An unholy glare of contradiction and offense shone in the eyes of Mr. Wegg as he turned the key on his patron, after ushering him into the yard with this vocal quotation. Mr. Boffin's air was crest-fallen and submissive. Whispered Wegg to Venus, as they crossed the yard behind him: "Look at the worm and minion; he's down in the mouth already." Whispered Venus to Wegg: "That's because I've told him. I've prepared the way for you." Mr. Boffin, entering the usual chamber, laid his stick upon the settle usually reserved for him, thrust his hands into his pockets, and, with his shoulders raised and his hat drooping back upon them, looked disconsolately at Wegg. "My friend and partner Mr. Venus gives me to understand," remarked that man of might, addressing him, "that you are aware of our power over you Now, when you have took your hat off, we'll go into that pint." Mr. Boffin shook it off with one shake, so that it dropped on the floor behind him, and remained in his former attitude with his former rueful look upon him. “First of all, I'm a-going to call you Boffin, for short," said Wegg. "If you don't like it, it's open to you to lump it." "I don't mind it, Wegg," Mr. Boffin replied. "That's lucky for you, Boffin. Now, do you want to be read to ?" The unsuspecting Sloppy was at that moment airing his many buttons within view of the window. Mr. Boffin, after a short interval of impassive discomfiture, opened the window and beckoned him to come in.. "I call upon Boffin," said Wegg, with one arm a-kimbo and his head on one side, like a bullying counsel pausing for an answer from a witness, "to inform that menial that I am Master here!" In humble obedience, when the button-gleaming Sloppy entered Mr. Boffin said to him: "Sloppy, my fine fellow, Mr. Wegg is Master here. He doesn't want you, and you are to go from here." "For good!" Mr. Wegg severely stipulated. "For good," said Mr. Boffin. Sloppy stared, with both his eyes and all his buttons, and his mouth wide open; but was without loss of time escorted forth by Silas Wegg, pushed out at the yard gate by the shoulders, and locked out. "The atomspear," said Wegg, stumping back into the room again, a little reddened by his late exertion, "is now freer for the purposes of respiration. Mr. Venus, Sir, take a chair. Boffin, you may sit down." Mr. Boffin, still with his hands ruefully stuck in his pockets, sat on the edge of the settle, shrunk into a small compass, and eyed the potent "I don't particularly care about it to-night, Silas with conciliatory looks. Wegg." "Because if you did want to," pursued Mr. Wegg, the brilliancy of whose point was dimmed by his having been unexpectedly answered, "you wouldn't be. I've been your slave long enough. I'm not to be trampled underfoot by a dustman any more. With the single exception of the salary, I renounce the whole and total sitiwation." "Since you say it is to be so, Wegg," returned Mr. Boffin, with folded hands, "I suppose it must be." "I suppose it must be," Wegg retorted. "Next (to clear the ground before coming to business), you've placed in this yard a skulking, a sneaking, and a sniffing menial." "He hadn't a cold in his head when I sent him here," said Mr. Boffin. "This gentleman," said Silas Wegg, pointing out Venus, "this gentleman, Boffin, is more milk and watery with you than I'll be. But he hasn't borne the Roman yoke as I have, nor yet he hasn't been required to pander to your depraved appetite for miserly characters." "I never meant, my dear Wegg" Mr. Boffin was beginning, when Silas stopped him. "Hold your tongue, Boffin! Answer when you're called upon to answer. You'll find you've got quite enough to do. Now, you're awareare you that you're in possession of property to which you've no right at all? Are you aware of that?" "Venus tells me so," said Mr. Boffin, glancing toward him for any support he could give. "I tell you so," returned Silas. "Now, here's my hat, Boffin, and here's my walking - stick. "Boffin!" retorted Wegg, "I warn you not Trifle with me, and instead of making a bargain to attempt a joke with me!" with you, I'll put on my hat and take up my walking-stick, and go out and make a bargain with the rightful owner. Now, what do you say?" "I say," returned Mr. Boffin, leaning forward in alarmed appeal, with