in their due time; if when they are removed out of their maid's care, they are put into the hands of a well-bred man to be their go

vernor.

Whilft they are very young any carelessness is to be born with in children, that carries not with it the marks of pride or ill-nature; but those whenever they appear in any action, are to be corrected immediately by the ways above-mentioned. What I have faid concerning manners, I would not have fo underftood as if I meant that those who have the judgment to do it, should not gently fashion the motions. and carriage of children, when they are very young. It would be of great advantage, if they had people about them from their being first able to go, that had the fkill, and would take the right way to do it. That which I complain of is, the wrong courfe that is usually ta ken in this matter. Children, who were never taught any fuch thing as behaviour, are often (especially when ftrangers are prefent) chid for having fome way or other failed in good manners, and have thereupon reproofs and precepts heaped upon them, concerning putting off their hats, or making of legs, &c. Though in this, thofe concerned pretend to correct the child, yet in truth for the moft part, it is but to cover their own fhame; and they lay the blame on the poor little ones, fometimes paffionately enough, to divert it

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from

from themselves, for fear the by-ftanders fhould impute to their want of care and skill the child's ill behaviour.

For, as for the children themfelves, they are never one jot better by fuch occafional lectures. They at other times fhould be fhewn what to do, and by reiterated actions be fafhioned beforehand into the practice of what is fit and becoming, and not told and talked to do upon the spot, of what they have never been accuftomed, nor know how to do as they should. To hare and rate them thus at every turn, is not to teach them, but to vex and torment them to no purpofe. They fhould be let alone, rather than chid for a fault, which is none of theirs, nor is it in their power to mend, for fpeaking to. And it were much better their natural childish negligence or plainnefs fhould be left to the care of riper years, than that they should frequently have rebukes mifplaced upon them, which neither do nor can give them graceful motions. If their minds are well difpofed, and principled with inward civility, a great part of the roughnefs, which flicks to the outfide for want of better teaching, time and obfervation will rub off, as they grow up, if they are bred in good company; but if in ill, all the rules in the world, all the correction imaginable, will not be able to polish them. For you must take this for a certain truth, that let them have what inftruc

tions you will, and ever fo learned lectures of breeding daily inculcated into them, that which will most influence their carriage, will be the company they converse with, and the fashion of thofe about them. Children (nay, and men too) do most by eximple. We are all a fort of camelions, that ftill take a tincture from things near us; nor is it to be wondered at in children, who better understand what they fee, than what they hear.

68. I mentioned above, one

great mifchief that came by fer- Company. vants to children, when by their

flatteries they take off the edge and force of the parents rebukes, and fo leffen their authority and here is another great inconvenience which children receive from the ill examples which they meet with amongst the meaner fervants.

They are wholly, if poffible, to be kept from fuch converfation; for the contagion of thefe ill precedents, both in civility and virtue horribly infects children, as often as they come within reach of it. They frequently learn from unbred or debauched fervants fuch language, untowardly tricks and vices, as otherwife they poffibly would be ignorant of all their lives.

§ 69. 'Tis a hard matter wholly to prevent this mifchief. You will have very good luck,

if you never have a clownish or vicious fervant, and if from them your children never get any infection: but yet as much must be done towards it as can be, and the children kept as much as may be in the company of their parents, and those to whose care they are committed. To this purpose, their being in their prefence should be made easy to them; they fhould be allowed the liberties and freedoms fuitable to their ages, and not be held under unnceffary reftraints, when in their parents or governors fight. If it be a prifon to them, 'tis no wonder they should not like it. They must not be hindered from being children, or from playing, or doing as children, but from doing ill; all other liberty is to be allowed them. Next, to make them in love with the company of their parents, they fhould receive all their good things there, and from their hands. The fervants fhould be hindered from making court to them, by giving them ftrong drink, wine, fruit, playthings, and other fuch matters, which may make them in love with their converfation.

I

$ 70. Having named company, Company. am almost ready to throw away my pen, and trouble you no farther on

this

* How much the Romans thought the education of their chidren a bufinefs that properly belonged to the parents themselves, fee in Suetonius, Auguft. § 64. Plutarch in vita Catonis Cenforis, Diodorus Siculus 1. 2.

D. 3.

this fubject: for fince that does more than all precepts, rules and inftructions, methinks, 'tis almost wholly in vain to make a long difcourfe of other things, and to talk of that almoft to no purpose. For you will be ready to fay,. What fhall I do with my fon? If I keep him always at home, he will be in danger to be my young mafter; and if I fend him abroad, how is it poffible to keep him from the contagion of rudeness and vice, which is fo every where in fashion? In my houfe he will perhaps be more innocent, but more ignorant too of the world; wanting there change of comapny,. and being used conftantly to the fame faces, he will, when he comes abroad, be a sheepish or conceited creature.

I confefs, both fides have their inconveniencies. Being abroad, 'tis true, will make him bolder and better able to buftle and fhift among boys of his own age; and the emulation of school-fellows often puts life and induftry into young lads. But till you can find a fchool wherein it is poffible for the mafter to look after the manners of his scholars, and can fhew as great effects of his care of forming their minds to virtue, and their carriage to good breeding, as of forming their tongues to the learned languages, you must confefs, that you have a ftrange value for words, when preferring the languages of the antient Greek and Romans to that which made 'em fuch