would perhaps have their use in some part of my journey. They will warn me against being too sentimental, said I. In the first place, it's ridiculous-secondly, it's useless-and, lastly, it's inconvenient, for I just recollect that there's a very large hole in my pocket handkerchief.

These reflections brought me into Colebrook Row, or rather into a heap of mud that stood at the end of it, for street reveries are very subject to such sudden terminations. They say that Englishmen have a rusticity about them, that only rubs off by a little travel; but that must certainly be erroneous, for I had hardly gone a quarter of a mile, ere I lost, in the mudding of my boots, the little all of polish that I wore about me. Barring the first agony of mortification, I bore it, however, with uncommon fortitude, for I knew that travellers must expect to meet, as I did, with sad and serious accidents. There passed, moreover, a young gentleman, in very tight trotter-cases, but whilst his feet gave evident signs of suffering, I observed that his countenance was calm, vacant, and stoical. Pshaw! said I, if he can bear his pinches so well, I may surely put up with my splashes-this pain of mine exists only in imagination, whereas his poor feet,-like Shakspeare's stricken deer, "distend their leathern coats almost to bursting." What a felicity there is in a happy application of words! I was so pleased with the resemblance which I had discovered between the foot of a dandy and a stricken deer, that I quite forgot my vexation, and its cause. I found, as I thought, that I had a genius for apt quotations, and resolved not to be sparing of them; they would give to my travels an air of great learning, and, if learning be better than riches, there would be no more harm in showing it thus, than in pulling out a large purse, as some do, to give a poor beggar a halfpenny.

"Give a poor beggar a halfpenny," said a man, as if he had heard and echoed the last part of my thought. The City Road was excessively dirty, but he had swept a cleaner passage over it, and as I trod across his little track of Terra Firma, I dropped the merited coin into his hat, for I saw

he had only half a crown in it. "Thank your honour," said he, looking full in my face, and then looking down upon my boots, he thanked me again, and still more emphatically. "It's very true," said I, entering into his feeling" it's very true-and if I too had looked upon my boots you probably had not had it." He thought, no doubt, with certain philosophers, that man's main spring is selfishness, and perhaps he was not quite wrong; but, at all events, to decide it, I resolved to watch his customers, and analyze his profits. "A plague take the fellow!" said an old gentleman, whom he had hunted fifty paces for a halfpenny; you ought to be reported to the Mendicity society." He gave it him to get rid of his importunity, thought I; he would have kept his halfpenny by walking a little faster-but he walks very lame, poor old gentleman, and that perhaps makes him pettish. The next halfpenny he got from a lady, who had walked a long way down the road to avail herself of his labour. 'Twas rather for her upper leather's than her soul's sake, said I; and as for that old lady that followed her, I can read in his face that she has given him a pocket-piece-but they all go in charity, as it is call'd, and I have learn'd, by the bye, what to do with a forged or flash note. As nobody else seemed inclined to give him any thing, I summ'd up my calculation; one third had been given from inconvenience, and one third for convenience, and the rest, or the pocketpiece, was the gift of pure charity.

We may say of charity, as Hamlet Travestied, does of death-that it's truly a fine thing to talk of. We all preach it-we all praise and admire, but when we come to the practise of it, we "leave that to men of more learning," and are as careful of our pence, as of our lives, when we "find they've no chance of returning.”

I had hardly ended these uncharitable reflections when I was obliged to retract and repent them. I had begun to read a very conspicuous hand-bill, which was pasted on some palings near Sadler's Wells, and invited the admirers of fisty-cuffs to a grand sparring benefit, at the Fives Court. But I had hardly got far

ther than the noble science of selfdefence, when it was for the most part eclipsed by a new hand bill, fresh from the pole of the bill-sticker,-and, altogether, they then appeared as follows:-To the Fancy on such a day-a Sermon will be preached by such a bishop-at such a church, for the benefit of such a charity, and as a little piece of the other bill, expressed at the bottom that real good ones were expected, I applied it, of course, to the exclusion of pocket-pieces. I had a fresh subject, besides, in this piece of waggery of the bill-sticker's, which had afforded me no little entertainment. Shakspeare was right, and so was the philosopher, in my estimation, for I saw that what they had represented was correct, that certain characters are confined to no class, condition, nor country. We may meet with dull pedagogues and authors, and with sensible clowns and witty billstickers; and I doubt not that we shall as readily meet with blunt Frenchmen, with shuffling Englishmen, and honest and brave Italians.

I met with no other incident worth relating, or reflecting upon, till I came to a public house near Lady Huntingdon's chapel, and there I met with matter of interest and amusement, inasmuch as it involved a question upon national and domestic government.

