Royal disapprobation of tobacco

How you are by this custom disabled in your goods, let the gentry of this land bear witness, some of them bestowing three, some four hundred pounds a year upon this precious stink, which I am sure might be bestowed upon many far better uses. I read indeed of a knavish courtier, who for abusing the favour of the emperor Alexander Severus, his master, by taking bribes to intercede for sundry persons in his master's ear (for whom he never once opened his mouth), was justly choked with smoke, with this doom, Fumo pereat, qui fumum vendidit: but of so many smoke-buyers, as are at this present in this kingdom, I never read nor heard.

And for the vanities committed in this filthy custom, is it not both great vanity and uncleanness, that at the table, a place of respect, of cleanliness, of modesty, men should not be ashamed to sit tossing of tobacco pipes, and puffing of the smoke of tobacco one to another, making the filthy smoke and stink thereof to exhale athwart the dishes, and infect the air, when very often men that abhor it are at their repast? Surely smoke becomes a kitchen far better than a dining chamber, and yet it makes a kitchen also oftentimes in the inward parts of men, soiling and infecting them, with an unctuous and oily kind of soot, as hath been found in some great tobacco takers, that after their death were opened. And not only meat time, but no other time nor action is exempted from the public use of this uncivil trick: so as if the wives of Dieppe list to contest with this nation for good manners, their worst manners would in all reason be found at least not so dishonest (as ours are) in this point. The public use whereof, at all times and in all places, hath now so far prevailed, as divers men very sound both in judgment and complexion, have been at last forced to take it also without desire, partly because they were ashamed to seem singular (like the two philosophers that were forced to duck themselves in that rain water, and so become fools as well as the rest of the people), and partly, to be as one that was content to eat garlic (which he did not love) that he might not be troubled with the smell of it in the breath of his fellows. And is it not a great vanity, that a man cannot heartily welcome his friend now, but straight they must be in hand with tobacco ?

No, it is become in place of a cure a point of good fellowship, and he that will refuse to take a pipe of tobacco among his fellows (though by his own election he would rather feel the savour of a sink), is accounted peevish and no good company, even as they do with tippling in the cold eastern countries. Yea the mistress cannot in a more mannerly kind entertain her servant, than by giving him out of her fair hand a pipe of tobacco. But herein is not only a great vanity, but a great contempt of God's good gifts, that the sweetness of man's breath, being a good gift of God, should be wilfully corrupted by this stinking smoke, wherein I must confess, it hath too strong a virtue: and so that which is an ornament of nature, and can neither by any artifice be at the first acquired, nor once lost, be recovered again, shall be filthily corrupted with an incurable stink, which vile quality is as directly contrary to that wrong opinion which is holden of the wholesomeness thereof, as the venom of putrifaction is contrary to the virtue preservative.

Moreover, which is a great iniquity and against all humanity, the husband shall not be ashamed to reduce thereby his delicate, wholesome, and clean complexioned wife to that extremity, that either she must also corrupt her sweet breath therewith, or else resolve to live in a perpetual stinking torment.

Have you not reason then to be ashamed, and to forbear this filthy novelty, so basely grounded, so foolishly received and so grossly mistaken in the right use thereof? In your abuse thereof sinning against God, harming yourselves both in persons and goods, and raking [? taking] also thereby the marks and notes of vanity upon you: by the custom thereof making yourselves to be wondered at by all foreign civil nations, and by all strangers that come among you, to be scorned and contemned. A custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black stinking fume thereof nearest resembling the horrible Stigian smoke of the pit that is bottomless.

KING JAMES I., A counter-blast to Tobacco 1672 (written 1604)

C. Dicing and Gaming

For gourd and fullam holds,
And high and low beguile the rich and poor.

The Merry Wives of Windsor, 1. iii. 92

He won it of me with false dice.

Much Ado About Nothing, II. i. 291

Multitude of cheaters

Now, such is the misery of our time, or such is the licentious outrage of idle misgoverned persons, that of only. dicers a man might have half an army, the greatest number so gaily be-seen, and so full of money, that they 'bash not to insinuate themselves into the company of the highest, and look for a good hour to creep into a gentleman's room of the privy chamber. And hereof you may right well assure yourself, that if their cost were not exceeding great, it were not possible by the only help thereof to lead so sumptuous a life as they do, always shining like blazing stars in their apparel, by night taverning with strumpets, by day spoiling gentlemen of their inheritance. And to speak all at once, like as all good and liberal sciences had a rude beginning, and by the industry of good men, being augmented by little and by little, at last grow to a just perfection; so this detestable privy robbery, from a few and deceitful rules, is in few years grown to the body of an art, and hath his peculiar terms and thereof as great a multitude applied to it, as hath grammar, or logic, or any other of the approved sciences.

