propereft for them, and how much; and must not be permitted to chufe for themselves, and fay, I would have wine, or white-bread; the very naming of it fhould make them lofe it. 107. That which parents fhould take care of here, is to diftinguish between the wants of fancy, and thofe of nature; which Horace has well taught them to do in this verse : us. Quies humana fibi doleat natura negatis. Those are truly natural wants, which reafon alone, without fome other help, is not able to fence againft, nor keep from disturbing The pains of fickness and hurts, hunger, thirft, and cold, want of fleep, and reft or relaxation of the part wearied with labour, are what all men feel, and the best disposed minds cannot but be fenfible of their uneafinefs; and therefore ought, by fit applications, to feek their removal, though not with impatience, or over great hafte, upon the first approaches of them, where delay does not threaten fome irreparable harm. The pains that come from the neceffities of nature, are monitors to us, to beware of greater mifchiefs, which they are the forerunners of; and therefore they must not be wholly neglected, nor ftrained too far. But yet the more children can be inured to hardships of this G 4 kind kind, by a wife care to make them stronger in body and mind, the better it will be for them. I need not here give any caution to keep within the bounds of doing them good, and to take care, that what children are made to fuffer, fhould neither break their fpirits, nor injure their health, parents being but too apt of themselves to incline more than they fl.ould to the fofter fide. But whatever compliance the neceffities of nature may require, the wants of fancy children fhould never be gratified in, nor fuffered to mention. The very fpeaking for any fuch thing fhould make them lofe it. Clothes, when they need, they must have; but if they fpeak for this ftuff or that colour, they should be fure to go without it. Not that I would have parents purpofely crofs the de fires of their children in matters of indifferency; on the contrary, where their carriage deferves it, and one is fure it will not corrupt, or ef feminate their minds, and make them fond of trifles, I think all things fhould be contriv. ed, as much as could be, to their fatisfaction, that they may find the eafe and pleasure of doing well. The beft for children, is, that they should not place any pleasure in such things at all, nor regulate their delight by their fancies, but be indifferent to all that nature has made fo. This is what their parents and teachers should chiefly aim at; but till this be obtained, all that I oppose here, is the liberty of afking, which in these things of conceit ought to be reftrained by a conftant forfeiture annexed to it. This may perhaps be thought a little too fevere by the natural indulgence of tender parents; but yet it is no more than neceffary: for fince the method I propofe is to banish the rod, this reftraint of their tongues will be of great ufe to fettle that awe we have elfe. where fpoken of, and to keep up in them the refpect and reverence due to their parents. Next, it will teach them to keep in, and fo mafter their inclination. By this means they will be brought to learn the art of tifling their defires, as foon as they rife up in them, when they are easiest to be fubdued. For givving vent, gives life and ftrength to our ap petites; and he that has the confidence to turn his wishes into demands, will be but a little way from thinking he ought to obtain. them. This, I am fure, every one can more eafily bear a denial from himself, than from any body elfe. They fhould therefore be accustomed betimes to confult, and make use of their reafon, before they give allowance to their inclinations. 'Tis a great ftep towards. the mastery of our defires, to give this top to them, and shut them up in filence. This habit got by children, of staying the forwardnefs of their fancies, and deliberating whe G 5 ther ther it be fit or no, before they speak, will be of no small advantage to them in matters of greater confequence, in the future course of their lives. For that which I cannot too of ten inculcate is, that whatever the matter be, about which it is converfant, whether great or fmall, the main (I had almost said only) thing to be confidered in every action of a child is, what influence it will have upon his mind; what habit it tends to, and is like to fettle in him; how it will become him when he is bigger; and, if it be encouraged, whither it will lead him when he is grown up. My meaning therefore is not, that children fhould purposely be made uneafy. This would relish too much of inhumanity and ill-nature, and be apt to infect them with it. They fhould be brought to deny their appetites; and their minds, as well as bodies, be made vigorous, eafy and ftrong, by the cuftom of having their inclinations in fubjection, and their bodies exercised with hardships: but all this, without giving them any mark or apprehenfion of ill will towards them. The conflant loss of what they craved, or craved to themselves, should teach them modefty, fubmiffion, and a power to forbear; but the rewardin g their modefly and filence, by giving them what they liked, fhould alfo affure them of the love of thofe, who rigorously exacted this obedience. The contenting them felves now in the want of what they wished. for, is a virtue, that another time fhould be rewarded with what is fuited and acceptable to them; which should be bestowed on them, as if it were a natural confequence of their good behaviour, and not a bargain about it. But you will lofe your labour and what is more, their love and reverence too, if they can receive from others what you deny them. This is to be kept very ftaunch, and carefully to be watched. And here the fervants come, again in my way. § 108. If this be begun betimes, and they accuftom themfelves ear- Curiofity. ly to filence their defires, this useful habit will fettle them; and as they come to grow up in age and difcretion, they may be allowed greater liberty, when reafon comes to speak in them, and not paffion: for whene-: ver reafon would speak, it should be hearkened to. But as they should never be heard, when they speak for any particular thing they would have, unless it be first proposed to them; fo they thould always be heard, and fairly and kindly anfwered, when they aik after any thing they would know, and defire to be informed about. Curiofity fhould be as carefully cherished in children, as other appe. tites fuppreffed. G 6 However |