drawn: if difgufted with the whole, renounce the whole. The calculation is not long. I have made it without the aid of geometry. In fhort, I am on the point of putting an end to the existence that I have poffeffed for near twenty years, fifteen of which it has been a burden to me; and, from the moment that I write, a few grains of powder will destroy this moving mass of flesh, which we vain mortals call the King of Beings. "I owe no one an excufe. I deferted, that was a crime; but I am going to punish it; and the law will be satisfied. “I asked leave of absence from my superiors, to have the pleafure of dying at my eafe. They never condefcended to give me an answer. This ferved to haften my end. “I wrote to Bord to send you some detached pieces I left at Guife, which I beg you to accept. You will find they contain some well-chofen literature. These pieces will follicit for me a place in your remembrance. “Adieu, my dear lieutenant! continue your esteem for St. Lambert and Dorat. As for the rest, skip from flower to flower, and acquire the sweets of all knowledge, and enjoy every pleasure. "Pour moi, j'arrive au trou "Qui n'échappe ni fage ni fou, "Pour aller je ne sçais où. "If we exist after this life, and it is forbidden to quit it without permiffion, I will endeavour to procure one moment to inform you of it; if not, I should advise all those who are unhappy, which is by far the greatest part of mankind, to follow my example. "When you receive this letter, I fhall have been dead at least 24 hours. With esteem, &c. Bordeaux." Is there any thing like this in English story?: If we exift after this life—Ah, my brave Bor deaux, that is the question; and a question which even you could not answer in the negative. There's the retrofpect That makes calamity of fo long life, For who would bear the whips and the fcorns o'th'time (which I could never bear) The infolence of office, and the spurns. And makes us rather bear thofe ills we have The pains these two poor fellows took (or ras ther Bordeaux, for he feems to have been the principal) to prevent any trouble or uneasiness to their furvivors, lead me to reflect how very uni formly the contrary is the conduct of fuicides with us. One would fometimes almost fancy that they studied how they might commit the abominable crime so as to be found by those whom the discovery would moft affect. Have they wives, children? It must be done fometimes in their prefence, in bed with them; often in their hearing; almost always in fuch a manner that they may be the firft fpectators of it. Mr. Y. Lord F. Mr. S.. Lord Lord C. Mr. B. are cruel inftances of this. Oh for Omnipotence to call fuch favages back to life, and chain them to the hardest tasks of existence! Is not the crime of fuicide fufficient, without adding to it the murder of a heart-broken. wife or child? Hence you may, perhaps, draw an argument that every fuicide is a madman. For my part, I have no doubt of it; and if Humain had fallen into the hands of a friend lefs mad than Bordeaux, he might have lived to have. fought another day. And here ends a long, dull letter, about a fhort, entertaining converfation (on your part at leaft). Don't stay long out of town, or I shall write you madder notes than you received during the week I was employed on the letter about Chatterton. When I think of you, I am mad What must I be when I have reafon to think (or fancy fo) that you don't think of me? G. is gone. LETTER LIV? To the SAME. 1 March, 1779. Though we meet to-morrow, I must write you two words to-night, juft to fay, that I have all the hopes in the world ten days, at the utmost, will complete the bufinefs. When that is done, your your only objection is removed along with your debts; and we may, furely, then be happy, and be fo foon. In a month, or fix weeks at furthest, from this time, I might certainly call you mine. Only remember that my character, now I have taken orders, makes expedition neceffary. By to-night's poft I fhall write into Norfolk about *the alterations at our parfonage.-To-morrow. G.'s friendship is more than I can ever return. LETTER LV. TO CHARLES Efq. 20 March, 1779. Your coming to town, my dear friend, will anfwer no end. G. has been fuch a friend to me, it is not poffible to doubt her information.What intereft has the to ferve? Certainly none. Look over the letters, with which I have fo peftered you for these two years, about this business. Look at what I have written to you about G. fince I returned from Ireland. She can only mean well to me. Be not apprehensive. Your friend will take no ftep to difgrace himself. What I fhall do I know not. Without her I do not think I can exift. Yet I will be, you fhall fee, a man, as well as a lover. Should there be a * rival, rival, and should he merit chaftisement, I know 'you'll be my friend. But I'll have ocular proof of every thing before I believe. Your's ever. LETTER LVI. To the SAME. 6 April, 1779. It fignifies not. Your reasoning I admit. Depair goads me on. Death only can relieve me. By what I wrote yesterday, you must see "my refolution was taken. Often have I made ufe of my key to let myself into the A. that I might die at her feet. She gave it me as the key of love-Little did fhe think it would ever prove the key of death. But the lofs of Lady H. keeps Lord S. within. ་ My dear Charles, is it poffible for me to doubt G.'s information? Even you were staggered by the account I gave you of what paffed between us in the Park. What then have I to do, who only lived when fhe loved me, but to cease to live now she ceafes to love? The propriety of suicide, its cowardice, its crime I have nothing to do with them. All I pretend to prove or to disprove is my mifery, and the poffibility of my exifting un der |