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6 But now I think on't, 'twould be mighty hard, “ If merit such as thine met no reward : 6 To show how much I logic love, in course 6 I'll make thee master of a chesnut horse." “ A horse ! (quoth Tom) blood, pedigree, and paces ! “ 0, wbat a dash I'll cut at Epsom races !" Tom dreamt all night of boots and leather breeches, Of hunting caps, and leaping rails and ditches ; Rose the next morn an hour before the lark, Dragg’d his old uncle, fasting, to the park ; Bridle in hand, each vale he scours across, To find out something like a chesnut horse. But no such animal the meadow cropt : At length beneath a tree Sir Peter stopt, Caught at a branch and shook it, when down fell A fine horse chesnut, in its prickly shell. 6 There, Tom, take that!” “Well, sir, and what beside?” “ Why, since you're booted, saddle it and ride." 6 Ride what ! a chesnut, sir ?”. “Of course, “ For I can prove that chesnut is a horse : “ Not by the doubtful, fusty, musty rules “ Of Locke or Bacon, antiquated fools ! “ Nor old Malebranche, blind pilot into knowledge !. " But by the laws of wit and Eton College : “ For since you've proved it, and I don't deny “ That a pie John's the same as a John nie; “ Why then it follows, as a thing of course, " That a horse chesnut is a chesnut horse."
COURAGE MISPLACED. As Thomas was cudgell’d one day by his wife, He took to the street, and fled for his life : Tom's three dearest friends came by in the squabble, And saved him at once from the shrew and the rabble, Then ventured to give him some sober advice. But Tom is a person of honour so nice, Too wise to take counsel, too proud to take warning, That he sent to all three a challenge next morning, Three duels he fought, thrice he ventured his life, Went home--and was cudgell'd again by his wife.
THE THREE BLACK CROWS.
People full oft are put into a pother,
Two honest tradesmen meeting in the Strand, One took the other briskly by the hand; “ Hark ye,” said he, “'tis an odd story this, “ About the crows !” “ I don't know what it is," Replied his friend. “ No! I'm surprised at that, " Where I come from it is the common chat : “ But you shall hear; an odd affair indeed! “ And that it happend they are all agreed : “ Not to detain you from a thing so strange, “ A gentleman that lives not far from 'Change,
“ This week, in short, as all the Alley knows,
“ Impossible !” “ Nay, but it's really true;
Resolved to trace so wond'rous an event, Whip to the third our virtuoso went. “Sir,”—and so forth—“ Why yes; the thing is fact, “ Though in regard to number not exact ; “ It was not two black crows, 'twas only one; “ The truth of that you may depend upon. “ The gentleman himself told me the case. " Where may I find him ?" " Why, in such a place.”
Away goes he, and having found him out,
Why, I was horrid sick, and at the last
Something that was as black, sir, as a crow ?”
A SECRET! T'other day, John Trot thus nicely did intend To draw a secret from his honest friend “ Come, Tom,” said he," now tell me; on my life, “ If you tell me, I'll only tell my wife !” “Oh, no," said Tom“ if to your wife you show it, “ I'm sure and certain all the world will know it!"
THE BREWER AND NEGRO. A Brewer, in a country town,
Had got a monstrous reputation ; No other beer but his went down
The hosts of the surrounding station Carving his name upon their mugs,
And painting it on every shutter ;
And though some en vigus folks would utter Hints that its flavour came from drugs, Others maintain'd 'twas no such matter,
But owing to his monstrous vat,
At least as corpulent as that
An honest fellow;
Till he was stupified and mellow.
Having to cross the vat aforesaid, Just then with boiling beer supplied,
O’ercome with giddiness and qualms, he Reeld-fell in—and nothing more was said, But in his favourite liquor died,
Like Clarence in his butt of Malmsey.
The negro absentee was sought,
Until the lees flowed thick and thicker,
As they had often done before-in liquor. 66 See !" cried his moralizing master,
" I always knew the fellow drank hard,
6 And prophesied some sad disaster ;
66 A toast at bottom of a tankard."
Had helped to drain the vat so dry,
Came to demand a fresh supply;
Possessing a much richer gusto Than formerly it ever used to, And begging, as a special favour, Some more of the exact same flavour. 66 Zounds !” cried the brewer, “ that's a task 66 More difficult to grant than ask. “ Most gladly would I give the smack
« Of the last beer to the ensuing, 6 But where am I to find a Black,
“ To boil him down at every brewing ?"
WILLIAM TELL'S SPEECH. Ye crags and peaks, I'm with you once again! I hold to you the hands you first beheld, To show they still are free. Methinks I hear A spirit in your echoes answer me, And bid your tenant welcome to his home Again !— sacred forms, how proud you look ! How high you lift your heads into the sky ! How huge you are ! how mighty, and how free! Ye are the things that tower, that shine_whose smile Makes glad—whose frown is terrible--whose forms, Robed of ụnrobed, do all the impress wear Of awe divine. Ye guards of liberty, I'm with you once again ! I call to you With all my voice !- I hold my hands to you, To show they still are free. I rush to you, As though I could embrace you !