dren's defects, and mistake pertness for wit, which was Mr. Barnwell's case, it is no wonder that children behave improperly. I hope a sense of redeeming love has seasoned her mind with becoming gravity, and has made her a possessor of that cheerfulness and serenity which is not allied to noisy mirth, and of that wisdom which does not consist in pert loquacity, and in being ever on the watch to say smart things, but in constantly endeavouring to glorify God, and to benefit ourselves and others, by our words and actions. Whenever I perceived her culpable, I reproved her freely, and she readily acknowledged her fault. Whatever may take place at the time mentioned in the close of your letter, I earnestly pray that it may be attended with the divine blessing. I am, dear Sir, Yours very respectfully, GTO MARY WORTHINGTON. LETTER LIX. From Mrs. Worthington to Miss Barnwell. MY DEAR NIECE, IN a letter I have received from Mr. Neville, he has hinted that something may possibly take place on your birth-day I think he means your intended marriage. He has also invited me to Thornton Abbey. I have promised, with the divine permission, at some convenient opportunity to accept the invitation; but I have added that I cannot do so at present. If my conjecture is well founded, and you and my other friends choose to come to town, and can be contented with my accommodations, I need not tell you how happy I shall be in the company of those I so highly esteem. It becomes you, my dear niece, to admire and adore the providence of God that has watched over you for good! You have reason to adopt the words of the psalmist, When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. As you have received much mercy, it may be justly expected that you should love much; that God should be in all your thoughts; and that you should endeavour to glorify him in every thought, word, and action. Very great esteem and gratitude will also be due to him, who will have taken you from the low and deserted state wherein he found you. Common affection and esteem will not be accounted sufficient, either by God or man, as a return for great and uncommon favours. It will become you also to reflect, that the higher you are exalted above what you had reason to expect, so much the greater hazard you will run of losing the affection of him who has thus favoured you. I doubt not but you now make it your study to give Mr. Neville not the shadow of a reason to complain of you. In so doing you act rightly; but marriage, instead of lessening the necessity of this prudent caution, will increase it; since time considerably cools that ardent affection which makes lovers blind to each other's imperfections. If the wife be chaste, humble, submissive, patient, industrious, frugal, and kind and obliging to her husband's relatives and friends, as well as to himself, although ardent affection may decrease, esteem will be augmented, which is a passion far more durable than what is termed love; since if the latter be not supported by qualities intrinsically valuable, it will, like a fiery meteor, produce a blaze, and then be extinguished for ever. Married persons should endeavour to practise whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, and whatsoever things are of good report; the best preparative and security for which are the love of God shed abroad in the heart, and an habitual desire to please him. Need we wonder that persons destitute of the love and fear of God, and educated in a course of luxury, idleness, and dissipation, and in a continual round of sensual gratifications, should after marriage cool in their affection, and first slight and afterwards hate each other? If they possess a degree of prudence sufficient to prevent elopement, adultery, and divorce, yet how many instances are there where they are continually wrangling, striving for mastery, and crossing and contradicting each other. Such wretched beings resemble infernal spirits, whose temper and disposition are the reverse of that love, joy, and peace, which constitute the happiness of the blessed. Even provided the husband or the wife have so much good sense as to give up every thing, and submit to every thing, rather than live in continual warfare, this is a state neither to be envied nor desired. But I believe there are few unhappy marriages in which the parties stop at this miserable mediocrity. The husband frequently, soon after marriage, turns his thoughts upon forbidden objects, spends his time and his substance at a tavern or a brothel, and finding no comfort at home, where indeed he has no just right to expect any, becomes a furious tyrant, and treats her whom he took to love, to defend, and to protect, with brutal ferocity, till disease, beggary, and death, end the dreadful scene. Frequently also the wife, determined to have her will in every thing, begins from the day of marriage to put her design in execution, by suffering no contradiction, and by giving up no point whatever, lest having yielded in one instance she should be obliged to yield in another: and if she be determined to persevere, she will inevitably accomplish her purpose. If the husband be disposed to sacrifice almost every thing for peace, it only serves to inflame her passion for mastery. The weapons used in this domestic warfare are numerous and powerful. If clamour will succeed, seldom any thing else is thought of. But as that will not always prove successful, intreaties, coaxing, continual teazing, tears, fits, and illness, are so many different modes of attack, perseveringly carried on until the husband surrenders. If you should show Mr. Neville this picture of matrimo ny, the original of which I fear is frequently to be seen, he will perhaps say with the disciples, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. To this however I would reply, that in numerous instances marriage is the most happy state in the world, and for both parties very far excels a single state. I have known many cases, in which there has been little or no sense of religion, where nevertheless good sense and good temper have so far supVOL. II. H plied the place of better principles, as to make the parties tolerably happy. And I have also known many married persons, who, possessing the best principles, yet wanting good sense and a good natural temper, have not been happy. Crace, as has frequently been observed, is sometimes grafted upon a crab-stock. Where that is the case, with out good sense and great self-denial, a person's own happiness, and the happiness of his connexions, will be considerably diminished. But instances are not wanting where good sense and good temper in both parties are connected with an experimental knowledge of salvation by Jesus Christ. The conjugal union of such persons, endowed with a great portion of the Spirit of God, is the highest. state of felicity of which niortality is capable. It bears a resemblance to the happiness of the blessed. And indeed the love of Christ and his church is represented by a happy marriage, in the Canticles, and also in the xlvth psalm, which is a beautiful ode upon the same subject, and from which Solomon possibly borrowed the idea of that fine allegorical poem. Such a union of hearts is strengthened by the consideration, that their interests are inseparable, and that nothing is undertaken or done by either but with a view to their mutual advantage. They behold themselves living as it were again in their children, and the love which each manifests to their offspring is another pleasing bond by which they are united. They love too as children of the same heavenly Father, destined to spend a happy eternity in his presence. By worshipping God together, and offering up prayer daily with and for each other, their reciprocal affection is invigorated. All these things united, form a friendship of the purest kind, which is strengthened rather than weakened by age and infirmities; for they remember with pleasure and gratitude their former mutual endearments, kindnesses, and good offices. As I do not expect nor desire you to keep this from the sight of Mr. William Neville, I here acknowledge the receipt of his kind letter. In Mr. Clifford we see the true representation of a man, who has so long cast off the fear of God, that his accusing conscience, having received many rebuffs, first loses its feeling, and then its voice. Yet such characters are less injurious to society, in many re spects, than furious bigots, who have no other reason for adhering to their sect or party than because they were born in it. I will pursue this subject no further, since I perceive it leads me to the consideration of your father's unkindness. You cannot indeed be insensible of it, but I would not willingly contribute towards the alienation of your affections from him. It also becomes you to consider, that unless divine mercy had prevented it, if not a similar, yet perhaps an equally culpable part would now have been acting by you. I was much affected with the generous proposal of Mr. Clifford, if you should marry with Mr. Neville's approba tion. I think he has a right to an invitation to your wedding. Generous actions always meet with their reward from him who is himself the most beneficent giver; and although they may proceed from no better motives than vanity or self-love, yet I believe God never fails to reward the most trivial favour done to his people. Undoubtedly, if the favour is done because they belong to Jesus, it is of much greater value, and proves the person who does it to be a Christian. I.pray continually that you may fill up the station before you in an honourable manner, and that your conduct through life may promote the happiness of your husband, your family, and yourself. I entreat you both to accept my blessing. It is all I have to bestow at present. When I die, the little I possess will be yours. I present my kind respects to all the friends of the Re deemer at Thornton Abbey. Believe me to be, My dear niece, Your affectionate aunt, MARY WORTHINGTON |