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when you can lead any woman, with kisses and well-starched shirt-bosom and a heavy mus-
And so we marched on-the Similar Cases,
"Such a sad case !" she said, looking at the Cruet ran up to Dr. Honiwell.
“Circumstances alter cases," returned the cocious development. Ah! Mr. Besom! why, Fool Catcher, sententiously.
I was thinking of you. I have just seen your “I do not think they do," cried Mrs. Scragge, new house, Sir. Pity there wasn't a varnish. virtuously. “I do not consider any circum- of time, and ready-grown moss, to be had with stances an excuse for such things. I have nev- other building materials. A spiteful neighborer pretended to be better than other women; hood like yours will have its fling, you know, at but, Mr. Fool Catcher, you might bring me new people. Miss Cresses, how ill you look ! what circumstances you like, and it would make what has become of that fine bloom that I used no difference with me; not an atom.”
to praise a year ago ? My dear Hodein, why The Fool Catcher waved his hand toward our I am meeting all my friends this morning! So ranks.
you have an article in the Saga; and, by-the“Fall in line, Madam! You are as wise as by, what a wretched number that was! Pity, a baby that is sure the candle will not burn its too; its editor never pays, if he can help it. fingers :" securing, in the same breath, an edi. Now” tor, whom he had caught among the prophets. "Fall in line," said the Fool Catcher, laying
And so we marched on-the Editor, Mrs. a heavy hand on Cruet's shoulders. “I rememScragge, Tornado, the Hon. Mr. Boreas, Nul- ber, Sir
, that Heaven reckons up each drop of lis, Mrs. Merrywell, Miss Sharpe, young Tan- gall that you distill for your fellow-creatures, dern, Mrs. La Place, the Fool Catcher, and I, and will, one day, give it all to you to drink !" to-well-really, there are times, and persons, And so we marched on-Cruct, the Similar and things about which one should have dis-Cases, Dash, the Editor, Mrs. Scragge, Tornado, cretion-let us say that it was Dash, who was the Hon. Mr. Boreas, Nullus, Mrs. Merrywell, observing, in an unctuous, comfortable way, to Miss Sharpe, young Tandem, Mrs. La Place, three bony women in print gowns :
the Fool Catcher, and I-and found old Mene, “I don't deny that it is hard, my good la- peeping into a kettle, boiling on the range in dies, but it is undoubtedly the will of God, be- his own kitchen, and lecturing Mrs. Mene and cause, whatever is, is right; so that, in my opin- the cook. ion, the powerful effort that is now being made “Mrs. Mene, I thought I ordered this fish to to alter your status, is a direct flying in the face be kept till to-morrow, and a picked-up dinner of Providence. It is painful individually, but, for to-day! “There was nothing left," Mrs. no doubt, that is a wise provision that makes Mene? Do you mean to tell me there was nothe condition of working women as uncomfort- thing left? And a pudding! Mrs. Mene, will able as possible, since, were it otherwise, women you look here? The woman is making a pud. might be tempted to revolt against their natural ding! Fish, and a pudding, together! Burnprotectors, and make themselves independent of ing out the candle at both ends ! And you talkmen."
ing about new hats for the children! There “My good Dash!” cried the Fool Catcher, must be some old things in the house. Look twirling that worthy about on his own steps like them up, look them up, Mrs. Mene, and set the a top, “if there was a custom of horsewhipping, pudding away, do you hear? Fish, and puddaily, all fat, pompous men like you, would you ding, in one day! indeed! consider it an ordinance of God or a device of “Here is an idiot,” said the Fool Catcher, man? and when you have a fever, do you not with strong disgust. “You should have married think that a doctor and medicines is so much a five-dollar note, Sir. It would have cost you fying in the face of Providence ? since, though nothing, and you need never have spent it. the fever may bear individually hard on you, Fall in line, Mr. -; but hush, what is that?” doubtless a wise provision made fevers possible and listening, we heard Mrs. Worreit. for mankind, especially in the spring. Fall in “Oh, yes! I get the woman, my dear, at lit. line, Dash !” at the same time pouncing on tle or nothing. She has neither home nor what he called Similar Casesa young man, friends, and is glad of a shelter; and she is not who insisted that a fine head of blonde hair and aware of her own value. She is a perfect seam
pair of pink cheeks were a sweet temper and stress; has taste and judgment, and I should a good heart, and a young lady, who believed a pay two dollars a-day for the work that I get
out of her at a dollar a week. As you say, I has been millions of times asserted, but never think I am in luck myself; but I am always on once proved. Let—" the look-out for such lucky chances.
