subterfuge of the boot purposely made to make your feet look like Chinese deformities. Madam, you would look twice as beautiful, if it were possible, without making the inside of your bonnet like the top of a May-pole; and your figure would be better seen if you did as your Caliban of a servant remarked, have less spare canvass dangling about you.'

The horns now blew, and the train instantly started.

All military tyranny, you see. A train cannot start without a score of trumpets puffing and blowing in one's ears. I wonder they did not sound the charge. But that's prohibited, I suppose, lest the omnibus horses should follow or lead the train; and, since last night's affray at Brussels, all military appearances are dangerous. What a miserable pace! about eighteen miles an hour! In England six-and-thirty is hardly called fast. Why, a spavined yankee trotting pony would run alongside of this, and do the journey in less time.'

Very different, however, was the remark of Spunyarn, who, for the first time in his life, was boiled up into a gallop. Nothing could persuade him there were no horses; and when he found he actually was going over the ground at the rate of eighteen knots an hour, without any assistance but that derived from hot water, he wondered no contrivance was invented by which a man could carry his own apparatus, and walk ten knots an hour without being fatigued.

Before we reached Liege, I asked my fat acquaintance which inn he purposed to patronise.

'Hôtel d'Angleterre, of course,' said he. 'Do you imagine I would go to any thing else?"

'We go to the Pavillon Anglais,' I remarked.

'You'll suffer for it, sir,' said he; 'deserting your own country for a Frenchified house, because your Red-book places it first; they will victimize you.'

By the excellent arrangements of these railroads, travellers cannot be robbed of their luggage, or inadvertently possess themselves of that which belongs to another; and when the fat gentleman found that he had got his, and placed it on a wheelbarrow, he incautiously threw away the paper which he had received, and which specified the number of trunks which belonged to him. He ran to inflict his load on the nearest omnibus, when the Cerberus at the gate stopped his baggage, and the red face became purpled upon being told that he must produce the ticket, in order that his baggage might be ascertained to be correct. Quite in vain he swore in good English, or vociferated in bad French; the wheelbarrow was placed under arrest, and his servant was detained. It was to no purpose that he declared he had thrown away his ticket; the object of the guard was to ascertain that every man had only his own luggage. We left the ponderous mass of humanity, condemned to wait until every soul had passed out, when he would be allowed to follow. The omnibuses all had a dread of the load; they drove off, and left him obstinately resolved not to stir a step, until the return train should take him to England, or at least to Ostend.

Wherever I went, I seemed either to herald or follow an emeute. At Boulogne, Prince Louis's laughable attempt to subvert a government began the train; at Brussels there was an attempt made by a priest to resist an arrest, and a fight ensued ; and at Liege there was

a grand gathering of the discontented and unemployed workmen to get bread without paying for it. I began to think the police would inquire after my doings, and I looked out of the windows of the Pavillon Anglais with some dismay, when I saw the troops of the line drawn up in front of the house, and my stout friend, who had some military knowledge, passing the regiment in review order.

Liege will before long become a favourite place of residence, the railroad communication with Ostend being only seven hours. Thus this city, verging on the boundary of Belgium and Prussia, is brought as it were nearer to London and Abbeville; whilst the price of provisions being much cheaper, the carriage-roads better, the town cleaner, possessing a good theatre, and magnificent inns, it is de. cidedly to be preferred to the dull, monotonous, dirty town to which I have compared it, and which, as yet, has carried off many more of the flock of geese who nurture their goslings in France.

Liege, besides, possesses her advantages. It is situated at a trifling distance from Spa, and in the summer there is no prettier road than that which passes Chaud Fontaine, and winds along the valley of the Vesdra. To this delightful spot many of the richer class of Liege repair during the summer. A man may reside at Liege for a trifle, and be able to hold up his head amongst the most affluent ; for foreign affluence, excepting in Russia, seems to be a modest competency, sufficient to support a family without being forced to hold some situation of employment. That word rentier has a great charm upon foreigners, and gives a certain degree of respect quite gratify. ing to the bearer.

