Only a few weeks ago, the "Thunderer," under its "Wants" advertised for "a nurse in a small gentleman's family." The size of the gentleman might, probably, be esteemed a matter worthy of mention, as female servants nowadays, even in Old England, are growing dainty. The nuisance in this country, so long endured without complaint, has at length grown to such proportions that the press, with its ten thousand tongues, has condescended to come to the aid of the persecuted housekeeper. And even the advertising column is sometimes used to contain a piece of wholesome satire hitting at the domestic evil. The New Haven Palladium lately published the following:

WANTED TO HIRE-A lady, having a pleasant home,

no incumbrances but a husband and one child, wishes to place herself at the disposal of some servant who can come well recommended from her last place. She would prefer one who would be willing to remain within doors at least five minutes after the work is finished. She would also stipulate for the privilege of going to church herself once ench Sunday, having been compelled to refuse the last applicant, who was not willing to allow her but half a day once a fortnight. Wages satisfactory, if under $10 a week. She is deeply conscious of the utter inability of ladies in general to comply with the present demands of servants, but she hopes by strict attention to please in all respects. The best of references can be given; also, a good recommend from one who has now left her to the fate of many housekeepers. Please apply before 6 A.M.

While on the subject of servants, among the many curiosities with which the advertising columns of the London Times are daily studded, we do not remember to have ever met with so splendid an effort as the following, which appeared recently:

DO YOU WANT A SERVANT?-Necessity prompts the question. The advertiser offers his services to any lady or gentleman, company, or others, in want of a truly faithful, confidential servant in any capacity not menial,

where a practical knowledge of human nature in various parts of the world would be available. Could undertake

any affair of small or great importance, where talent, inviolable secrecy, or good address would be necessary. Has moved in the best and worst societies without being contaminated by either; has never been a servant, but begs to recommend himself as one who knows his place; is moral, temperate, middle-aged. No objection to any part of the world. Could advise any capitalist wishing

to increase his income and have the control of his own money. Could act as secretary or valet to any lady or gentleman. Can give advice or hold his tongue, sing, dance, play, fence, box, preach a sermon, tell a story, be grave or gay, ridiculous or sublime, or do any thing, from the curling of a peruke to the storming of a citadel, but

never to excel his master.

now meet with any degree of success by now and then catching a flat. But people in search of employment, and others disposed (for the purpose of inquiry or speculation) to the purchase of undesignated trinkets for ornamentation, or articles "useful to every housekeeper,” have a right to complain of the many deceptive advertisements contained in the daily and weekly press by which the public are not only gulled but cheated. For instance, seventy-five cents is sent by some person to a firm in —, which advertises "Lincoln Watches," and receives in return a small quantity of very poor ointment, "warranted to cure certain cutaneous diseases as surely as a watch keeps time," packed in a piece of tin soldered together in the shape of a watch; another sends one dollar to for a "Patent time-keeper, warranted never to get out of order," and receives in return a common card, on which is printed a wood-cut representing the face of a sun-dial, which, with an accompanying shawl-pin, is worth nearly one cent. These are but two out of two thousand instances of dishonest advertising flooding the press weekly, and are of a class which is bringing advertising into disrepute, and daily proving the necessity of some kind of censorship to insure the public against misrepresentation and fraud.

Occasionally, however, we may find in an advertisement honesty intensified. Here, for instance, is one from the Pall Mall (London) Ga

The second is from the same paper:

A Countr: CLERGYMAN would feel most thankful to

any benevolent lady that would kindly take into her serv ice a strong motherless girl of sixteen, whom he is anxious

to get from home, but whom he can not recommend for

honesty and truthfulness. Address, etc., etc.

shoes and fancy articles, in an Eastern paper, Coming near home, an advertisement of cheap says: "N.B. Ladies who wish cheap shoes will do well to call soon, as they will not last long." We give the advertiser the benefit of the double entendre.

The following was lately contained in a Western paper:

friends and others to let me have liquor, which is hurtful WHEREAS, at particular times, I may importune my to me and detrimental to society: This is, therefore, to forbid any persons selling me liquor, or letting me have

JOHN HOLMES.

It is evident that John wrote the above when he was sober and repentant, and meant to be honest and faithful to himself and to others.

For being similarly addicted to the foible alluded to, "Polly Lines" advertises her betterhalf:

POLLY LINES.

Poor Polly! "Pretty Polly!" Western papers seldom fail to afford amusement, even aside from their columns of facetiæ. The printers sometimes use even the advertising department to point a joke. One of them, whose office is a mile from any other building, and who hangs his sign on the limb of a tree, advertises for an apprentice, and closes by saying, "A boy from the country would be preferred."