“Fall in line, Madam !” interrupted the Fool all my work done in that way. I can afford to Catcher, who had listened with something like dress well on the money I save.”
interest. “There are grains of wheat in all this "Ah! - Madam;" cried the Fool Catcher, chaff, but common-sense might teach you that suddenly stepping in before her, " as I told Mr. when you deliberately make yourself as unbearCruet, Heaven is in account with you, and of able to men as possible they will very naturally such as you will exact usury on every penny suppose you the fruit of the system you adrothat you have gained or saved out of the poor cate, and as naturally oppose it, when you stand and afflicted, and you will find it a fearful debt in need of their sympathy and hearty co-operato pay. Fall in line, Madam. You are penny- tion, instead." wise and soul-foolish.”
And so we marched on — Miss Blew, Mrs. So we marched on- -Mrs. Worreit, Mr. Mene, Worreit, Mr. Mene, Cruet, the Similar Cases, Cruet, the Similar Cases, Dash, the Editor, Mrs. Dash, the Editor, Mrs. Scragge, Tornado, the Scragge, Tornado, the Hon. Mr. Boreas, Nullus, Hon. Mr. Boreas, Nullus, Mrs. Merrywell, Miss Mrs. Merrywell, Miss Sharpe, young Tandem, Sharpe, young Tandem, Mrs. La Place, the Mrs. La Place, the Fool Catcher, and I—when Fool Catcher, and I - till the Fool Catcher we met Miss Blew, in a dingy, rumpled gown, stopped us to listen to Mrs. Gnat. and the ugliest bonnet that could be bought for “There, Gnat!” she was saying, “just like money.
you! Forgot it, of course! You wouldn't have “You are a pretty Fool Catcher!” cried Miss forgotten it if Mrs. Walliker had asked you! Blew, scornfully scanning our line. “A man Toiling and slaving, you say! I suppose you or two to save appearances, and all the rest to expect to have a wife and daughters for nothing, go free." But wait till the new order of things Sir. I suppose you would like us to turn our comes about. Then we may have a female old gowns, and wear them the year through. Fool Catcher, and men may get their deserts Mimy extravagant! She don't dress as well for their meanness, stupidity, obstinacy, ugli- as Laura Walliker! Always talking about sitness, pettiness, tyranny, malice, and abuse of ting at your desk! Where would you sit ? or women generally. I only wish they would as if you cared for any thing outside of your make me Fool Catcher,” she said, grimly, curve counting-room.” ing her fingers like claws.
“Yes, but he might have cared for his home," “Is the new order of things at hand ?" asked said the Fool Catcher, softly. the Fool Catcher, quietly.
