harass us, now

night, whiten all our benches like a snow-storm? Can we wonder that the people out of doors should be exasperated by seeing the very men who, when we were in office, voted against the old grant to Maynooth, now pushed and pulled into the House by your whippers-in to vote for an increased grant? The natural consequences follow. All those fierce spirits, whom you hallooed on to turn round and begin to worry you. The Orangeman raises his war-whoop: Exeter Hall sets up its bray Mr Macneile shudders to see more costly cheer than was ever provided for the priests of Baal at the table of the Queen; and the Protestant operatives of Dublin call for impeachments in exceedingly bad English. But what did you expect? Did you think, when, to serve your turn, you called the devil up, that it was as easy to lay him as to raise him ?"

THE

263.

HEODERIC, Archbishop of Cologne, was illustrious in his time for his talents, erudition, and morals. One day the Emperor Sigismond asked of him instructions to obtain happiness. "We cannot, sire, expect it in this world."

"Which

then is the way to happiness hereafter?" "You must act virtuously.” "What do you mean by that expression ?" "I mean," says Theoderic, 66 that you should always pursue that plan of conduct which you promise to do whilst you are labouring under a fit of the gravel, gout, or stone."

264.

MADAME DE, having said in her in

tense style, "I should like to be married in English, in a language in which vows are so faithfully kept," some one asked Frere, "What language, I wonder, was she married in ?" "Broken English, I suppose," answered Frere.

265.

BEFORE the battle of Navarino, William IV.,

then holding the office of Lord High Admiral, sent a dispatch of the ordinary official kind to the English commander; but at the end, after his signature, he added, characteristically, "Lick those Turks, wherever you find them."

IT

266.

T was never the practice of James the First to visit with severity failures in the respect due to his person; for his temper, though subject to gusts of passion, was with some exceptions placable, and his genuine love of wit pleaded strongly in behalf of literary offenders. To this effect Howell the letter-writer has given the following anecdote :

"As I remember, some years since, there was a very abusive satire, in verse, brought to our king; and as the passages were a-reading before him, he often said that if there were no more men in England, the rogue should hang for it. At last, being

come to the conclusion, which was, after all his railing

'Now God preserve the king, the queen, the peers,
And grant the author long may wear his ears!'

"This pleased him so well that he broke into laughter, and said, By my soul, so thou shalt for me; thou art a bitter, but thou art a witty knave.'

267.

A FOX, observing some fowls at roost, wished

to gain access to them by smooth speeches. "I have got," says he, "charming news to tell you. All animals have entered into an agreement to preserve universal peace among one another. Come down and celebrate with me this decree." An old cock, who was on his guard, looked round him very cautiously. On the fox asking him his reasons, "I was observing those two dogs which are coming this way." Reynard set off. "What," says the cock, "is there no peace yet settled among us?" "Yes," says the fox, "but those dogs per

haps have not yet heard of it."

I

268.

HAPPENED in 1815 to be suggesting a new translation of "Don Quixote to an enterprising bookseller, and his answer was, "We want new Don Quixotes.'" I believe that I deprived the same active-minded person of a night's rest by telling him there was the beginning of a new novel by Goldsmith in existence.-Hazlitt.

269.

DRYDEN had three or four sons, John, Erasmus, Charles, and perhaps another. One of

them was a priest, and another a captain in the guards. He left his family estate, which was about £120 a year, to Charles. The Historiographer's and Poet Laureate's places were worth about £300 a year to him.

Dryden cleared every way about £1200 for his Virgil; and had sixpence each line for his Fables. For some time he wrote a play at least every year; but in those days ten broad pieces was the usual highest price for a play; and if they got £50 more in the acting it was reckoned very well. His Virgil was one of the first books that had anything of a subscription (and this was a good deal on account of the prints, which were from Ogilby's plates, touched up.)

270.

"LEAVE me, I must insist—for shame! I'm quite a stranger to your name,"

Said Chloe to a forward youth;

"If you're a scholar, sir, forsooth,

This question may your genius suit:

What do they call the greatest brute?"
"An elephant," replied the swain,
Bowing in self-complacent strain.
"Then I must beg," replied the lass,

"Good elephant, you'll let me pass."

271.

SIR JOHN FALSTAFF was a benefactor to Magdalen College. He bequeathed estates to that society, part of which were appropriated to buy liveries for some of the senior Demies. But this benefaction in time yielding no more than a penny a week to those who received the liveries, they were called, by way of contempt, Falstaff's buckram-men."

WHE

272.

THEN Foote published his "Englishman at Paris," he wrote the following Dedication to his bookseller ::

'Having no obligations to any lord or lady of these kingdoms, and wishing my play to have a protector, I beg leave to thank you for the neatness of the impression, the beauty of the type, and the fineness of the paper, with which you have honoured the work of your humble servant,

A

of him.

273.

"SAM. FOOTE."

NEGRO, in the island of St Kitts, had so cruel a master that he dreaded the very sight After exercising a variety of tyrannical acts among his slaves, the planter at last died, and left his son heir to his estates. Some time after his death, a gentleman meeting the negro, asked him how his master behaved. "I suppose," said he, "he's a chip of the old block?" "No, no,” says the negro, "master be old block himself."