THE LIFE

OF

MR. JOHN HAIME.

WRITTEN BY HIMSELF.

1. I was born at Shaftesbury, Dorsetshire, in 1710. My father followed gardening, and brought me up to the same employment for several years; but I did not like it, and longed for some business that would allow me more liberty. In the mean time, I was very undutiful to my parents, and much given to cursing, swearing, lying, and Sabbathbreaking: but I was not easy in these ungodly practices, being often afraid that the devil would carry me away.

2. I was then placed with my uncle to learn to make buttons. I liked this well at first, but was

but

soon tired of it. However, I stayed out the year; my uncle then removing to Blandford, I was out of business. I wrought in many places, but stayed in none; being like the troubled sea, that cannot rest. After some time, I went to my uncle at Blandford, and wrought with him about a quarter of

cannot tell. Perhaps I shall do nothing, after all my expense and trouble, except that of getting a few fair promises of amendment from my brothers, which may last while I am on the spot.

"Your affectionate and obliged friend,

"PETER JACO."

THE LIFE

OF

MR. JOHN HAIME.

WRITTEN BY HIMSELF.

1. I was born at Shaftesbury, Dorsetshire, in 1710. My father followed gardening, and brought me up to the same employment for several years; but I did not like it, and longed for some business that would allow me more liberty. In the mean time, I was very undutiful to my parents, and much given to cursing, swearing, lying, and Sabbathbreaking: but I was not easy in these ungodly practices, being often afraid that the devil would carry me away.

2. I was then placed with my uncle to learn to make buttons. I liked this well at first, but was soon tired of it. However, I stayed out the year; but my uncle then removing to Blandford, I was out of business. I wrought in many places, but stayed in none; being like the troubled sea, that cannot rest. After some time, I went to my uncle at Blandford, and wrought with him about a quarter of

a year. But still I found no satisfaction in any. thing, neither in working, eating, drinking, nor sleeping; though neither I myself, nor any of my acquaintance, could imagine what was the matter with me.

3. Some time after, as I was working alone, the devil broke in upon me with reasonings, concerning the being of a God, till my senses were almost gone. He then so strongly tempted me to blaspheme God, that I could not withstand. He then told me, "Thou art inevitably damned:" and I readily believed him; for I thought, Though I have not cursed God outwardly, yet He looketh at the heart. This consideration made me sink into despair, as a stone in the mighty waters.

4. I now began to wander about at the river-side, and through woods and solitary places, looking up to heaven with many times a heart ready to break, thinking I had no part there. I thought every one happy but myself; the devil continually telling me, there was no mercy for me. Yet I thought it was hard to be banished for ever from the presence of a merciful God. I cried to Him for help, but I found no relief: it seemed to be all in vain; so I said, like the men of Judah, "There is no hope;" and then gave the reins to my evil desires; not caring which end went foremost, but giving myself up again to wicked company, and all their evil ways.

5. If at any time I grew uneasy again, I stifled it by drinking, swearing, card-playing, lewdness, and the like works of darkness, which I then pursued with all greediness. I was hastening on to eternal destruction, when the great tremendous God met me as a lion in the way; and His Holy Spirit, whom I had been so long grieving, returned with greater

force than ever. I had no rest day or night. I was afraid to go to bed, lest the devil should fetch me away before morning. I was afraid to shut my eyes, lest I should awake in hell. I was terrified when asleep, sometimes dreaming that many devils were in the room, ready to take me away; sometimes, that the world was at an end, and that I was not ready to appear before the Judge of quick and dead. At other times, I thought I saw the world on fire, and the wicked left to burn therein, with myself among them; and when I awoke, my senses were almost gone.

6. I was often on the point of destroying myself; and was stopped I know not how. Then did I weep bitterly; I mourned like a dove; I chattered like a swallow. But I thought, Though my anguish is very great, it is not like those that are lifting up their eyes in torments. Then, for a few moments, I felt thankfulness to God. But still the thoughts of death and judgment followed me closely for upwards of two years, till all my bodily strength was gone. Returning home one day, and sitting down in a chair, my mother, observing my pale look and low voice, asked, "What is the matter with you?" but I durst not tell her; so I turned it off.

7. One night as I was going to bed, I durst not lie down without prayer. So, falling upon my knees, I began to consider, "What can I pray for? I have neither the will nor the power to do anything good." Then it darted into my mind, "I will not pray, neither will I be beholden to God for mercy." I arose from my knees without prayer, and laid me down; but not in peace. I never had such a night before. I was as if my very body had been in a fire; and I had a hell in my conscience. I was tho