“You are lazy, Gnat,” pursued the lady, " or “No; nor won't be,” snapped Miss Blew, you would be willing to escort your daughters "till women pluck up a spirit. Men are like about, poor things! You would, if you had donkeys,”
natural affection. Worn down! Well, I am “But, my dear Madam, you can lead your worn down, I should think, with a house, and donkeys better with thistles than sticks. Tact, three daughters, and six servants, to oversee! and conciliation"
But I sacrifice myself; I go till I am fit to “ Have been tried for the last six thousand drop!" years!” screamed Miss Blew. “Men are to "What a pity that the Gnats are not given tyrannize over us, because it is unfeminine to to the Tornados !" said the Fool Catcher, stepshow temper and resist; and we are to look ping forward with his customary formula of pretty, because men like pretty faces; and wear “Fall in line, Mrs. Gnat." neat gowns, because men like neatness in women. And so we marched on-Mrs. Gnat, Miss But if we only get a dinner semi-occasionally, Blew, Mrs. Worreit, Mr. Mene, Cruet, the Simiwe must not mention it, because the only reme- lar Cases, Dash, the Editor, Mrs. Scragge, Tor. dy is, more trades and more wages; and as it nado, the Hon. Mr. Boreas, Nullus, Mrs. Merrytickles men's vanity to think that he is the cen- well, Miss Sharpe, young Tandem, Mrs. La tre of woman's universe, and that in him she Place, the Fool Catcher, and I-ill we orertook lives, and moves, and has her being, the best he Mrs. Pharisee, entangled in a crowd about a can do for working women, who live and move miserable woman caught in the act of filching an in themselves, if at all, is to wink at their exist- apronful of beans. ence, and continually hold them up as dreadful A movement of the crowd brought Mrs. Phariexamples of what may happen to women with see and the woman face to face. Mrs. Pharisee out his protection; telling us, meanwhile, how was fresh, clean, and spotless, from her stockfeeble we are in muscle and endurance, and ings to her collar. Her face was fresh and how inferior in judgment and talents. But spotless also, with here and there a line for when the painter drew the lion at the feet of Mrs. Pharisee was not young—but lightly drawn the man the lion said that he should have by small anxieties. The woman, though ten placed the figures differently. It makes a differ- years younger than Mrs. Pharisee, looked older, ence who tells the story. Give us as thorough so haggard, ragged, and begrimed was she. and sensible an education as you do men, as No stronger contrast could have been made. fair a chance, and as desirable a prospect, and Mrs. Pharisee was proper ; the woman was recklet us demonstrate our inferiority. So far it I less. Mrs. Pharisee was neat; the woman was filthy. Mrs. Pharisee was on her way to even- funeral song: “But for him I had never known ing prayers; and the woman had just stolen what the communion of man with man means. beans, for her children, she said, looking half- His was the freest, brotherliest, bravest human imploringly at Mrs. Pharisee.
soul mine ever came in contact with. I call him “And you see where your theft has brought on the whole the best man I have ever, after trial you and them," said Mrs. Pharisee, answering enough, found in this world, or now hope to find." her look. “Why will people be bad, when, in In a very few minutes after the doors were these days of light and of the dispensation of opened the large hall was filled in every part, and the Gospel, it is just as easy to be good ?" when up the central passage the Principal, the The Fool Catcher choked.
Lord Rector, the Members of the Senate, and “Fall in line!” he gasped, when he had re-other gentlemen advanced toward the platform, covered breath. “If all the virtues and pro- the cheering was vociferous and hearty. The prieties have been able to make nothing better Principal occupied the chair of course, the Lord of you than this, I wonder what you would have Rector on his right, the Lord Provost on his left. developed had you been born, like this woman, When the platform gentlemen had taken their not to days of light, but to days of darkness; seats every eye was fixed on the Rector. To not to the dispensation of the Gospel, but to the all appearance, as he sat, time and labor had dispensation of the devil! Fall in line, Mrs. dealt tenderly with him. His face had not yet Pharisee."
lost the country bronze which brought up And so we marched on-Mrs. Pharisee, Mrs. with him from Dumfries-shire as a student fiftyGnat, Miss Blew, Mrs. Worreit, Mr. Mene, Cru- six years ago. His long residence in London et, the Similar Cases, Dash, the Editor, Mrs. had not touched his Annandale look, nor had it Scragge, Tornado, the Hon. Mr. Boreas, Nullus, -as we soon learned—touched his Annandale Mrs. Merrywell, Miss Sharpe, young Tandem, accent. His countenance was striking, homely, Mrs. La Place, the Fool Catcher, and I. sincere, truthful—the countenance of a man on
whom “the burden of the unintelligible world"
His CARLYLE AT EDINBURGH.
had weighed more heavily than on most.
hair was yet almost dark; his mustache and "DINBURGH has no University Hall, and short beard were iron gray. His eyes were
accordingly, when speech-day approached, wide, melancholy, sorrowful; and seemed as if the largest public room in the city was chartered they had been at times aweary of the sun. by the University authorities. This public room Altogether in his aspect there was something -the Music Hall in George Street-will con- aboriginal, as of a piece of unhewn granite, tain, under severe pressure, from eighteen hun- which had never been polished to any approved dred to nineteen hundred persons, and tickets to pattern, whose natural and original vitality had that extent were secured by the students and never been tampered with. In a word, there members of the General Council.
