there. Often in the day, as often as a thought of trouble or fear comes, help me to climb again. At night let me not lie down in fear of pain, or sleeplessness, or disquieting thoughts, or evil dreams; but let me, as my last conscious act, climb up into heaven to Thee, and there abide. But do Thou Thyself lift me up. As my Lord stretched out His hand to Peter, so do Thou stretch out Thy hand to me, and hold me up, and lift me higher, even to Thy very presence. I must look to Thee, O my God, for all. I cannot climb without Thy hand, I cannot have even a desire after Thee without Thy Spirit. But my comfort is that Thou dost turn Thee unto the prayer of the poor destitute, and despisest not their desire; that Thou upholdest all such as fall, and liftest up all those that are down. This is written of Thee, O my God; and I know that Thou wilt not fail of Thy word. CHAPTER VI. IN HEAVINESS. “When I am in heaviness, I will think upon God; when my heart is vexed, I will complain."-Psalm lxxvii. 3. THESE words dwell in my mind to-day, for they describe what I am feeling; I am in heaviness, and my heart is vexed. It is not so with me every day; often God gives me peaceful and cheerful thoughts; but to-day my heart is weighed down, and I seem unable to rise above depression. Anxious thoughts crowd in upon me, my mind is disturbed, my heart is vexed. O my God, there is but one thing I can do for relief—the very thing which the Psalmist did. "I will think upon God." If my heart echoes his words of complaint, let me not disregard the means he took for comfort. I will do as he did, I will think upon God. I will no longer dwell on my troubles, my distresses, my fears and apprehensions; I will not give way to this depression; I will lift up my heart to Thee, O my God and Father; I will think upon Thee. Thou art the same as ever; Thou dost never change. Thou art the God of grace and love; Thou knowest my state, Thou dost not forget me. Oh, how can I think of Thee, and still be sad and downcast? If I forget Thee, then indeed I may well be sad; but if I remember Thee, how can I fail to be of good courage? Thou art the Almighty and Eternal God, Thou sittest on high in Thy glory and orderest all things; Thou carest for the least of Thy creatures; without Thee not a sparrow falls to the ground; Thou dost care for me. I think of Thee as my Father in heaven, I think of Thee as having given Thy Son to save me, I think of my Saviour now pleading for me at Thy right hand, I think of Thy promises to me in Him, I think especially that Thou wilt give the Holy Spirit to them that ask. I cannot thus think of God without praying to Him. O Lord my God, out of these depths do I cry unto Thee. Look upon me, for Jesus Christ's sake, in my low estate. Send Thy comfort to me, speak peace and hope to me; leave me not alone, but come to me and make Thine abode with me. Thou art able to do for me all that I need, more even than I can ask or think. Oh, let Thy presence take off this heaviness from me; let me not go mourning all my days, not even this one day. "To comfort all that mourn:" for that was the Lord anointed; oh, give me the full benefit of that anointing of my Saviour and Redeemer; grant me in Him "the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness." But the Psalmist speaks of complaining; "When my heart is vexed, I will complain." What does he mean? Not murmuring or repining, not complaining as one complains who thinks he is suffering undeserved wrong. Oh no, that cannot be. He uses the word in a different way, as David uses it in another psalm, "I poured out my complaint before Him; I showed before Him my trouble.” There was no murmuring in David, no complaining in that sense; but only the pouring forth of all his sorrowful feelings, as we are all invited to do by David himself in yet another psalm, "Ye people, pour out your heart before Him." God loves us to complain to him in this way, to pour out our hearts before Him, and tell Him all our troubles. Again and again does He invite us to do so, and promises to hear us. I will never complain of anything that God sends. "Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins?" If God were to deal with me as I deserve, I should suffer far more than I do, and even then I must not complain. But He does not deal with me so, He is dealing with me in love, and the very things that make me so disquieted and vexed in my heart are but His gracious dealing with me for my good. Come, my soul, be no more in heaviness! Think upon God, think upon Jesus, think upon the promised Comforter, the Holy Spirit. |