his hands on his knees, "that I am sure I don't want to trifle, Wegg. I have said so to Venus." "You certainly have, Sir," said Venus. “You're too milk and watery with our friend, you are indeed," remonstrated Silas, with a disapproving shake of his wooden head. "Then at once you confess yourself desirous to come to terms, do you, Boffin ? Before you answer, keep this hat well in your mind, and also this walking-stick." "I am willing, Wegg, to come to terms. " "Willing won't do, Boffin. I won't take willing. Are you desirous to come to terms? Do you ask to be allowed as a favor to come to terms?" Mr. Wegg again planted his arm, and put his head on one side. "Yes." "Yes what?" said the inexorable Wegg: "I won't take yes. I'll have it out of you in full, Boffin." "Dear me!" cried that unfortunate gentleman. "I am so worrited! I ask to be allowed to come to terms, supposing your document is all correct." "Don't you be afraid of that," said Silas, poking his head at him. "You shall be satisfied by seeing it. Mr. Venus will show it you, and I'll hold you the while. Then you want to know what the terms are. Is that about the sum and substance of it? Will you or won't you answer, Boffin?" For he had paused a moment. "Dear me !" cried that unfortunate gentleman again, I am worrited to that degree that I'm almost off my head. You hurry me so. Be so good as name the terms, Wegg." "Now, mark, Boffin," returned Silas: "Mark 'em well, because they're the lowest terms and the only terms. You'll throw your Mound (the little Mound as comes to you any way) into the general estate, and then you'll divide the whole property into three parts, and you'll keep one and hand over the others." Mr. Venus's mouth screwed itself up as Mr. Boffin's face lengthened itself; Mr. Venus not having been prepared for such a rapacious demand. "Now, wait a bit, Boffin," Wegg proceeded, "there's something more. You've been a squandering this property-laying some of it out on yourself. That won't do. You've bought a house. You'll be charged for it." "What was in it, Boffin ?" inquired Silas. "Not gold, not silver, not bank-notes, not jewels, nothing that you could turn into money, Wegg; upon my soul!" "Prepared, Mr. Venus," said Wegg, turning to his partner with a knowing and superior air, "for an ewasive answer on the part of our dusty friend here, I have hit out a little idea which I think will meet your views. We charge that bottle against our dusty friend at a thousand pound." Mr. Boffin drew a deep groan. "Now, wait a bit, Boffin; there's something more. In your employment is an underhanded sneak, named Rokesmith. It won't answer to have him about while this business of ours is about. He must be discharged." "Rokesmith is already discharged," said Mr. Boffin, speaking in a muffled voice, with his hands before his face, as he rocked himself on the settle. "Already discharged, is he?" returned Wegg, surprised. "Oh! Then, Boffin, I believe there's nothing more at present." The unlucky gentleman continuing to rock himself to and fro, and to utter an occasional moan, Mr. Venus besought him to bear up against his reverses, and to take time to accustom himself to the thought of his new position. But his taking time was exactly the thing of all others that Silas Wegg could not be induced to hear of. "Yes or no, and no half measures!" was the motto which that obdurate person many times repeated; shaking his fist at Mr. Boffin, and pegging his motto into the floor with his wooden leg, in a threatening and alarming manner. At length Mr. Boffin entreated to be allowed a quarter of an hour's grace, and a cooling walk of that duration in the yard. With some difficulty Mr. Wegg granted this great favor, but "I shall be ruined, Wegg!" Mr. Boffin faint- only on condition that he accompanied Mr. ly protested. Boffin in his walk, as not knowing what he might fraudulently unearth if he were left to himself. A more absurd sight than Mr. Boffin in his mental irritation trotting very nimbly, and Mr. Wegg hopping after him with great exertion, eager to watch the slightest turn of an eyelash, "Now, wait a bit, Boffin; there's something more. You'll leave me in sole custody of these Mounds till they're all laid low. If any waluables should be found in 'em, I'll take care of such