seemed no passivity about Mr. Carlyle—he was On the day of the address the doors of the the diamond, and the world was his pane of Music Hall were besieged long before the hour glass; he was a graving tool rather than a thing of opening had arrived; and loitering about graven upon a man to set his mark on the there on the outskirts of the crowd, one could world—a man on whom the world could not set not help glancing curiously down Pitt Street, its mark. And just as, glancing toward Fife a toward the “lang toun of Kirkcaldy," dimly few minutes before, one could not help thinking seen beyond the Forth-for on the sands there, of his early connection with Edward Irving, so in the early years of the century, Edward Irving seeing him sit beside the venerable Principal was accustomed to pace up and down solitarily, of the University, one could not help thinking and “as if the sands were his own,” people of his earliest connection with literature. say, who remembered, when they were boys, Time brings men into the most unexpected seeing the tall, ardent, black-haired, swift-ges- relationships. When the Principal was plain tured, squinting man, often enough. And to Mr. Brewster, editor of the Edinburgh CyclopæKirkcaldy too, as successor to Edward Irving in dia, little dreaming that he should ever be Knight the Grammar School, came young Carlyle from of Hanover and head of the Northern MetropoliEdinburgh College, wildly in love with German tan University, Mr. Carlyle-just as little dreamand mathematics and the school-room in which ing that he should be the foremost man of letthese men taught, although incorporated in Pro-ters of his day and Lord Rector of the same Fost Swan's manufactory, is yet kept sacred and University-was his contributor, writing for said intact, and but little changed these fifty years, Cyclopædia biographies of Voltaire and other an act of hero-worship for which the present and notables. And so it came about that, after years other generations may be thankful. It seemed of separation and of honorable labor, the old to me that so glancing Fife-ward, and thinking editor and contributor were brought together of that noble friendship-of the David and Jona- again—in new aspects. The proceedings bethan of so many years gone—was the best prepa- gan by the conferring of the degree of LL.D. ration for the man I was to see and the speech on Mr. Erskine of Linlathen—an old friend of I was to hear. David and Jonathan! Jona- Mr. Carlyle's—on Professors Huxley, Tyndall, than stumbled and fell on the dark hills not and Ramsay, and on Dr. Rae, the Arctic exof Gilboa, but of Vanity; and David sang his plorer.
That done, amidst a tempest of cheering, and any case, there is no other intellectual warehouse hats enthusiastically waved, Mr. Carlyle, slip-in which that kind of article is kept in stock, ping off his Rectorial robe—which must have Criticism and comment, both provincial and been a very shirt of Nessus to him-advanced metropolitan, have been busy with the speech, to the table and began to speak in low, wavering, making the best and the worst of it; but it will melancholy tones, which were in accordance long be memorable to those who were present with the melancholy eyes, and in the Annandale and listened. Beyond all other living men Mr. accent, with which his play-fellows must have Carlyle has colored the thought of his time. been familiar long ago. So self-contained was He is above all things original. Search where he, so impregnable to outward influences, that you will, you will not find his duplicate. Just all his years of Edinburgh and London life could as Wordsworth brought a new eye to nature, not impair, even in the slightest degree, that. Mr. Carlyle has brought a new eye into the The opening sentences were lost in the applause, realms of Biography and History. Helvellyn and when it subsided the low, plaintive, quaver- and Skiddaw, Grassmere and Fairfield, are seen ing voice was heard going on, “Your enthusi- now by the tourist even, through the glamour of asm toward me is very beautiful in itself, how- the poet; and Robespierre and Mirabeau, Cromever undeserved it may be in regard to the ob- well and Frederic, Luther and Knox, stand at ject of it. It is a feeling honorable to all men, present, and may for a long time stand, in the and one well known to myself when in a posi- somewhat lurid torch-light of Mr. Carlyle's gention analogous to your own." And then came ius. Whatever the French Revolution may the Carlylean utterance, with its far-reaching have been, the French Revolution, as Mr. Carreminiscence and sigh over old graves-Father's lyle conceives it, will be the French Revolution and Mother's, Edward Irving's, John Sterling's, of posterity. If he has been mistaken, it is not Charles Buller's, and all the noble known in easy to see from what quarter rectification is to past time—and with its flash of melancholy scorn.
