The Priest was foremost in the solemn row,
Who mark'd her last appearance here below,
Her Rites perform'd—all usual duty o'er,
Young, grave, and old sustain a wild uproar.
Close to the walls the lazy loungers sit,
Who came to smoke, to drink, to scoff, or skit,
And others round the gloomy limits stroll,
To trace a friend's cold lodgings and condole ;
And youthful widows of their mate depriv'd,
Bewail'd the pensive moments they surviv'd
Their Husband's loss, while friendly bumps descry,
The wild affection darting from the eye;
Charm'd with the loveliness of bloom in tears,
In love's deep snare they're over head and ears!
PRINTED IN THE YEAR 1794.
1. WINE the human soul inspires,
And kindles all its genial fires;
With ardor wings a lover's sighs,
And shines relentless in his eyes :
Give me then the Stream divine,
Give me love, and give me wine!
2. Sober mortals cease to prate,
'Tis only wine can friends create:
Joining lib'ral soul to soul,
Friendship hails the flowing bowl:
Give me then the stream divine,
Give me friendship, give me wine!
3. Wine can truest pleasure boast,
Happy he who drinks the most;
He can FORTUNE'S malice dare,
And can spurn the frowns of care:
Give me then the stream divine,
And let ev'ry bliss be mine!
I greet my Muse, who may be fairly counted,
A Lazy-Hack as ever Poet mounted :
A Jade, that ev'ry Blockhead would enjoy,
But still in vain; because extremely coy,
Yet, by mere dint of serious Invocation,
I mean to win, or pitch her to damnation !!!
As all our Grand and Petit Jurors do,
And oft' 'tis known the Priest and Parson too !!!
With or without her aid, I sing the Wedding,
From scratching time at dawn, to th' hour of bedding:
Till Pork and Whiskey clos'd the festive scene,
And Tague was ripe to grunt with Catteleen.
Soon as bright Sol our dunghills did adorn,
And crowing Cocks, and Cur-dogs hail'd the morn;
When smoke in volumes roll'd o'er thatchless roofs
And Tinkers, Pipers, Rag-men on the hoofs
Cast from their Kennels and forsaken fleas,
Allow'd their blood-stain'd nails a writ of ease.
When scrubbing, scouring, scalding, broom and shovel,
Combin'd to grace and ornament the hovel:
Joan's kindred friends, a motly group complete,
Flock'd in from ev'ry side to grace the Fete;
To prove their prowess and their teeth to try,
And Potteen's known omnipotence defy :
To howl such notes as cannot be forgot,
And revel in a systematic trot.
Our Barber first, a most judicious wight,
To scalp a mazzard, or a jest recite,
Came foremost half an Hamlet to unbristle,
E're he would grease his chops or wet his whistle;
With hand so tremulous and blunted saw,
To hack and lacerate a leathern jaw.
The solemn Clerk inur'd to gulp and swill,
To tell old tales, and catechise with skill;
With Wake, and Chapel-news an ample store,
The Priest himself had scarcely treasur'd more;
And with sound lungs and memory complete
Th' admiring flock pronounc'd him a Gazette ;
To prove him hungry and sincerely thirsting,
Work'd double tides till rotten ripe for bursting :
Determined still to play the hardy sinner,
And with full gout to gormandize a dinner.
The dingy Smith, be-dusted and be-sweated,
With fresh Forge-news each straggling Guest he treated.
The Miller next came forward to reveal,
The woeful wonders of a hopper tale.
The Constable by virtue of his staff,
Arriv'd betimes, thirsting a flood to quaff;
To keep the peace obedient to his Worship,
And wrest from daring-hands the Pike and Horse-whip. The Bleeder and the Cow-leech came together,
With sage foreboding of the wind and weather:
With solemn gait and hypocritic air,
To win respect and feast on dainty fare.
The snuffling Groom, whose purple nose was wry'd,
The valiant Cobler, oft in battle tried;
And limping Luke, and Barnaby the strong,
This fam'd for wrestling,—that renown'd for song
Next Gerund-Grinder, whose sublime orations, Play hide and seek with all the conjugations
In loud debate the Priest he values not,
And can spout Latin, fast as curs can trot;
With knowledge great, and faculties so good,
When most he speaks he least is understood;
With learning pregnant ancient manners grac'd,
Confess'd a Delphian Oracle at least.
The Taylor nimble as an August flea,
At length arriv'd, to frisk the hours away;
The Clowns despising ev'ry Fop so nice,
No form would furnish for the King of L**e!
Unask'd he came and not a bit remain'd,
But Bacon-skins of juice and substance drain'd ;
The blunted knives no morsel could divide,
His scissors here the painful task supplied;
Clipp'd off in bits and cabbag'd by his Law ;
His grinders felt the craving of his maw.
Hurroo here comes the Piper and the Bard!
Determin'd each to play a leading Card;
In mirth and jollity at once to revel,
And pitch their cares and crutches to the Devil.
These with their wives, their sisters, daughters came,
With stout Red Rose long trumpett'd by fame;
Young Green so glorious in her best array,
Whose easy heart became a Footman's prey:
Nan the coy nymph, that shunn'd the Squire's embrace,
The Coachman's Dowdy, with her brandy-face;
Capricious Mag, who from her lover stray'd;
And Jenny Stitch, a most undoubted Maid;
Nell oft entangled in her husband's hair ;
Fat Peg who ne'er came sober from a fair.
Old Prudence envious of each Neighbour's bliss;
And buxom Bess that ne'er refused a kiss ;
Young widow Wag whose beart had stray'd from Heav'n
Aud sweet Miss Bab a child of twenty-seven ;
The matron Midwife brawny as a hulk,
And wond'rous to behold in size and bulk ;
A moving mountain mop'd ; a faithful guide,
To model, manage, and instruct the Bride :
Lo! Fanny Curl, link'd with my Lady's-maid,
As friends stepp'd in to see the Bride array'd;
In such rare gear as would astound the throng,
Enrich a ballad and adorn a song.
The gentry next, complete the hurly-burly,
To grace the nuptials of sweet Joan Mac-Curly;
The Squire, the Farmer, and the Farmer's Mate;
Some to enjoy the fun; and some to eat.
Improv'd in grease the Cook who could forget
Surcharg'd with Potteen and bedaub'd with sweat!
To roast and spoil, who has so rare a knack,
The world must venerate the Saffron Sack;
She tugg'd,—she toil'd,--she foam'd and fretted too,
Nay ev'n she swore the Dinner to undo.
A horde of Beggars, lazard, lank and lame,
Impell'd by hunger and allur'd by fame;
Be-bagg'd, be ragg'd, be-clouted and undone ;
Arriv'd-to give, and take a Benison;
On garbage, offals, cabbage, broth and crumbs,
To feast, and on soft dunghills rest their Bums.
At last the Priest, the Carver of the Soul,
Arriv'd to shed a lustre o'er the whole,
In learning useful, and in manners nice,
Whose looks would pierce the adamant of vice,
A bellow'd welcome roar'd from wall to wall,
But one stern glance was answer to them all.
Sure of the Marriage Fee, he mildly ey'd,
The modest posture of the trembling Bride:
Obedience mark'd her face, tho' prudely coy,
To taste the bliss she labour'd to enjoy ;
From pure incentives,-purer predilection,
Full eager to enjoy his-Benediction;
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