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Nlustrated by an Engraving by Mr. Sartain, from Landseer's Picture.
Or were I like great Little, who doth ring "Too Hot!" Ha, ha! Landseer, you're a queer chap;
So sweetly love's alarum,
How I would sing,
And make the world rejoice! Who see these lap-dogs at their lap.
Oh! would I had that heavenly voice,-
Moore's Vox Stellarum!
Or were I Doctor Southey, whose invention
And happy turns What life in all their features !
Have been so much admired by men!
Would I'd his pen !-.
I'd rather have his pension.
Perhaps the most appropriate poet, living
Or dead, for giving
Effect to your " Too Hot” were BURNS. “ Throw physic lo the dogs," they say
I've known full many a painter in my time, In the play;
Of many an age, and many a school and clime; And really one might almost fancy,
But, Sir, I never knew (Such is the painter's necromancy)
Such a dog fancier as you. That any one of these could take a lille bark.
What Rubens was to lions, Cuyp to cows,
Morland to sows
You are to dogs.
Goes far to settle the great philosophic schism Wags all, and satirists, and dogs of mind,
About animal magnetism. Their very tails are waggishly inclined.
There's not a dog but owes you more, I vow,
Than e'er he owed his pa,
Or his dog-ma;
And not a car that meets
You in the streets,
But ought to make you a profound bow-
They're bad enough, I own;
But yet they shall go down
To late posterity, (so e'en let critics rail,) I'd let 'em know what's what!
Like a tin keule lied to your dog's tail.
That every dog's his day
I've oft heard say:
(So shall these pages,)
And after times shall know you what you are, Very Childe-ish;
Quite a Doa-STAR. VOL. II. No. I.
THE ADVERTISING SYSTEM. cannot be worth knowing; and any attempt
to couple merit with modesty, is invariably 1. César Birotteau. Par M. de Balzac. Nou. Reverend Sydney Smith, that the only con
met with the well-known aphorism of the velle Edition. 8vo. Paris: 1841. 2. Histoire de M. Jobard. 8vo. Par Cham. with an m. In this state of things it is use.
nexion between them is their both beginning Paris: 1842.
less to swim against the stream, and folly to M. BIRotteau is a worthy citizen, who, differ from our contemporaries: a prudent impatient at the slow results of industry, youth will purchase the last edition of "The resolves to make his fortune at a bound. M. Art of Rising in the World, or Every Man Jobard is a simple-minded believer in Ad. his own Fortune-maker," and sedulously vertisements. Which of us does not, in practise the main precept it enjoins-never some respect, resemble a Birotteau or a Jo. to omit an opportunity of placing your name bard ?—was the question we asked ourselves in printed characters before the world. as we laid down the works in which their It may be argued, that, when every body adventures are recorded, and took up the takes to puffing, it comes to nearly the same extra-sheet of the Times. Here, within the thing as if nobody puffed at all; but the compass of a single Newspaper, are above well-known aphorism holds good: five hundred announcements of wants or su. “Be not the first to lay the old aside, perfluities-remedies for all sorts of ail- Be not the first by whom the new are tried." ments—candidates for all sorts of situations Besides, in the lottery of life as at present -conveyances for those who wish to travel, managed, though the blanks may be more establishments for those who wish to stay at numerous, the prizes are proportionably home-investments for him who has made rich. When means of communication were his fortune, and modes of growing rich for restricted, and skill, taste, or talent was him who has that pleasure yet to come-made known with difficulty beyond a narrow elixirs to make us beautiful, and balsams to circle—a street, a village, or a town—it was preserve us from decay-new theatres for comparatively easy to gain a livelihood, and the idle, new chapels for the serious, new almost impossible to become a millionaire: cemeteries in pleasant situations for the fame and profit were distributed among the dead:-carriages, horses, dogs, men-ser- community much in the same manner as vants, maid-servants, East India Directors, Greek among the inhabitants of our northand Governesses,-how is all this to be dis- ern part of this island, where (according to regarded or disbelieved, without wilfully Dr. Johnson) all have a mouthful, few a belshutting our eyes to the progress of society; lyful; and for this reason we have always or living in an habitual state of apprehen- entertained some doubts of the authenticity sion, resembling that of the late Mr. Accum of the anecdote regarding "the great Twalmof “Death in the Pot” celebrity, who be.ly, the inventor of the New Floodgate Iron.” lieved that every thing he ate was poisoned Either Dr. Johnson invented the story to more or less, and regarded every butcher as tease Boswell, or Mr. Twalmly had formed a Cæsar Borgia, and every cookmaid who an undue estimate of the extent of his own boiled a potato for him as a Marquise de celebrity; though, to be sure, the daily press Brinvilliers in disguise ?
was even then beginning to exercise an unIn short, there is no disguising it, the due influence; since the Lexicographer says, grand principle of modern existence is no- in 1776, that he should have visited Mrs. toriety; we live and move and have our be. Rudd, were it not that they have now a ing in print. Hardly a second-rate Dandy trick of putting every thing into the newscan start for the moors, or a retired Slop- papers." At the present time, assuming seller leave London for Margate, without greatness to consist in notoriety, the invenannouncing the “fashionable movement” in tor of a new fire-iron for smoothing linen the Morning Post; and what Curran said of (for such, neither more nor less, was Mr. Byron, that "he wept for the press, and Twalmly's discovery) might fairly earn a wiped his eyes with the public," may now title to name himself" the great;' not simbe predicated of every one who is striving ply for the reason suggested by the Bishop for any sort of distinction. He must not of Killaloe (Dr. Barnard)—because he would only weep, but eat, drink, walk, talk, hunt, rank amongst “Inventas aut qui vitam excoshoot, give parties, and travel, in the news.leure per artes,” but because within a few papers. People now-a-days contemptuously hours the whole United Kingdom might be reject the old argument, whom not to know talking of him. We pardon the tailor who
" argues yourself unknown.” The universal tells us to reform our bills, and the pastry. inference is, that, if a man be not knowo, be I cook who writes us a private (printed) let.