diment to your happiness. Cold neglect has not damped your young desires, and when the one who had gained your love was lost, you took the better part and have remained sola cum solâ.'

But to you who have suffered disappointment, resulting from 'accident,' to cloud your temper and to acidify your blood, and who go about seeking whom you may devour; we, the champion of your order, plainly tell you, that we will place you under the ban of our eternal displeasure, if you do not 'sine morâ' abandon your evil calling. You are Old Maids and this is your honor;--but if our caution be disregarded, we will publicly exclude you from our protection; if on reading our book you do not become very lambs, we shall hold you as incurable, and the host of our sweet friends shall not suffer injury through your tiger-like propensities.

"Be wise in time, 'tis madness to defer."

139

INEXPLICABLE OLD MAIDS.

CHAPTER VII.

"Tis strange 'tis passing strange."

SHAKSPEARE.

[A CONVERSATION.]

THE next, in the order of our genera, is that of Inexplicable Old Maids—or ladies, who, having all things fitting, and a wish for marriage, have been often on the verge of matrimony-and yet have remained in single blessedness-a circum, stance for which no earthly reason can be assigned.

In the Autumn of last year, we visited one

of the sisterhood, who resides in a little paradise, some miles distant from our dwelling, and who is, according to her own definition, an Old Maid by mystery. We found her busy amongst her flowers, and our conversation commenced as we stood leaning on the low wicket forming her garden entrance. We could not say that she was amongst her flowers the fairest flower, though her occupation and the coup d'œil, of which she formed part, might have awakened our muse, had we seen them some twenty years sooner.

"A beautiful day and a lovely scene, my dear Miss P. Had it been our fate to have lived somewhat earlier, we might have supposed that Flora or Pomona was before us, and done you fitting reverence.

Oh, Mr. G——, is that you,-the hum of the bees has prevented my hearing your approach. (by-the-bye she is rather deaf.) I am very glad to see you, and in answer to your gallant speech

may reply, that, had I lived in a different age, I might have taken you for Vertumnus, with that enormous bunch of wild flowers in one hand, and that lofty stem of fox-glove in the other. -Upon my word you cut a very ridiculous figure."

and ·

Spare your jibes, my sweet horticulturist,—

'open the door and let me in.'-Thank you. Your Eden seems to improve in beauty every time we see it.—What a magnificent bed of tulips, looking like unnumbered grace-cups chiselled by the hand of some 'master of the craft,' from gems of a hundred dyes."

The Persian said finely,

"Perhaps the tulips feared the evils of destiny, and so bore the wine-cup on its stalk."

and your splendid exotics are basking in the warm sunshine, and your wilderness, and your pleached

walk, and your 'alleys green,' are waving in the yellow autumnal light;-and this row of espaliers is studded with the very apples of the Hesperides. Really we envy you, and when we look back to our own place of rest, in the midst of yon smoky and sulphurous town,' were we one whit younger, and you one whit less dear to us; we would try our eloquence, and sly, insinuating speech,' to win this lovely spot-and its fair owner with it."

"Were it as you say, Mr.G, I should have no objection to your making the attempt, as I could tell you beforehand you would certainly fail. Ah, well, don't put on your sneering look, and answer me with a jest-it's quite true, I assure you;-but sit down and eat a bunch of grapes, and drink a glass of my birch wine."

"Many thanks, sweet Miss P-, the grapes are doubly luscious, and the wine doubly exhila