I now began to cast about with Spunyarn for a carriage to take us to Aix-la-Chapelle; not that I derived any assistance from Jack's knowledge of the Walloon language, but he had a capital eye for stowing the luggage.

I at last fixed on a carriage, and, on agreement, desired Jack to lend a hand and get it out, that we might overhaul it; and a pretty miserable-looking conveyance it was.

'Here's a rattle-trap!' said Jack. I'm blessed if they would put in one of the after-guard of a ten-gun brig into such a thing as this with his lady-no, not even if he was going to be married. Why, it's all glass in front, and no shape abaft, like a thin women in spectacles. It will capsize if we carry any sail; and it's so weak in its timbers, that any head-sea will make it go to pieces. I say, shipmate, how are we to stow four in the cabin and two on deck in this crazy craft of yours; and how are the stores and provisions to go?'

With these retturino gentlemen there are few difficulties; and certainly any inconvenience to the horses in the way of a load is never one of them. Trunks and portmanteaus, bandboxes, dog-kennels, and carpet-bags, were piled up upon the stern frame to a height above the roof; whilst underneath the carriage a long swinging wooden tray carried the superfluities. We left Liege at ten o'clock; and Jack, who took a last look at the carriage and luggage, expressed his fervent wish that the wind might be fair and the sea smooth, or otherwise we might sleep in the nearest gutter for a fortnight before we should arrive. Oh! this horrible mode of travelling! You have ample time to admire from the summit of the elevated ridge, which takes some hours to surmount, the valley of the Meuse on

one side, and that of the Vesbre on the other; and even Hope cannot be flattered that a temporary trot will reduce the many hours required to convey you thirty miles. No, no; trot or no trot, you will be at least ten hours on the journey; and if you are charitably disposed, and are a member of the Society for the Suppression of Cruelty to Animals, you will have to walk at least ten out of the thirty miles.

Jack, who considered himself on the forecastle, sung songs and smoked with the coachman; told him long yarns about battles, fires, and wrecks, scarcely a word of which did his companion understand; and when he got down to walk, he seemed quite to forget that he was in foreign parts, and distributed his blessings in undeniable English to any one of the hundred beggars who solicited his charity. Whenever they came near, Jack put his hands in his pockets, and recommended them to go to Brussels and get sprinkled with the brush, and touch the bone of the dead man.

Knowing, alas! from experience, that all men are kindly disposed to receive money, I gave Jack a five-franc piece, telling him to slip it into the hand of the man who was to examine our baggage at the frontier.

We were

On drawing up at the Prussian barrier, we were civilly invited to show our passports, which Jack called the sailing orders. now told that our luggage must be taken down, whereupon I gave Jack a wink, and indicated as well as I could the man to whom the bribe was to be given. As this was rather a plainly dressed in dividual, Jack considered the money too much for him; so he slides up to the officer, and giving him a touch of the elbow, said,

'I say, Monsieur, put this in your pouch, and pass our examina. tion, and save detention.'

The officer looked cautiously round, and allowed the sovereign remedy to glide into his hands.

'You have nothing contraband?' said he.

Nothing,' I replied.

'The ladies look tired,' he added. 'You may go on:'

MARINE MEMORANDA BY A SUB-MARINE.

1st Nov., 1840, at Spithead, on board H. M. S. Howe, destination the Mediterranean: the ship under orders of Rear-Admiral Sir John Ommaney, whose flag is flying in the Britannia.

The signal made for the Howe to follow the motions of the flagship, the said flagship weighs anchor, and makes sail; whereupon the capstan of the Howe goes merrily round to the most familiar airs. The Girl we left behind us' leads the way, followed by Rory O' More!' The very idea of the thing makes a man jealous! The wind is contrary, and the Howe tacks, and tacks again, till she ap parently gets quite weary and disgusted at being bothered so.

The old ship, urged to make more haste,
No more her helm obeys;

She says her strength's all going to waste,
And then she misses stays.