Another advertises:

When Anaxagoras was told of the death of his son, he only said, "I knew he was mortal." So, when we see a splendid pair of ladies' slippers, we say, "I know they came from Crispin Puffer's."

A short chapter on Noses ends with an advertisement of a clothing store:

NOSEOLOGY.-Some genius, who has devoted much thought and attention to the subject, classes noses as follows: 1. The Roman Nose; 2. The Grecian Nose; 3. The 5. The Snub Nose; 6. The Turn-up Nose, or Celestial. Now it must be confessed that the prejudice goes very strongly in favor of wearing a nose; and that every one who a thing or two knows never fails to procure his Sunday clothes at- etc., etc., etc.

Cogitative, or Wide-nostriled Nose; 4. The Crooked Nose;

seldom read. Such as the following may be ef

WANTED.-At this office, an EDITOR who can please

every body; also, a FOREMAN who can so arrange the paper as to allow every man's advertisement to head the column.

By the following it will be plainly seen that in some part of Ohio "the schoolmaster is abroad," while punctuation is nowhere:

NOTICE TO TRESPASSERS.—Notice is hear By Given that now pursen is pur Mitted to take Ene Nuts of Ene Kind out of Mi Woods Mi hogs Must Live Look oute.

Here is another, which for its morality (or, rather, for the want of it) is really atrocious:

TO RENT.-A house on Melville Avenue, located immediately alongside of a fine plum orchard, from which an abundant supply of the most delicious fruit may be stolen during the season. Rent low, and the greater part taken in plums.

for instance, a grocer in Burlington, Vermont, rhymes away on teas and other potables funnily and punnily:

Black, Green, Souchong, and Oolong,
Chocolate, Cocoa, and so along,
These are the drinks that go along
At Dewey's.

Under the heading "Wives Wanted" a certain manufacturer advertises a new kind of soap:

I want the wives my plan to try,
And save the steam and bubble
That now attend the washing day,
Also, the toil and trouble.
Twice ten thousand noble dames
Pronounce it quite a treasure,
And all unite with heart and voice
To praise it without measure.

When you want the best soap, call for, etc., etc.

THE TOWN OF POGGIS, and surrounding country, is the most beautiful which Nature ever made. The scenery is

celestial-divine; also, two wagons to sell, and a yoke of

steers.

A Yankee (certainly "irrepressible") advertises that he will repair clocks, lecture on Phrenology, milk kicking cows, and go clamming at high tide. During his leisure he will have no objection to edit a newspaper in the bargain. But a Mississippi paper in some respects takes the palm for audacity, when its own editor and proprietor advertises a sow for sale, saying that it is "sold for no fault, except that, having been raised by a Methodist preacher, she has acquired too great a partiality for spring chickens to be agreeable to the present owner."

"Catch" advertisements have latterly come into common use-very much, occasionally, to the disgust of the serious trader. These are generally placed among "Notices" in city journals, or in the columns of reading matter of the country weeklies. Many of them are exccedingly ingenious, and display no small degree of

from the West, and has the pure Western flavor. Had it only appeared lately, the advertiser might have had the benefit of the wide-andwidely extended circulation of this article. It is only to be regretted that the writer published his advertisement too soon:

NOTICE.-Persons indebted to the Tuscaloosa Book Store are respectfully solicited to pay their last year's account forthwith. It is of no use to honey; payments must be made at least once a year, or I shall run down at the heel.

Every body says, How well that man Woodruff is going on in the world! when the fact is, I have not positively spare change enough to buy myself a shirt or a pair of breeches. My wife is now actually engaged in turning an old pair wrong side out, and trying to make a new shirt out of two old ones. She declares that in Virginia, where she was raised, they never do such things; and that it is, moreover, a downright vulgar piece of business altogether. Come, come, pay up, friends! Keep peace in the family, and enable me to wear my breeches right side out. You can hardly imagine how much it will oblige, dear Sirs, the public's most obedient, most obliged, and most humble

servant.

The annexed advertisement is reprinted for the benefit of that much-abused class-boarding-house keepers. It may justly be supposed