It will be difficult to take the “sea“There are now fifty-six years gone, last No- green” out of the countenance of the Incorruptivember, since I first entered your city, a boy of ble, to silence Danton's pealing voice or clip his not quite fourteen-fifty-six years ago-to at- shaggy mane, to dethrone King Mirabeau. If tend classes here and gain knowledge of all with regard to these men Mr. Carlyle has writkinds, I knew not what—with feelings of won- ten wrongfully, there is to be found no redress. der and awe-struck expectation ; and now, after Robespierre is now, and henceforth in popular a long, long course, this is what we have come conception, a prig; Mirabeau is now and henceto." (Hereat certain blockheads, with a sense forth a hero. Of these men, and many others, of humor singular enough, loudly cachinnated !) Mr. Carlyle has painted portraits, and whether “ There is something touching and tragic, and true or false, his portraits are taken as genuine. yet at the same time beautiful, to see the third And this new eye he has brought into ethics generation, as it were, of my dear old native as well. A mountain, a daisy, a sparrow's nest, land, rising up and saying, "Well, you are not a mountain tarn, were very different objects to altogether an unworthy laborer in the vineyard. Wordsworth from what they were to ordinary You have toiled through a great variety of for- spectators; and the moral qualities of truth, tunes and have had many judges.'
valor, honesty, industry, are quite other things And thereafter, without aid of notes or paper to Mr. Carlyle from what they are to the ordipreparation of any kind, in the same wistfud, nary run of mortals-not to speak of preachers earnest, hesitating voice, and with many a touch and critical writers. The gospel of noble manof quaint humor by the way, which came in upon hood, which he so passionately preaches, is not in his subject like glimpses of pleasant sunshine, the least a novel one-the main points of it are the old man talked to his vast audience about to be found in the oldest books which the world the origin and function of Universities, the old possesses, and have been so constantly in the Greeks and Romans, Oliver Cromwell, John mouths of men that for several centuries past Knox, the excellence of silence as compared they have been regarded as truisms. That work with speech, the value of courage and truthful- is worship; that the first duty of a man is to ness, and the supreme importance of taking care find out what he can do best, and when found, of one's health. “There is no kind of achieve “to keep pegging away at it," as old Lincolu ment you could make in the world that is equal phrased it; that on a lie nothing can be built; to perfect health. What to it are nuggets and that this world has been created by Almighty millions? The French financier said — Alas! God; that man has a soul which can not be satiswhy is there no sleep to be sold! Sleep was fied with meats or drinks, or fine palaces and millnot in the market at any quotation.” But what ions of money, or stars and ribbons - are not need of quoting a speech which by this time has these the mustiest of commonplaces, of the very been read by every body? Appraise it as you utterance of which our very grandmothers would please, it was a thing per se. Just as, if you be ashamed ? It is true they are most common. wish a purple dye you must fish up the Murex; place — to the commonplace; that they have if you wish ivory you must go to the east; 60 formed the staple of droning sermons which if you desire an address such as Edinburgh list- have set the congregation asleep; but just :3 ened to the other day you must go to Chelsea Wordsworth saw more in a mountain than any for it. It may not be quite to your taste, but, in other man, so in these ancient saws Mr. Car.
lyle discovered what no other man in his time been a sort of Moses leading them across the has.
