teem or disgrace fink the deeper, and be of the more weight, other agreeable or difagreeable things fhould conftantly accompany these different ftates; not as particular rewards and punishments of this or that particular action, but as neceffarily belonging to and constantly attending one, who by his carriage has brought himself into a state of difgrace or commendation. By which way of treating them, children may as much as poffible be brought to conceive, that those that are commended, and in efteem for doing well, will neceffarily be beloved and cherished by every body, and have all other good things as a confequence of it and on the other fide, when any one by miscarriage falls into difefteem, and cares not to preferve his credit, he will unavoidably fall under neglect and contempt; and in that ftate, the want of whatever might fatisfy or delight him will follow. In this way the objects of their defires are made affifting to virtue, when a fettled experience from the beginning teaches children that the things they delight in, belong to, and are to be enjoy ed by thofe only who are in a state of reputation. If by thefe means you can come once to fhame them out of their faults, (for befides. thefe I would willingly have no punishment) and make them in love with the pleasure be ing well thought on, you may turn them as

you

you please, and they will be in love with all the ways of virtue.

59. The great difficulty here is, I imagine, from the folly and perverfenefs of fervants, who are hardly to be hindered from croffing herein the defign of the father and mother. Children discountenanced by their parents for any fault, find ufually a refuge and relief in the careffes of those foolish flatterers, who thereby undo whatever the parents endeavour to establish. When the father or mother looks fowre on the child, every body elfe fhould put on the fame coldness to him, and no body give him countenance, till forgiveness asked, and a reformation of his fault, has fet him right again, and reftored him to his former credit. If this were constantly observed, I guess there would be little need of blows or chidings: Their own cafe and fatisfaction would quickly teach children to court commendation, and avoid doing that which they found every body condemned, and they were fure to fuffer for, without being chid or beaten. This would teach them modefty and fhame; and they would quickly come to have a natural abhorrence for that which they found made them flighted and neglected by every body. But how this inconvenience from fervants is to be remedied, I must leave to parents' care and confideration. Only, I think it of great impor

tance, and they are very happy, who can get difcreet people about their children.

§ 60. Frequent beating or chiShame. ding is therefore carefully to be avoided. Because this fort of cor

cure.

rection never produces any good, farther than it ferves to raise fhame and abhorrence of the miscarriage that brought it on them: And if the greatest part of the trouble be not the fenfe that they have done amifs, and the apprehenfion that they have drawn on themselves the juft difpleasure of their best friends, the pain of whipping will work but an imperfect It only patches up for the prefent, and fkins it over, but reaches not to the bottom of the fore: Ingenuous fhame, and the apprehenfions of difpleasure, are the only true reftraint. These alone ought to hold the reins, and keep the child in order. But corporal punishments must neceffarily lose that effect, and wear out the fense of shame, where they frequently return. Shame, in children has the fame place as modefty has in women, which cannot be kept, and often tranfgreffed againft. And as to the apprehenfion of dif pleasure in the parents, that will come to be very infignificant, if the marks of that difpleafure quickly ceafe, and a few blows fully expiate. Parents fhould well confider what faults in their children are weighty enough to deferve the declaration of their anger: But

when

CO

when their displeasure is once declared to a degree that carries any punishment with it, they ought not prefently to lay by the feverity of their brows, but to restore their children to their former grace with fome difficulty, and delay a full reconciliation, 'till their conformity, and more than ordinary merit, make good their amendment. If this be not fo ordered, punishments will, by familiarity become a mere thing of course, and lofe all its influence; offending, being chaftifed, and then forgiven, will be thought as natural and neceffary, as noon, night and morning fol low one another.

§ 61. Concerning reputation, I

tion.

fhall only remark this one thing Reputamore of it, that though it be not the true principle and measure of virtue, (for that is the knowledge of a man's duty, and the fatisfaction it is to obey his maker, in following the dictates of that light God has given him, with the hopes of acceptation and reward) yet it is that which comes nearest to it: And being the teftimony and applaufe that other people's reafon, as it were by a common confent gives to a virtuous and wellordered actions, it is the proper guide and encouragement of children 'till they grow able to judge for themfelves, and to find what is right by their own reafon.

62. This confideration. may

direct parents

how

how to manage themfelves in reproving and commending their children. The rebukes and chiding, which their faults will fometimes make hardly to be avoided, fhould not only be fober, grave and unpaffionate words, but alfo alone and in private: But the commendations children deserve, they fhould receive before others. This doubles the reward, by fpreading their praife; but the backwardnefs parents fhew in divulging their faults, will make them fet a greater value on their credit themfelves, and teach them to be the more careful to preferve the good opinion of others, whilst they think they have it: But when being expofed to fhame, by publishing their mi carriages, they give it up, for loft, that check upon. them is taken off, and they will be the lefs careful to preferve others good thoughts of them, the more they fufpect that their reputation with them is already blemished.

§ 63. But if a right courfe be taken with children, there will not be fo much need of the application of the common rewards and punilhments, as we imagine, and as the gene

Childish ness.

ral practice has eftablished. For all their innocent folly, playing, and childish actions, are to be left perfectly free and unreftrained, as far as they can confift with the refpect due to thofe that are prefent; and that with the greatest allowance. If thefe faults of their age, rather

than