waluables. You'll produce your contract for the sale of the Mounds, that we may knowlest it should indicate a spot rich with some seto a penny what they're worth, and you'll make out likewise an exact list of all the other property. When the Mounds is cleared away to the last shovelful, the final diwision will come off." "Dreadful, dreadful, dreadful! I shall die in a work-house!" cried the Golden Dustman, with his hands to his head. "Now, wait a bit, Boffin; there's something more. You've been unlawfully ferreting about this yard. You've been seen in the act of ferreting about this yard. Two pair of eyes at the present moment brought to bear upon you, have seen you dig up a Dutch bottle." cret, assuredly had never been seen in the shadow of the Mounds. Mr. Wegg was much distressed when the quarter of an hour expired, and came hopping in, a very bad second. "I can't help myself!" cried Mr. Boffin, flouncing on the settle in a forlorn manner, with his hands deep in his pockets, as if his pockets had sunk. "What's the good of my pretending to stand out, when I can't help myself? I must give in to the terms. But I should like to see the document." Wegg, who was all for clenching the nail he had so strongly driven home, announced that Boffin should see it without an hour's delay. "It was mine, Wegg," protested Mr. Boffin. Taking him into custody for that purpose, or "I put it there myself." overshadowing him as if he really were his Evil Meanwhile Mr. Venus, who had left the dueling frogs to fight it out in his absence by candle-light for the public delectation, put the shutters up. When all was snug, and the shopdoor fastened, he said to the perspiring Silas: "I suppose, Mr. Wegg, we may now produce the paper ?" Genius in visible form, Mr. Wegg clapped Mr. Boffin's hat upon the back of his head, and walked him out by the arm, asserting a proprietorship over his soul and body that was at once more grim and more ridiculous than any thing in Mr. Venus's rare collection. That light-haired gentleman followed close upon their heels, at least backing up Mr. Boffin in a literal "Hold on a minute, Sir," replied that dissense, if he had not had recent opportunities of creet character; "hold on a minute. Will you doing so spiritually; while Mr. Boffin, trotting obligingly shove that box-which you mentioned on as hard as he could trot, involved Silas Wegg on a former occasion as containing miscellanies in frequent collisions with the public, much as a-toward me in the midst of the shop here?" preoccupied blind man's dog may be seen to involve his master. Thus they reached Mr. Venus's establishment, somewhat heated by the nature of their progress thither. Mr. Wegg, especially, was in a flaming glow, and stood in the little shop, panting and mopping his head with his pocket-handkerchief, speechless for several minutes. Mr. Venus did as he was asked. "Very good," said Silas, looking about; "ve-ry good. Will you hand me that chair, Sir, to put a-top of it?" Venus handed him the chair. "Now, Boffin," said Wegg, "mount up here and take your seat, will you?" Mr. Boffin, as if he were about to have his THE WEDDING DINNER AT GREENWICH. portrait painted, or to be electrified, or to be made a Freemason, or to be placed at any other solitary disadvantage, ascended the rostrum prepared for him. "Now, Mr. Venus," said Silas, taking off his coat, "when I catches our friend here round the arms and body, and pins him tight to the back of the chair, you may show him what he wants to see. If you'll open it and hold it well up in one hand, Sir, and a candle in the other, he can read it charming." Mr. Boffin seemed rather inclined to object to these precautionary arrangements, but, being immediately embraced by Wegg, resigned himself. Venus then produced the document, and Mr. Boffin slowly spelt it out aloud: so very slowly that Wegg, who was holding him in the chair with the grip of a wrestler, became again exceedingly the worse for his exertions. Say when you've put it safe back, Mr. Venus," he uttered with difficulty, "for the strain of this is terrimenjious." 