a hard, firm soil, Atlantic City has an unrivalled ocean frontage, with splendid bathing facil ities, smooth and level roads for driving, and in the Thoroughfare and bays a placid lake for fishing and boating unequalled on the coast." And in speaking of its salubrity and other attractions, he further says: "The pleasures of surf bathing carry, of course, a great multitude to Atlantic City, and it is pro- Atlantic City is par excellence the place for yachting and fishing. The Inlet, which is one of the most popular points on the Island, and boasts of a handsome pavilion, the property of the Camden and Atlantic Railroad Company, is the favorite resort of lovers of those twin sports. A large fleet of handsome yachts are always riding at anchor in waiting for parties desirous of a sail over the bright waters, or of indulging in that exciting sport, deep sea fishing. The water is fairly alive with game fish-such as sea bass, flounder, snapping mackerel, blue fish, and kindred varieties. The most delicious oysters are to be had here, Thoroughfare, which is as smooth a piece of water as a mountain-locked lake, with many picturesque fresh from their native beds, and with an appetiz- | surroundings, is another favorite resort, especially ing flavor unknown to one who has never eaten of the ladies. It abounds in crabs, which are them before the moss on their shells is dry. The caught in great numbers. |