Thus passes the morning. Then there is a whisper, which becomes a rumour, and at length takes the form of a confirmed report, that the ship has sprung a leak,-and so she has, in the gunner's store. room. The Britannia at this time makes signal to anchor, just as the Howe is going to mention, by the same medium, the delicate fact that the head' of the ship-not the captain-had taken to drinking. The Howe anchors once more at Spithead, and we pass the night in contemplating-those who are not asleep-the possibility of being considerably delayed in our voyage-perhaps, the whole crew turned over to another ship-the only way to stop ourselves being to stop the leak.

Meditating in a cockpit cabin, it appears an extraordinary coincidence that the last ship in which we took a voyage-the Romney troop-ship-suffered from water in the head;' on which occasion we perpetrated some doggrel that has never yet seen print. There is not much chance of our taking up the old moorings of the Royal George, at the bottom of the sea, to-night; so let us recall to

memory

THE LAY OF THE LABOURING TROOPER.

My bonny bark, why won't you sail?
Your leak's the cause, I fear:

No matter; if the pumps don't fail,
We must get home-next year.

You once could run ten knots an hour,
When now you scarce go seven;
Poor Romney! you've outlived your power,
But you must be forgiven.

It is supposed your fore-foot's sore,
And this has spoilt your running;

I mean this as a fact-no more-
I'm quite averse to punning.

To see your noble frame, you'd think
That nothing could excel you;

But then, you wretch! you're given to drink;
Excuse me what I tell you.

No wonder now and then it seems

You've sunk into a stupor ;

I've seen you lying on your beams—
Yes, 'lying like a Trooper.'

'Tis very sad, each sailor vows,

When ships disgrace their banners;

There's something wrong about your bows—
O Romney! mend your manners.

Pray take me home-I hate the sea,
And long to get of land a sight;
Your see-saw motion suits not me,
When saucy winds won't blow aright.

• The fore-foot,the foot of the ship's stem.

But, see! oh, see! in ceaseless rhyme,
Instead of being on sea-scenes funning,
I am a-ssailing all the time

You're going-what a vice is punning!

But, Romney, take a hint, I pray,
And let your course be quickly sped,
Nor, Welshman like, on Taffy's day
Pride in the leak that's in your head.'

I was not to the sea brought up,
Nor would I go down in the sea;
Nor should I like the sharks to sup
In sub-marine repast on me:

Then speed, oh! speed along the wave,
For who knows but a storm is brewing,
And we may, with your Purser, have
To pay for leakage, to our ruin.*

And now good night to thee, Bentley's Miscellany! Thou hast the first day's memoranda of our present voyage, with a slight dash of our last, just as your Xeres merchant puts in the old flavouring ere he ships his wines.

RICHARD JOHNS.

Leakage, of spirits; often a considerable loss to Pursers.

I'M TIRED.

I'm tired of all news that I read or hear told ;
I'm tired of the drain on our silver and gold;
I'm tired of the Sultan and Mehemet Ali;
I'm tired of the horrors on railways now daily;

I'm tired of apprentices smoking cigars;

I'm tired of the feuds of Prince Albert's hussars;

I'm tired of Courts Martial, of which we've had plenty,
But chiefly of that upon Carpenter Henty;

I'm tired of poor boys having chimneys to mount,
When machines are much better on every account:
I'm tired of the fortifications round Paris;
I'm tired of th' alleged lady thief, Mrs. Harris ;
I'm tired of our actors, their wages, and airs;
I'm tired of French journals and Monsieur Thiers;
I'm tired of the schemes at St. Martin's le Grand;
I'm tired of my letters not coming to hand;

I'm tired of the murrain 'mongst oxen and sheep;

I'm tired of the shootings at Louis Philippe ;

I'm tired of stone pavements and wood changing places;

I'm tired of the sports known as omnibus races;

I'm tired of renewing my knockers and bells,

Oft wrenched from my door by some highly-bred swells;
I'm tired of the nephew and ashes of Boney;

I'm tired of the deaths at Sierra Leone;

I'm tired of the tunnel not being complete;

I'm tired of the gout, which I've now in both feet;
I'm tired of my brandy and salt as a dram;
I'm tired of Laffarges, Monsieur and Madame;

I'm tired of what's old, and I'm tired of what's new,
And I think, patient reader! I've now tired you.
Nov. 21, 1840.

J. S.