66 At length the document was restored to its place; and Wegg, whose uncomfortable attitude had been that of a very persevering man unsuccessfully attempting to stand upon his head, took a seat to recover himself. Mr. Boffin, for his part, made no attempt to come down, but remained aloft disconsolate. "Well, Boffin," said Wegg, as soon as he was in a condition to speak. "Now, you know." "Yes, Wegg," said Mr. Boffin, meekly. "Now, I know." "You have no doubts about it, Boffin." "No, Wegg. No, Wegg. None," was the slow and sad reply. "Then, take care, you," said Wegg, "that you stick to your conditions. Mr. Venus, if on this auspicious occasion you should happen to have a drop of any thing not quite so mild as tea in the 'ouse, I think I'd take the friendly liberty of asking you for a specimen of it." Mr. Venus, reminded of the duties of hospitality, produced some rum. In answer to the inquiry, "Will you mix it, Mr. Wegg?" that gentleman pleasantly rejoined, "I think not, Sir. On so auspicious an occasion I prefer to take it in the form of a Gum-Tickler." Mr. Boffin, declining rum, being still elevated on his pedestal, was in a convenient position to be addressed. Wegg having eyed him with an impudent air at leisure, addressed him, therefore, while refreshing himself with his dram. "Bof-fin !" self accountable to me. Mr. Venus here being too milk and watery with you, I am the boy for you." "I've been a-thinking," said Mr. Boffin, in a tone of despondency, "that I must keep the knowledge from my old lady." "The knowledge of the diwision, d'ye mean?" inquired Wegg, helping himself to a third GumTickler-for he had already taken a second. "Yes. If she was to die first of us two she might then think all her life, poor thing, that I had got the rest of the fortune still, and was sav ing it." "I suspect, Boffin," returned Wegg, shaking his head sagaciously, and bestowing a wooden wink upon him, "that you've found out some account of some old chap, supposed to be a Miser, who got himself the credit of having much more money than he had. However, I don't mind." "Don't you see, Wegg?" Mr. Boffin feelingly represented to him: “don't you see? My old lady has got so used to the property. It would be such a hard surprise." "I don't see it at all," blustered Wegg. “You'll have as much as I shall. And who are you?" "But then, again," Mr. Boffin gently represented; "my old lady has very upright principles." "Who's your old lady," returned Wegg, "to set herself up for having uprighter principles than mine ?" Mr. Boffin seemed a little less patient at this point than at any other of the negotiations. But he commanded himself, and said tamely enough; "I think it must be kept from my old lady, Wegg." "Well," said Wegg, contemptuously, though, perhaps, perceiving some hint of danger otherwise, "keep it from your old lady. I ain't going to tell her. I can have you under close inspection without that. I'm as good a man as you, and better. Ask me to dinner. Give me the run of your 'ouse. I was good enough for you and your old lady once, when I helped you out with your weal and hammers. Was there no Miss Elizabeth, Master George, Aunt Jane, and Uncle Parker, before you two ?" “Gently, Mr. Wegg, gently," Venus urged. "Milk and water-erily, you mean, Sir,” he returned, with some little thickness of speech, in consequence of the Gum-Ticklers having tickled "I've got him under inspection, and I'll it. "Yes, Wegg," he answered, coming out of a inspect him. fit of abstraction, with a sigh. "I haven't mentioned one thing, because it's a detail that comes of course. You must be fol "Along the line the signal ran England expects as this present man lowed up, you know. You must be kept under-Boffin, I'll see you home." inspection." "I don't quite understand," said Mr. Boffin. "Don't you?" sneered Wegg. "Where's your wits, Boffin? Till the Mounds is down and this business completed, you're accountable for all the property, recollect. Consider yourVOL. XXXI.-No. 184.-M M | Mr. Boffin descended with an air of resignation, and gave himself up, after taking friendly leave of Mr. Venus. Once more Inspector and Inspected went through the streets together, and so arrived at Mr. Boffin's door. But even there, when Mr. Boffin had given keep well up to the mark this day, what do you think you deserve? What did I promise you should have, if you were good, upon a certain his keeper good-night, and had let himself in "Bof-fin!" he called through the keyhole. "Yes, Wegg," was the reply through the same channel. "Come out. Show yourself again. Let's have another look at you!" Mr. Boffin-ah, how fallen from the high estate of his honest simplicity!