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“ You must give me my revenge, Mr. Seymour," said the nettled major; and turning towards the vicar, he informed his reverend friend that upon any other occasion he should be most happy to resume the discussion, but at present he must beg him to desist from his literary persecution.
A SHORT DIALOGUE, CONTAINING SOME FUN, AND
A LITTLE PHILOSOPHY. - THE ARRIVAL OF THE POPULACE AT OSTERLEY PARK. – THE COMMENCEMENT OF THE FESTIVITIES. — DANCING ON THE TIGHT AND SLACK ROPE. — BALANCING.CONJURING. - OPTICAL ILLUSIONS. — VARIOUS GAMES. —THE PENTHALUM.—THE BANQUET.
- GRAND DISPLAY OF FIREWORKS. — CONCLUSION.
NEVER had the rosy fingers of Aurora shown so much reluctance in unbarring the gates of the East, as on the morning of the Osterley Jubilee; at least, so thought about half a score peasants, who, fevered by anxiety and expectation, had arisen from their beds long before the break of day, and having wandered about the green lanes and meadows, at length came to the village inn, whither they were attracted by the shouts and songs of Ned Hopkins and his merry companions, who, to use a cant expression, had
been keeping it up,' by pouring down the punch of mine hostess at the Bag of Nails ?
“ Is it not very strange that the sun should not have yet risen?” said one of the villagers, as he entered the parlour where the aforesaid party were enjoying their merriment..
“ If the sun has overslept himself,” replied Giles Gingerly, “ depend upon it, Master Hodge, that all the clocks in your village are in the secret; for they declare, without changing a feature in their faces, that it is not yet four o'clock.”
“ Four o'clock !” exclaimed Crank Smirky, the conjuror, “ why, it cannot be two; do you really mean to say that more than three hours have elapsed since our supper? I'll be bound for it, those hanged pendulums have been stealing a march upon us, by beating double quick time.”
“ It may be so," replied Ned, with a roguish twinkle of his eye, “ for those pendulums have always been notorious for their waggery.”
Gentlemen !” exclaimed a squat and cadaverous-looking personage at the top of the table, 6 I agree with our friend, Mr. what's his name, that it must be six or seven o'clock; it is too
bad to sit thus piping all night, when a day of great exertion is dawning upon us - but — but —"
Here the squat gentleman yawned so tremendously that the conclusion of the sentence became inarticulate.
“ If it be later than four, the clocks must be too slow; and not too fast, as Crank Smirky conjectures,” replied Mr. Toby Tiffin, a noted performer on the salt-box; “ but pendulums are ill-used servants, and I should not wonder, if it turns out that they have all struck for wages.”
“ There you are quite out, Master Toby," replied Ned Hopkins, “ for the pendulum never strikes on any occasion, although I confess that he frequently urges his master to do so'; and as to his wages, why do not you know that he always goes upon tick ? ”
66 Yes, and therein is the cruelty of his case,” cried Toby; “ since the master for whom he labours is constantly stretching forth his hands, and admonishing every idler' that passes to be ready for his reckoning."
How forcibly does the above conversation illustrate a truth, which has been so frequently enforced in a graver and more philosophical
manner, - that the same portion of time may be very differently estimated by persons differently occupied; so that it is possible some may think half an hour as long as we do a day. The time of a wise man is lengthened by the number and variety of his ideas, as that of the idler is by his ennui : to the former it appears long, but not tedious, because he distinguishes every moment of it with useful or amusing thoughts; to the latter it appears long, because he does not know what to do with it; or in other words, the one is always enjoying time, and the other always wishing it away.
At length the sun arose; but indignant no doubt at the accusations he had so unjustly suffered, he immediately veiled his fiery countenance in dark and lowering clouds: here, then, was a fresh source of doubt and anxiety; would the day be rainy? The gardener at Overton Lodge was immediately sought and consulted ; and, cheering as were his predictions, they scarcely succeeded in dispelling the gloom which shaded many a fair countenance. The apprehension of disappointment was, however, suddenly relieved; for between nine and ten o'clock the sun re-appeared, beam