SOCIAL INCUBUS OF CLASS LEGISLATION. 147 and it appears from perusal of past history, that mainly they have been employed to feed the higher orders, and to be properly patronized upon payment of certain taxes, and the painful conviction is forced upon an impartial man's faculty for judgment, that a frightful amount of oppression and robbery has to be made good; though it is impossible to make restitution and satisfaction for all the injuries done. What a fearfully dark night shrouded this bragging Europe, not many hundred years bygone, when kings, princes, and rulers, took upon themselves to patronize the truth of the most high God; appointing men to use its power in upholding their feudal customs, to fiddle, to sing, to play sweet music, while their slumbering subjects were falling like forests of autumn leaves, silently and swiftly into the everlasting tomb of hell, this never satiated Tomb, Necropolis the Great! whose inhabitants are blind, and dumb, and deaf, he mightiest empire known; where the citizens have no knowledge of God, where there is no hand to lift up, and no hope. Whosoever enters the everlasting gates of this city, hears them closed smoothly and swiftly behind him, and the friends that knew him on earth shall know him no more. The law for the lower classes was originally the same as that for the higher castes, for the truth must be spoken that it is mainly for the sake of conserving real property and its rights, that society is mapped out in this caste system that obtains in Europe like orang outang, chimpanzee, and marmotzet monkey, in dumb animals. In the scramble for nuts, of course the gorillas and baboons got more than their fair share, and in order to maintain their status and wealth, prevailed upon their elected rulers to agree in the responsibility of altering the law that condemned such grasping cupidity, which law was defined to be "Love God "above all, and your neighbour as well as yourself," for it was found by the champions of law and order, that when they had compromised truth for the sake of kingly influence and protection, they could not square the law in its integrity to suit feudal institutions, and since feudal institutions had undertaken to be Christianized, to benefit by sacerdotal aid, these institutions must in turn be upheld by Christianity, or the church system that professed to teach these doctrines. Caw me, caw me, was the word, so it was proposed (in Britain at least), that a new Education Bill should be brought into council, of a star-chamber stamp; and when the bill was in committee of five councillors, (one not quite sober, and two more playing with bull dogs, and thinking of their assignations for the night), a motion was made to see if any opposition could be roused for the pleasure of instantly putting it down; and the alteration then effected, after a regular game of hunt-the-dictionary, was to the important effect that the word "yourself" was altogether omitted, and the words "you can" were inserted in its place. The only opposition arose from the boozy nobleman referred to, who persisted in dividing upon everything, in obedience to a cunning half drunken suspicion that the alteration would affect him personally, in the event of his more sober fellow legislators turning some mysterious and newly acquired authority against him individually. However, after due explanation, misapprehension, fresh explanation, subsequent alterations, and alternate acquiesence and altercation between all and every one implicated in making this pretty law, the bill was duly passed, engrossed on sheep skin, ticketted, signed, sealed, delivered, and registered; dropped by the lord chancellor on the way to the king; picked up and hypothecated for old parchment in Lombard Street for ten shillings; finally recovered, and the finder's ears cut off and his nose slit up; and at last signed by good king Harry, who married another wife on the strength of it, and got his head fresh rubbed by the Archbishop of Canterbury, to whom he presented his divorced wife's portrait; and took upon himself the transfer of the title of Defender of the Faith from the Pope of Rome for his new establishment, which would have made a pie of his toe nails if he had cut them off. It remains to be shewn what an important alteration in the entire spirit of the social law this little amendment of two THE REFORMATION A DISGRACEFUL COMPROMISE. 