desert to what land of promise may be in store And then, in combination with this piercing for them; some to whom he has been a manyinsight, he has, above all things-emphasis. He counseled, wisely-experienced elder brother; a speaks as one having authority-the authority few to whom he has been monitor and friend. of a man who has seen with his own eyes, who The gratitude I owe to him is-or should behas gone to the bottom of things and knows. equal to that of most. He has been to me only For thirty years the gospel he has preached, a voice, sometimes sad, sometimes wrathful, scornfully sometimes, fiercely sometimes, to the sometimes scornful; and when I saw him for great scandal of decorous persons not unfre- the first time with the eye of flesh stand up quently; but he has always preached it sincere- among us the other day, and heard him speak ly and effectively. All this Mr. Carlyle has kindly, brotherly, affectionate words — his first done, and there was not a single individual appearance of that kind, I suppose, since he disperha in his large audience at Edinburgh the coursed of Heroes and Hero-Worship to the Lonother day, who was not indebted to him for don people—I am not ashamed to confess that I something-on whom he had not exerted some felt moved toward him, as I do not think in any spiritual influence more or less. Hardly one possible combination of circumstances I could perhaps-and there were many to whom he has have felt moved toward any other living man.
Editor's Easy Chair .
Scott's political career, therefore, was altogether faces most worn with age and sorrow soften and unfortunate. lle had neither the proper percepchange, and the fresh and long-vanished expression tion, nor temper, nor manners for political success. of youth steals over them again and remains. So He had the ill-luck of raising the laugh against himnow that General Scott is dead, the brave and skill-self. But happily the ridicule was felt to be superful soldier, the hero of Lundy's Lane, and Chippewa, ficial, and could not affect his true position. Indeed and Mexico, is alone remembered. His long life of there was time when even his political attitude eighty years was full of services to the country, was full of dignity. This was when President many of them illustrious, all of them patriotic. It Polk intrigued against Scott during the Mexican was his misfortune that the severest trial of his war, because of Scott's probable success and his ability came when his powers were weakened, but consequent dangerous importance as a Presidential not so far that he did not see that the time had ar-candidate. It was poor business for a President, rived at which he should formally retire from offi- but fully harmonious with the purpose of the warcial station, and he did so, with the national grati- a war totally without honor to this country except tude undiminished. No man was ever better known in the conduct of our soldiers and the skill with in all his foibles as well as in his virtues, and it was which they were directed. If any American is ina touching proof of the kind of hold he had upon the clined to ask contemptuously why Europe should go respect of the country that even party-spirit could to war at this time, and proceed to draw a moral not disturb it.
against monarchies, let him remember the purpose His military career during the war of 1812 and and the pretext of the Mexican war, and learn that in Mexico, with his semi-military negotiations upon even Republics are fallible. the Canada border in 1837, were the most conspicu- His political disappointments undoubtedly tried ous and valuable portions of his public life. He General Scott sorely. How deep his feeling was had great personal bravery and the talent of mili- appears from his autobiography-one of the most tary organization and command, with the enthusi- melancholy books erer written. But as Lieutenantasm wbich inspires an army and implies victory in General of the army his position in the country was advance. Unfortunately the lustre of his action in unique. The rebellion found his patriotism clear the field and of his real capacity was obscured by an and stanch. He was a Virginian like Robert Lee, overweening sense of personal importance and of his Adjutant. But his oath as a soldier of the powers which he did not possess. It is the com- United States prevented him from resigning when mon mistake of military men. The immense and his flag was insulted, even had his mind been less resounding applause which justly hails their achieve-truly informed of the duty of an American citizen. ments in the direction of their peculiar gifts bewil. He was too old in mind and body to plan or to conders and deceives them. They'accept it as a cre- duct the stupendous operations of such a war, and dential of general power. With their admiring after a few months during which the country recountrymen they forget that it is very, very sel- luctantly surrendered its confidence in his adequacy dom, as Hawthorne says in speaking of Nelson, that to the occasion, he withdrew forever from public "warlike ability has been but the one-sided mani- service. festation of a profound genius for managing the At the ripe age of eighty General Scott died, and world's affairs," Military ability is usually a spe- amidst all the signs of national respect was buried cial talent, and a talent usually incompatible with at West Point, a historic spot of which he was al. that of statesmanship. Wellington, the greatest of ways peculiarly fond, and to which his grave will modern English Generals, was the poorest of mod- now impart fresh interest. He will always be ern English statesmen. Our own history also givescounted among our most illustrious soldiers, and us a striking instance. Andrew Jacks was a may be truly cited as a successful General, whose good soldier and one of the worst of statesmen. ambition was perfectly restrained by patriotism