-opened the door and obeyed. "Go in. You may get to bed now," said Wegg, with a grin. The door was hardly closed when he again called through the keyhole: A RUNAWAY MATCH. CHERUBIC Pа arose with as little noise as possible from beside majestic Ma, one morning early, having a holiday before him. Pa and the lovely woman had a rather particular appointment to keep. Yet Pa and the lovely woman were not going out together. Bella was up before four, but had no bonnet on. She was waiting at the foot of the stairs-was sitting on the bottom stair, in fact-to receive Pa when he came down, but her only object seemed to be to get Pa well out of the house. "Your breakfast is ready, Sir," whispered Bella, after greeting him with a hug, “and all you have to do is to eat it up and drink it up, and escape. How do you feel, Pa?" "To the best of my judgment, like a housebreaker new to the business, my dear, who can't make himself quite comfortable till he is off the premises." Bella tucked her arm in his with a merry, noiseless laugh, and they went down to the kitchen on tip-toe; she stopping on every separate stair to put the tip of her forefinger on her rosy lips, and then lay it on his lips, according to her favorite petting way of kissing Pa. "Upon my word I don't remember, Precious. Yes, I do, though. Wasn't it one of those beau-tiful tresses ?" with his caressing hand upon her hair. And "Wasn't it, too!" returned Bella, pretending to pout. "Upon my word! Do you know, Sir, that the Fortune-teller would give five thousand guineas (if it was quite convenient to him, which it isn't) for the lovely piece I have cut off for you? You can form no idea, Sir, of the number of times he kissed quite a scrubby little piecein comparison-that I cut off for him. he wears it, too, round his neck, I can tell you! Near his heart!" said Bella, nodding. "Ah! very near his heart! However, you have been a good, good boy, and you are the best of all the dearest boys that ever were this morning, and here's the chain I have made of it, Pa, and you must let me put it round your neck with my own loving hands." As Pa bent his head she cried over him a little, and then said (after having stopped to dry her eyes on his white waistcoat, the discovery of which incongruous circumstance made her laugh): "Now, darling Pa, give me your hands that I may fold them together, and do you say after me:-My little Bella." "My little Bella," repeated Pa. “I am very fond of you, my darling," said Pa. "You mustn't say any thing not dictated to you, Sir. You daren't do it in your responses at Church, and you mustn't do it in your responses out of Church." "I withdraw the darling," said Pa. "That's a pious boy! Now again :-You were always-" "You were always," repeated Pa. "A vexatious-" "No you weren't," said Pa. "A vexatious (do you hear, Sir?), a vexatious, capricious, thankless, troublesome Animal; but I hope you'll do better in the time to come, and I bless you and forgive you!" Here she quite forgot that it was Pa's turn to make the responses, and clung to his neck. "Dear Pa, if you knew how much I think this morning of what you told me once, about the first time of our seeing old Mr. Harmon, when I stamped and screamed and beat you with my detestable little bonnet! I feel as if I had been stamping "How do you feel, my love?" asked R. W., and screaming and beating you with my hateful as she gave him his breakfast. "I feel as if the Fortune-teller was coming true, dear Pa, and the fair little man was turning out as was predicted." little bonnet ever since I was born, darling!" "Nonsense, my love. And as to your bonnets, they have always been nice bonnets, for they have always become you-or you have be "Ho! Only the fair little man ?" said her come them; perhaps it was that-at every age." father. Bella put another of those finger-seals upon his lips, and then said, kneeling down by him as he sat at table: "Now, look here, Sir. If you "Did I hurt you much, poor little Pa ?" asked Bella, laughing (notwithstanding her repentance), with fantastic pleasure in the picture, "when I beat you with my bonnet ?" |