absence of all human feeling in the perpetrator of it. But if we find some security from imposition in the general character of our population, we may rely with still greater confidence on the well-earned fame of individuals. The potency of Provost Manderson's pills will not readily be doubted by those who admire him as an upright and distinguished magistrate, and still less by those who, like ourselves, can bear testimony, by experience (alas! too frequent), to their efficacy. When revelling amid the luxuries of Bailie Henderson's shop, the very smell of which might create an appetite under the ribs of death, no dismal apprehension need spoil the flavour of our Bologna, or prevent us from washing it down with a bumper of his transcendent Maraschino. What delicacy is there of which we may not freely partake in Mrs Weddell's, Mrs Montgomery's, or Mr Davidson's ?—There lurks no poison in the warm, soothing, and delicious jellies of the first, the inimitable mulligatawny of the second, or the exquisite patés and unrivalled ices of the third. Uncontaminated by drugs, the porter of the Prestonpans brewery will still maintain the high reputation it has acquired; and share, with Bell's ale, an honourable, an extended, and a lucrative popularity. Our Scottish wine-merchants, we believe, have yet to be instructed in the art of staining corks, and fabricating artificial crusts. With what delicious safety, therefore, may we quaff the aged Port and perfumed Longbouchon of Messrs Somervell and Campbell, the famous Madeira and Chambertin of the Frisby of Leith, the delightful Hock and superb Closvogeot of Mr Thomas Hamilton of Glasgow! We must conclude. The very mention of these things has thrown our whole frame into disorder. Even if it could be established that death was in the bottle as well as in the pot, we should pitch Mr Accum to the devil, and swallow the delicious poison at the rate of three bottles per diem, till the exhaustion of our cellar or our constitution should unwillingly force us to desist. GYMNASTICS.1 [AUGUST 1826.] PEOPLE in general have no notion what awkward cubs they are, and how exceedingly unlike Christians. Out of every score you meet, is there one whose external demeanour has not something absurd or offensive? Yet they are all manifestly trying to do the decent and the decorous; and as they hurry by in every imaginable form of awkwardness, believe themselves admired from every window, and doing execution from thrice-sunk story to devil-dozenth flat. Of their mental powers, men in society are made to form, in general, a pretty fair estimate, but they are often sadly out respecting corporeals. An individual, at the Scotch bar, we shall say-videlicet an advocate-masters, as he thinks, a case, and his copious speech overflows the bench, and reaches up to the knees of the President. But the opposite counsel does not leave him a leg to stand upon. Judge after Judge demolishes his argumentation, and the case is given against him unanimously, with costs. This occurring constantly, our friend gets suspicious of himself, and, in a few years, joins the gentlemanly men, who are not anxious for business. But he is not to be so driven from his faith in natural and acquired bodily abilities. They are never brought into any very formidable competition; he can stand, walk, dance, ride, swim, and skate, always better than some one or other of his fellow-citizens similarly engaged; and thus he may continue to the close of a long and 1 An Elementary Course of Gymnastic Exercises; intended to develop and improve the Physical Powers of Man; with the Report made to the Medical Faculty of Paris on the Subject; and a new and complete Treatise on the Art of Swimming. By Captain P. H. CLIAS. respectable life in the belief that he has all along been a Cupid, a Castor, a Meleager, an Antinous, or an Apollo. Now, the truth is, that not one man in a thousand knows even how to sit still. Watch the first friend you see sitting, and you will not fail to be shocked with his position-so repugnant to the laws of nature. The chance is that he does not even know on what part of his body nature intended him to sit! See! he is vainly attempting to sit on his hip-joints! and that, too, on a cane-chair. The most obtuse soon discovers his mistake, and seeks to rectify the error by suddenly bouncing from the left hip-bone to the right. The intermediate quarter never occurs to him, obvious as it is. And then, look at his feet, sprawling out into the middle of the floor, as if with his toe he sought to stop the currency of a half-crown, leaping into unintended circulation! With one hand in his breeches pocket, the other arm and elbow seemingly bound with cords to the back of his chair, and his head dangling over like that of a sick harlequin, why, he seriously calls that -Sitting! Now, as it is universally admitted that we must creep before we walk, so is it equally palpable that we must sit before we stand. Captain Clias, therefore, should have begun with Sitting as the first branch of Gymnastic Exercises; and his instructions here too should have been illustrated by plates. The difficulty is not so much in the theory as in the practice. The golden rule has been already hinted at-in taking your seat, consult and obey nature-don't imitate with your back. the poker, nor with your legs the tongs, nor with your feet the shovel. Sit at your ease-but not at your impudenceno sort of scratching allowed; and never cease to remember that you