149 words effected. That is in the "neighbourly" part of it, because the first clauses about divine worship were of course left untouched; no alteration being required in what was admittedly a metaphysical hypothesis, maintained by some, but by the majority quietly acquiesced in as a matter of course, not worth disputing or any unpleasant earnestness about. It was assumed that a scheduled statement of divine attributes should be read in churches; and to give it effect, the old practice of sentencing disbelievers to everlasting damnation, should be continued as an anthem of praise to Almighty God. And it was agreed on all hands, that certain taxes should be levied upon all, to support what a vast number could not understand the meaning of, and those who did, always postponed the application of, to give their determination a sort of internal, cumulative, and overpowering force, in proportion to the procrastinating husbanding of pious resolves. The love of God continued as before, to be confined to ultimate mixed and concreted abstractions, metaphysical certainty of contradictory inconceivables, contingent emotions and vocalizations, inductive and deductive processes of eliminating talk, and there it ended, because being a man's own manufacture, it stands to common sense, that if he failed to convince himself of the certainty of the one thing needful, he has no right to weaken his neighbour's intellect, derange his nerves, and disturb his digestive organs, by confessing his inability to do what he is principally given life for. His business is to array himself in a white choker, and take lessons on the flageolet. But love to one's neighbour is unfortunately capable of mathematical demonstration; and it does make an important difference to others how this point of man's duty is performed; inasmuch as most people reject as unsatisfactory the explanation of duty given above about abstractions and inconceivables. They observe sarcastically, that a professor of religion is mainly a shuffler and a humbug; and it is frightfully true, that since the above-named alteration in the Education Bill was effected, it bears out in no small degree, the remarks of sceptics of theology, that the profession of religion is like water in a bottle, the less there is in it the more noise it makes when shaken up. The alteration from "yourself" to "you can" affects every fibre of society's framework, and threatens a tremendous convulsion before the original law is restored in its integrity. The following observations may be permitted at the present moment, illustrating the change in the administration of Equity, Common, and Criminal Law, since the important alteration in the original code of legislation just discussed. They may prove useful to quiet the misgivings of those who are given to indulge in irreverent and sarcastic observations about impediments and unnecessary delay, expense, and glorious uncertainty in obtaining justice. And "imprimis" in respect of taking such legal proceedings as above noted, it must be born in mind, that Christianity practically puts a stop to all litigation, by advising people to submit to lose a penny rather than throw away a pound in trying to regain it, but in particular in never suffering a man to have anything in this world worth the bother of going to law to recover, if lost or unjustly taken. 66 66 Nevertheless the opinion of Judge Blackstone on the spirit of the following command is very learned. Where it has been said, "Agree with thine adversary quickly, whilst "thou art in the way with him, lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee "to the officer, and thou be cast into prison"-Blackstone says in effect. "I maintain that he who enters into "an agreement, or makes himself a party in any collusive "operation, or comes to an understanding, or signs any deed, memorandum, or other document, for the purpose of avoiding, as by mutual consent with another or "others, proceedings in any of the High Courts of Chancery "or Common Law, commits an illegal and most unconsti"tutional act, because he does by that agreement (de facto) declare that justice is not to be obtained from the "judges presiding in those courts. And inasmuch as he "consents to avoid the constitutional remedies provided for 66 66 66 STATUTE LAW OF BRITAIN NOT CHRISTIANITY. 151 "the redress of all grievances, losses, damages, injuries, "provocations, and insults, both real and imaginary, he "practically brings the administration of the law into contempt, and sets a dangerous example to all other members "of the commonwealth." 66 The proper estimate of the wisdom of the above great Doctor of Laws, has been given in the following verses by that inimitable satirist, the late Mr. Thomas Hood. He says, in his Comic Almanack for 1838: Judge Blackstone was a learned judge, As wise as ever sat; He wore his head within his wig, His wig within his hat. Judge Blackstone made a learned book On subjects, and on kings, And many reasons sage he gave For many foolish things. And many a wily way he found For lawyers to get fat in, And common sense, and English sound, And simple ways made strange to see, As clients, to their loss, tell; And many things that law may be, But since (see Job) we are but worms No doubt, in being gobbled up By some long lawyer's bill. Further, in respect of those in trouble from the inconveniences attending imprisonment for debt, it may be told them for their consolation, that as they have got them by their own act, they must employ their forced leisure in learning the duties of patience, calmness, fortitude, and resolution for better conduct. But, as many contemplate a process called "whitewashing" for cutting the knot of difficulty, they must be cautioned, that they are not to be considered Christians or behaving as such, inasmuch as they are not supposed to be obliged to borrow with the doctrine |