that, contrary to the ordinary way, chi'dren fhould be used to fubmit their defires, and go without their longings, even from their very cradles. The first thing they fhould learn to know, should be, that they were not to have any thing because it pleafed them, but becaufe it was thought fit for them. If things fuitable to their wants were fupplied to them, fo that they were never fuffered to have what they once cried for, they would learn to be content with it, would never, with bawling and peevishness, contend for maftery, nor be half so uneasy to themselves and others as they are, because from the firft beginning they are not thus handled. If they were never fuffered to obtain their defire by the impatience they expreffed for it, they would no more cry for another thing, than they do for the moon. § 39. I fay not this, as if children were not to be indulged in any thing, or that I expected they should in hanging-fleeves have the reafon and conduct of counfellors. I confider them as children, who must be tenderly used, who must play, and have play-things. That which I mean, is, that whenever they craved what was not fit for them to have or do, they fhould not be permitted because they were lit tle, and defired it: nay, whatever they were importunate for, they fhould be fure, for that very reafon, to be denied. I have feen chil. C 2 dren dren at a table, who, whatever was there, never asked for any thing, but contentedly took what was given them and at another place, I have feen others cry for every thing they faw; must be ferved out of every dish, and that first too. What made this vaft difference, but this, that one was accuftomed to have what they called or cried for, the other to go without it? The younger they are, the lefs I think are their unruly and diforderly appetites to be complied with; and the lefs reason they have of their own, the more are they to be under the abfolute power and reftraint of thofe in whofe hands they are From which I confefs it will follow, that none but difcreet people fhould be about them. If the world commonly does otherwise, I cannot help that. I am faying what I think should be; which if it were already in fashion, I fhould not need to trouble the world with a difcourfe on this fubject. But yet I doubt not, but when it is confidered, there will be others of opinion with me, that the fooner this way is begun with children, the eafier it will be for them, and their governors too; and that this ought to be observed as an inviolable maxim, that whenever once it is denied them, they are certainly not to obtain it by crying or importunity, unlefs one has a mind to teach them to be impatient and troublesome, by rewarding them for it when they are fo. S 40. Those therefore that intend Early. ever to govern their children, should begin it whilft they are very little, and look that they perfectly comply with the will of their parents. Would you have your fon your af For me obedient to you when paft a child; be fure then to establish the authority of a father, as foon as he is capable of fubmiffion, and can understand in whofe power he is. If you would have him ftand in awe of you, imprint it in his infancy; and as he approaches more to a man, admit him nearer to your familia. rity; fo fhall you have him your obedient fubject (as is fit) whilft he is a child, and fectionate friend when he is a man. thinks they mightily misplace the treatment due to their children, who are indulgent and familiar when they are little, but fevere to them, and keep them at a diftance, when they are grown up; for liberty and indulgence can do no good to children; their want of judg ment makes them ftand in need of restraint and difcipline; and on the contrary, imperi. oufnefs and feverity is but an ill way of treating men, who have reafon of their own to guide them, unless you have a mind to make your children, when grown up, weary of you, and fecretly to fay within themselves, When will you die, father? S41. I imagine every one will judge it reafonable, that their children, when little, fhould look upon their parents as their lords, their abfolute governors, and as fuch ftand in awe of them; and that when they come to riper years, they fhould look on them as their beft, as their only fure friends, and as fuch loveand reverence them. The way I have mentioned, if I mistake not, is the only one to obtain this. We must look upon our children, when grown up, to be like ourfelves, with the fame paffions, the fame defires. We would be thought rational creatures, and have our freedom; we love not to be uneafy under conflant rebukes and brow-beatings, nor can we bear fevere humours, and great distance in thofe we converfe with. Whoever has fuch treatment when he is a man, will look out other company, other friends, other converfation, with whom he can be at eafe. If therefore a ftrict hand be kept over children from the beginning, they will in that age be tractable, and quietly fubmit to it, as never having known any other: and if, as they grow up to the ufe of reafon, the rigour of government be, as they deferve it, gently relaxed, the father's brow more fmoothed to them, and the distance by degrees abated, his former reftraints will increase their love, when they fird it was only a kindness to them, and a care to make them capable to deferve the favour of their parents, and the efteem of every body elfe. $42. Thus much for the fettling your authority over your children in general. Fear and awe ought to give you the first power over their minds, and love and friendship in riper years to hold it for the time muft come, when they will be paft the rod and correction; and then, if the love of you make them not obedient and dutiful, if the love of virtue and reputation keep them not in laudable courses, I afk, what hold will you have upon them to turn them to it? Indeed, fear of having a fcanty portion, if they difpleafe you, may make them flaves to your eftate, but they will be nevertheless ill and wicked in private; and that reftraint will not laft always. Every man muft fome time or other be trufted to himself, and his own conduct; and he that is a good, a virtuous, and able man, muft be made fo within. And therefore what he is to receive from education, what is to fway and influence his life, must be fomething put into him betimes; habits woven into the very principles of his nature, and not a counterfeit carriage, and diffembled outfide, put on by fear, only to avoid the prefent anger of a father, who perhaps may difinherit him. 43. This being laid down in ge neral, as the courfe that ought to be Punishtaken; 'tis fit we now come to confi- ments. der the parts of the difcipline to Be ufed, a little more particularly. I have fpok |