are not at present exercising with the dumb-bells. The characteristic of gentlemanly sitting is-animated composure. By the by, we are wrong in stating Sitting to be the first branch of gymnastics, for manifestly the first branch is— Lying. Unless a man lie well, he must never hope to be a good sitter. Observe that person lying on a sofa. One leg drawn up with crooked knee-an arm awkwardly twisted round the neck-and to crown the horror, the monster is snoring on the flat of his back! When he starts from his doze, what sort of sitting, pray, can you expect from such a lier? A soft bed has been the ruin of many men. The human frame sinks into grotesque attitudes in the yielding down, and the luxurious rest enervates and dissolves. Nothing like a hair mattress above the feathers! and oh! from the bright, balmy, blooming heather-bed, elastic in its mossy sweetness, how like a giant refreshed with mountain-dew springs up the pedestrian at first touch of the morning light -from the shieling-door shakes hands with the new-risen sun, nor in the bounding fever of his prime envies the rushing of the eagle's wing! In Gymnastic Exercises, after Lying and Sitting, comes, as we said, Standing. Some unfortunate persons there are, who can neither lie, sit, nor stand; but the generality of mankind can be brought to do all three sufficiently well for the common purposes of life. Dancing-masters teach showy, but not sound, Standing. That of the professor of fencing is elegant and effective in his own academy, but formal in the drawingroom. The drill-sergeant's is better for ordinary use, yet smacks, in its stiffness, too much of parade. The system of the gymnasiarch alone is suited for society; and, of all modern gymnasiarchs, Captain Clias is facile princeps. If you wish to stand well in the eyes of the world, do as follows: At the word of command-" Fall in,"-all the boys advance upon the same line, preserving between each other the distance of the arm's length. At the word " Dress,”—each boy places his right hand on the left shoulder of the next, extending his arm at full length, and turning his head to the right. At the word-"Attention,"—the arms fall down by the side, and the head returns to the first position. The master places the boy in the following manner: the head up, the shoulders back, the body erect, the stomach kept in, the knees straight, the heels on the same line, and the toes turned a little outwards. All things being thus arranged, the master, standing in front, announces the exercise they are going to perform, taking care above all to explain clearly the movements which each boy ought to make. For example: Ordinary step, in place, explanation. At the word "Hips,"-each boy places his hand on his sides, extending his fingers round the waist, and remains so. Look around among and over your family, and friends, and acquaintances, and perhaps among them all you will not find a first-rate Stander. This gentleman turns in his toes-and that gentleman stands in the opposite extreme, and the third gentleman seems to be very much in-knee'd, while the fourth gentleman is most unconscionably bandy. What the deuce does our friend in the long cloth gaiters (genteelest of wear) mean by dancing about in that guise, like a hen on a hot gridiron? He is ignorant of the very first principles of Standing. Then, why will you, my eloquent and brawny Man of the Manse, keep drawing figures in the dust with your iron-armed heel, all the time you are expatiating on your augmentation. of stipend? In short, the power of sitting still is a rare accomplishment; but we really begin to suspect that to stand still is absolutely impossible. We cannot charge our memory, at this moment, with one person, male or female, who can do it; yes-one we recollect, but he shall be anonymous, whom we saw some seven years ago "Standing for the County," and he, without moving a muscle, did for a week's broiling weather stand perfectly stock-still, at the bottom of the poll. Supposing then, for a moment, that you can lie, sit, and stand, you come naturally enough to think of Walking. But a very little reflection will suffice to show, that walking is by no manner of means so easy an affair as is generally imagined, and that to do it well is, at the very least, as difficult as to play on the violin. Should any of our readers doubt this, let him read Captain Clias, and he will be satisfied of the truth of the apothegm. So numerous and intricate are his rules on this department of gymnastics, that we see at once that it requires not only good feet to walk well, but a good head also; and let no man who does not, in every sense of the word, possess a sound understanding, ever hope to be a Pedestrian. But before treating the subject according to the laws of physical science, Captain Clias considers it, as we may say, in a moral and picturesque light. First of all, he well observes, that in "speaking of the walk, we mean that graceful and noble movement, by means of which the body, in transporting itself from one place to another, might increase or diminish the rapidity of its movements, without deranging its equilibrium, or the union of the parts in action. To walk is to make progressive movement. The body rests a moment on one foot whilst the other is advanced; then the centre of gravity of the body is made to fall from one foot upon the other, &c. It might be objected, that, generally, everybody knows how to walk, when not hindered by defects of con VOL. V. G |