It was no less than a quarrel between a man and his wife, who had just ejected him from his seat in the parlour; and the argument was, not whether he should go there at all, but whether he should go there without her permission, first sought and obtained. There were not wanting auxiliaries and allies upon each side, and there were as many advocates for the rights of woman, as there were supporters of the doctrine of the free-will of man. There was, besides, a third party, composed chiefly of young persons, perhaps spinsters and bachelors, who, by siding sometimes with one, and sometimes the other, seemed inclined to provoke the opposing parties to a general combat. It was evident, from the clamour of the females, and from the swearing of the men, that the argument, if such it might be called, would never arrive at any legitimate

conclusion; and, taking advantage therefore, of a general pause, the effect of exhausted rage, I was induced to offer my aid as a mediator between the two sexes. Now, it so happens, that when persons are angry or ridiculous, they like to make parties of all the spectators, and as I had taken no part in the fray, but had been strictly neutral, the proposal was generally agreed to; especially as I had the appearance of one of the meek among men. Getting therefore upon one of the benches, I stretched forth my hand, and proceeded as follows: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the question which you have referred to me is of the greatest importance, not only to me, but to you, not only to you, but to all the world. It requires to know which of the sexes was born for dominionwhether woman should rule,-[" or man should be ruled," said an Irishman.] It not only questions whether wife should rule husband, or husband rule wife,—but also if queens should ascend the throne, or if kings should sit on it; for whichever may be unfit to command a family, must be equally unqualified to govern a nation. The conclusion of this sentence was followed by shouts of applause from both parties, each applying to the other the unfitness to which I alluded. "If," said I,

we may judge from a law which exists, and has existed, I should say that the softer sex are unqualified for the thrones, from which by that very law they stand excluded." Here I was obliged to bow to the applause of my male hearers, and also to the ladies, in order to avoid the force of a flying patten.

"But there is one circumstance," I continued, " and it certainly goes strongly against such a conclusion; I mean that in that instance, the men were the law makers." Here again I had to bow to the ladies, and duck to the gentlemen. "I will say, moreover, that if we refer to the history of a nation where that law was unknown, we shall find that the reigns of two thirds of her queens have been happy or glorious. (Loud applause from the females.) This fact, however, goes no further in support of this side of the question, than the Salic law on the other; for, allowing that the

sway of those queens was so sweet and splendid, yet we must remember, that they governed by their ministers, and conquered by their generals and admirals. (Cheers from the men.)

"If we trace still farther back in history, even unto the days of Saul and David, and if we find a frequent mention of kings, and of their being anointed, what then shall we say of this question, if in the whole course of that history, we find no instance of an anointed queen? (Hisses and groans from the ladies.) If such be the fact, what shall we infer from it, but that there were no priestesses? (Shouts and laughter from the ladies.) But why had they no priestesses? I must confess that I am unable to answer. (Cheers from the males.) I will now consider the other branch of the subject, for although it is evident, that those who are unfit to rule families must be unqualified to govern kingdoms; yet it does not follow, therefore, that those who are unable to govern kingdoms, are unequal to the lighter task of governing a family. There are many very worthy women whom I should be loth to trust with a sceptre, but they sway the domestic rod with vigour and success. (Hear! from the men.) And there are also many men of a different stamp, of indolent or profligate characters, whose affairs thrive best, or would thrive better, under the guidance of their wives. (Hear! from the women.)

"We know, too, that there are others who have willingly resigned to their wives the controul of their purse, and the direction of their affairs; convinced, by experience, that they were the best merchants, the best accountants, and the best orators. (Hear, hear! from the ladies.)

66 Upon these grounds, we may assign the right of dominion to the female sex-(screams of applause from the women, and groans from the men) I say, upon these grounds we may assign the right of dominion to the female sex-(the same tumult repeated.) I say," said I, raising my voice," I say, that upon these grounds, we may assign the right of dominion to the female sex, provided that the whole, or the greater portion of men, may be supposed idle, profli

gate, or the most ignorant. But I must confess, and I do it with all sincerity, that this would appear to me to be a most unhandsome, most uncharitable, and unjust estimate. (Shouts from the men, and hisses from the ladies.)

"How then shall we decide this great question, seeing that the trial by battle is by parliament abolished? It may be ruled from precedent, or rather the want of it, that the female sex be excluded from the sovereignty and the priesthood; but their claims to domestic dominion are as yet uncontroverted, (cheers from the ladies) and as yet unestablished. (Cheers from the gentlemen.)

"There only remains, in my opinion, a middle course to pursue:

"Let all agree-let none engross the sway, But each command by turns, and each obey.