A Gaming-house (catching a "cousin")

I told him I was yet but a raw courtier, as one that came from school not many months afore, and was now become servant to my lord Chancellor of England; partly to see experience of things the better to govern myself hereafter, and, chiefly to have a staff to lean unto to defend mine own. And he again commended me much therein, declaring how divers notable persons, rashly by ignorance misguiding themselves, were suddenly shaken asunder, and fallen on the rocks of extreme penury: and how some other, even goodly wits,

1

circumspectly working in all their doings, have, by want of such a leaning-stock, been overthrown with tyrants' power. "For which cause," quoth he, "like as I cannot but praise your wary working in this your first courting, so for my lord your master's sake you shall not lack the best that I may do for you: for, albeit that I am much beholding to all the lords of the counsel (as whom they stick not at all times to take to their board, and use sometime for a companion at play), yet is he my singular good lord above all the rest; and, if I shall confess the truth, a great part of my living hath risen by his friendly preferment; and, though I say it myself, I am too old a courtier, and have seen too much, to bear nothing away; and, in case our acquaintance hold, and, by daily company, gather deep root, I shall now and then shew you a lesson worth the learning; and to the end hereafter each of us may be the bolder of the other, I pray you, if ye be not otherwise bespoken, take a capon with me at dinner. Though your fare be but homely and scant, yet a cup of good wine I can promise you, and all other lacks shall be supplied with a friendly welcome.".

Soon after we came home to his house, the table was fair spread with diaper cloths, the cupboard garnished with much goodly plate, and last of all came forth the gentlewoman, his wife, clothed in silks and embroidered works: the attire of her head broidered with gold and pearl; a carcanet about her neck, agreeable thereto, with a flower of diamonds pendant thereat, and many fair rings on her finger. "Bess," quoth he, "bid this gentleman welcome": and with that she courteously kissed me; and, after, moved communication of my name, my natural country, what time my father died, and whether I were married yet or not, always powdering our talk with such pretty devices, that I saw not a woman in all my life whose fashions and entertainment I liked better. The good man, in the mean season, had been in the kitchen; and suddenly returning and breaking our talk, somewhat sharply blamed his wife that the dinner was no further forward; and whiles she withdrew her from us, by like to put all things in a good readiness, "Come on," quoth he, "you shall go see my house the while; it is not like your large country houses; rooms, ye wot, in London be strait, but yet the furniture of them be costly enough; and

victuals be here at such high prices, that much money is soon consumed, specially with them that maintain an idle household; nevertheless, assure yourself that no man is welcomer than you to such cheer as ye find": and, consequently, bringing me through divers well-trimmed chambers, the worst of them apparelled with verdures, some with rich cloth of arras, all with beds, chairs, and cushions of silk and gold, of sundry colours, suitably wrought. "Lo! here," quoth he, "a poor man's lodging; which if ye think it may do you any pleasure (for the inns of London be the worst of England), take your choice, and heartily welcome; reserving but one for my lord, my wife's cousin, whom I dare not disappoint, lest happily he should lower, and make the house too hot for us." I gave him thanks, as meet it was I should, neither yet refusing his gentle offer (for, indeed, mine own lodging is somewhat loathsome, and pestered with company), nor yet embracing it, because hitherto I had not by any means deserved so great a pleasure. So down we came again into the parlour, and found three divers gentlemen, all strangers to me; and what should I say more, but to dinner we went....

As touching our fare, though partridge and quail were no dainties, and wines of sundry grapes flowed abundantly, yet spare I to speak thereto....So soon as we had well victualled ourselves, I wot not how, but easily it came to pass that we talked of news: namely, of Boulogne; how hardly it was won; what policy then was practised to get it; and what case the soldiers had in the siege of it; insomuch that the least progress the king maketh into the inland parts of the realm dislodgeth more of his train, and leaveth them to their own provision, with less relief of victuals than had the worst unwaged adventurer there. From this the good man led us to talk of home pleasures; enlarging the beauties of peace and London pastimes, and made so jolly a discourse thereof, that, to my judgment, he seemed skilful in all things. "Methinks," quoth he, "such simple fare as this, taken in peace, without fear and danger of gun-shot, is better than a prince's purveyance in war, where each morsel he eateth shall bring with it a present fear of sudden mischance, or violent hostility: and though that in the open camp none [one] might have more familiar access to the