architecture is in the Tudor style, and may be dated about the time of Henry VIII.; but to describe it as it deserves is felt to be far beyond the reach of the limited capacity of the composer, and even much wiser heads would be puzzled in the attempt to do it justice-it is indeed the great Leviathan of the West. Its fame has been held in the highest veneration from generation to generation, and it is now avowed to have no successful rival amidst the vast variety of monasteries to be found throughout the country. The first impression on beholding this ancient pile the writer feels can never be obliterated from his memory; his mind on the instant seemed to be subdued into a most devout and religious state, one of absolute wonder, mixed up with boundless admiration; it was a joyous spectacle, but Mr. Robins can not too earnestly invoke all those who possess a soul congenial with objects of antiquity to go to the abbey, and then judge for themselves; they will, with one accord, proclaim how absolutely impossible it is to convey in suitable terms the panegyric which would be awarded to it. The county in which the abbey is placed will not yield to any other. The reader needs not to be reminded that, in days of yore, the taste of the monks in the selection of their lands was never questioned, and amidst all the good things of this world, they were remarkable for the accuracy of their judgment. In selecting the best of every thing, even the fat of the land was not accounted too good for their refined taste. This princely property is all freehold of inheritance, surrounded by lawns and pleasure-grounds, with graveled walks between rows of umbrageous trees of great size and stateliness, intercepted with ornamental waters, cascades, and waterfalls sparkling with foam, and here and there a statue to diversify the scene. The park, which is one of great beauty, is stocked with deer, whose venison has obtained the highest celebrity for its fatness and fine flavor, while the soft, undulating foliage of its magnificent and timehonored trees is perpetually deluding the eye into a belief that it was of boundless extent, and imparting just such an air of tempered wildness as would gratify the lover of scenery, without offense to those who are inclined to look rather for the evidences of the superintending hand of care and cultivation. Indeed, every thing seems to increase the charms of a spot so rich in nature's beauties. Of the ornamental waters in front of the abbey we find it thus

recorded:

"Before the mansion lay a lucid lake,

Broad as transparent, deep and freshly fed By a river, which its softened way did take In currents through the calmer waters spread. The river Axe, so renowned by the disciples of Izaak Walton for its piscatory pleasures and delicious trout, winds in serpentine beauty through the fair demesne,

"Lost for a space through thickets veering,
But broader when again appearing."

It was here that

"The branching stag swept down with all his herd, To quaff a brook which murmured like a bird." It may still be asked, "What more can mortals now desire?" The sporting qualities extend to every thing a gentleman's heart can contemplate. By-the-way, the monks' celebrated walk is in high preservation, and to

omit a panegyric upon the ancient tapestry that adorns

the state rooms would approach sacrilege. It really and truly may be accounted the wonder and admiration of the world. It fearlessly challenges a rival; and the writer is exceedingly desirous that the reader should not for one moment charge this description of being too vivid. He may rest assured here is no flight of fancy, but a veritable and unassuming report. This description, it is perceived, has already extended beyond the limits prescribed, and therefore (with lament) the writer ends this very imperfect recital, merely observing that the terms used by the

foundress of the abbey when she tendered to the holy fathers her manor of Thorncombe, in exchange for the barren lands of Brightley, stating it to be "well wooded and fertile," are trebly appropriate in the present day.

man in France, seeing the advertisement, was attracted to England to be present at the sale. But lo, and behold! when he came, he found that the picture of truth had been so entirely overdrawn as to render it altogether a piece of deception. Instead of the picturesque and sublime, the whole thing was simply ridiculous. The Frenchman immediately brought an action for damages against George Robins and gained his suit by recovering his expenses-our auctioneer becoming thus, for once, a loser by his special genius.

We will now "conquer a close" by "improving the whole subject” and adding words of advice: (2.)

I. TO MERCHANTS. —(1.) Advertise. Advertise liberally. (3.) Advertise courageously.

II. TO THE PEOPLE AT LARGE.—(1.) Read the Advertisements. (2.) Study them, and verily they shall be for your profit.

LOOKING UNDER THE BED.

T is the habit of many persons to take a look night.

Mrs. Evergreen, my beloved wife, indulges, if indulgence it can be called, in this peculiar practice. I do not object to it in the least so long as she does not enforce the performance upon myself; but when, as is sometimes the case, she forgets it until she has put out the light and ensconced herself under the comforter, then it is hard that I, who am not troubled with nervous apprehensiveness, should have to get out in the cold and do it for her. I have often remarked to Mrs. Evergreen, when I have seen her prying under the bed, that it was a silly habit, and that the sooner she gave it up the better. To this gentle admonition my better-half invariably rejoins:

"La, Evergreen! what harm does it do? It's a kind of satisfaction to know that nobody's under there, and then I don't think of such a horrible thing after I'm in bed."

"I think, my dear, you might just as well pursue your investigations further and look into the bureau drawers and the clothes-basket."

"Evergreen," she will rejoin, "don't mention the idea, or I shall certainly do so. Come to think of it, a man could very easily get into the clothes-basket!"

"Certainly he could, my dear, quite as easily as Falstaff. You should certainly include the clothes-basket, and by-the-by, there's the chimney; why not look up that as well?"

"Now, Evergreen, you're laughing at me. But I can't leave off the habit, and I never will. It's a comfort for me to know that there's nothing wrong about it, and I don't see why you should deprive me of it."