"Let the lady be paramount in the kitchen and the nursery, and absolute in the garrets. Let the gentleman be king in his parlour, and emperor in his study-and as for the drawing room, and the garden, let their sway there be divided. Let her be a judge in fashions, in novels, and in all fancy articles; and let him decide on politics, on liquors, and on horseflesh. As for all other matters of argument, let them be considered as drawn battles at draughts; and, finally, let each sex consider itself as bound to the other, by an alliance offensive and defensive."

The conclusion of this my oration was followed by very general cries of applause, which were the more gratifying, when I considered the difficulty of pleasing all parties in a concern of so much interest to each. Nor was that my only reward, for I received I know not how many invitations to partake of porter, gin, and punch, all of which I declined, alleging that I wished to go straightway to Waterloo Bridge-at least, as much as it was possible to do so, by Gray's Inn Lane, Chancery Lane, and the Strand.

I had just reached the middle of Elm Street, when I was alarmed by loud and piercing screams, and as a carriage had rapidly turned the corner, I fear'd that some unfortunate human being had been run over.

There is something in the shrill

of a female in distress, that irrecry sistibly impels, and wings one to her succour; I flew up the hill-turned the corner-and beheld at my feet a poor swine, which was screaming under the repeated lashes of a ruffian drover.

She had sunk down, apparently from exhaustion, in the middle of the kennel, and as she startled and kicked under the blood-thirsty thong, her struggles and splashings were truly shocking. Aged-and a female-exposed to insult, cruelty, and indignity-her grunts so like groans-and her squeaks so like screams-it was impossible for humanity to look on and be passive. I straddled over the unfortunate sow, and interposed my own body betwixt her and her tormentor; and had it been at the risk of immolation, my feelings could not have allowed me to shrink from it. I should have died a glorious martyr to humanity!

I protected the innocent-and I did more, for I threatened to chastise her oppressor; and I should certainly have done so with his own whip, if I could only have wrested it from him. However, I accepted the brute's challenge to fight, and here I must say, that upon any other occasion, I should have deemed it disgraceful and ungentlemanly-but in such a cause -as the champion of humanity-the guardian of the brute creation-I thought it not only gentlemanly, but angelic; and I felt that I was quite in my duty when I folded up my new coat, and confided it to the care of a decent shopkeeper. We exchanged only a few blows, and if I did not thrash him heartily, he owed it to my humanity; for it was merely from a reluctance to end in blood what I had begun in tears, that I so speedily declined the combat. The spectators, indeed, did not seem to enter into my feeling-but whip me the man who would not prefer the praise of mercy to the meed of victory! Besides, I considered it a sin

a kind of profanation to mar and disfigure" the human face divine," and one of us, at least, was handsome.

I did not, however, resign the cause or interests of the poor sow, but slipping a crown into the hand of the drover, I recommended her to his mercy as a man, and a Christian:

<< coax her," said I, " call her, or run before her, and entice her with a cabbage-leaf-do any thing but whip her so cruelly."

"And now," I continued, addressing myself to the by-standers, amongst whom were some very welldressed ladies and gentlemen; "now let me impress upon your memories one very great error as regards pig driving." A pig will run this way, and that, and any way, perhaps, but the right one; but it is uncharitable and cruel to attribute to obstinacy, what may only originate in an over anxiety to please. I have seen a pig run backward, and forward, and sideways, and if it had been possible to run a dozen ways at once, I verily believe it would have done it."

The sow got up-the crowd dispersed-and I pursued my journey. It afterwards struck me that I heard at a distance, the same shrill, humanlike, and persevering screams-but it might be fancy, for I believe they will ring in my ears as often as I pass the corner of Elm-street, Gray's Inn Lane.

Gray's Inn Lane, by the bye, is not, as I conjecture, the true name of it; the ancient appellation must have been any thing but what it now bears, perhaps Grazing Lane, because ere it was built upon, the cattle used to graze in it. Be that as it may, there is nothing farther to remark of Gray's Inn Lane, but that it brings one into Holborn.

Hence, and through Chancery Lane, I amused myself by speculating on the faces of the passengers. It's a study I'm very fond of, and if I am in any thing superstitious, it is in the signs and forebodings of the countenance. Who cannot trace in the face of a dandy the circulation of his two ideas, his opinion of himself and others; and who is there that mistakes the keen eye of a genius? But it is Temper that writes the most legible hand in the countenance; and, it is easy, therefore, to distinguish, amongst a crowd, the pet lamb of his mother; the tyrant of his family; and the humble servant of his wife. There's that man, said I, looking at a gentleman who was standing on the edge of the pavement, his curled lip indicates his pride; but I know by the very rest