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A friend! Horatio cried, and seemed to start―
Yea marry shalt thou, and with all my heart-
And fetch my cloak; for, though the night be raw,
I'll see him too--the first I ever saw.

I knew the man, and knew his nature mild,
And was his play thing often when a child;
But somewhat at that moment pinched him close,
Else he was seldom bitter or morose.

Perhaps his confidence just then betrayed,

His grief might prompt him with the speech he made;
Perhaps 'twas mere good humor gave it birth,
The harmless play of pleasantry and mirth.
Howe'er it was, his language, in my mind,
Bespoke at least a man that knew mankind.

But not to moralize too much, and strain,
To prove an evil, of which all complain,
(I hate all arguments verbosely spun,)
One story more, dear Hill, and I have done.
Once on a time an Emperor, a wise man,
No matter where, in China or Japan,
Decreed, that whosoever should offend
Against the well known duties of a friend,
Convicted once, should ever after wear
But half a coat, and show his bosom bare.
The punishment importing this, no doubt,
That all was nought within, and all found out.

Oh happy Britain! we have not to fear
Such hard and arbitrary measure here,
Else, could a law like that which I relate,
Once have the sanction of our triple state,
Some few that I have known of old,

Would run most dreadful risk of catching cold;
While you, my friend, whatever wind should blow,
Might traverse England safely to and fro;
An honest man, close-buttoned to the chin,
Broadcloth without, and a warm heart within.


Oft has it been my lot to mark
A proud, conceited, talking spark,
Returning from his finished tour,
Grown ten times perter than before ;
Whatever word you chance to drop,
The traveled fool your mouth will stop-
"Sir, if my judgment you'll allow-
I've seen--and sure I ought to know."
So begs you pay a due submission,
And acquiesce in his decision.

Two travelers of such a cast,
As o'er Arabia wilds they passed,
And on their way, in friendly chat,
Now talked of this, and then of that-
Discoursed awhile 'mongst other matter,
Of the chameleon's form and nature.

"A stranger animal," cries one,
"Sure never lived beneath the sun :
A lizard's body lean and long,
A fish's head, a serpent's tongue,
Its foot with triple claws disjoined-
And what a length of tail behind!
How slow its pace! and then its hue-
Whoever saw so fine a blue ?"

"Hold there!" the other quick replies,
"Tis green-I saw it with these eyes,
As late with open mouth it lay,
And warmed it in the sunny ray:
Stretched at his ease the beast I viewed,
And saw it eat the air for food."

"I've seen it, Sir, as well as you,
And must again affirm it blue.
At leisure I the beast surveyed,
Extended in the cooling shade."

"Tis green, 'tis green, Sir, I assure ye." "Green!" cries the other in a fury

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Why, Sir, d'ye think I've lost my eyes?" ""Twere no great loss," the friend replies, "For if they always serve you thus, You'll find them of but little use."

So high at last the contest rose,
From words they almost came to blows-
When luckily came by, a third;
To him the question they referred,
And begged he'd tell them if he knew,
Whether the thing was green or blue.

"Sirs," cries the umpire, " cease your pother,
The creature's neither one nor t'other.
I caught the animal last night,
And viewed it o'er by candlelight;
I marked it well-'twas black as jet-
You stare-but, sirs, I've got it yet,
And can produce it,"-" Pray, Sir, do;
I'll lay my life the thing is blue."

"And I'll be sworn that when you've seen
The reptile, you'll pronounce it green."
"Well, then, at once to end the doubt,"
Replies the man, "I'll turn him out;
And when before your eyes I've set him,
If you don't find him black, I'll eat him,"
He said then full before their sight
Produced the beast-and lo-'twas white.
Both stared; the man look wondrous wise.
"My children," the chameleon cries,
(Then first the creature found a tongue,)
You are all right and all are wrong:
When next you talk of what you view,
Think others right as well as you,
Nor wonder if you find that none
Prefer your eyesight to their own."


REPORT OF AN ADJUDGED CASE-Not to be found in any of the books.-Cowper.

Between Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose,
The spectacles set them unhappily wrong;
The point in dispute was, as all the world knows,
To which the said spectacles ought to belong.

So the tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause,
With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning;
While chief baron Ear sat to balance the laws,

So famed for his talent in nicely discerning. In behalf of the Nose, it will quickly appear, And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find, That the nose has had spectacles always in wear, Which amounts to possession time out of mind. Then holding the spectacles up to the courtYour lordship observes they are made with a straddle, As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short, Designed to fit close to it, just like a saddle. Again, would your lordship a moment suppose ('Tis a case that has happened, and may be again) That the visage or countenance had not a Nose,

Pray who would or who could wear spectacles then? On the whole it appears, and my argument shows, With a reasoning the court will never condemn, That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose And the Nose was as plainly intended for them. Then shifting his side, as a lawyer knows how, He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes; But what were his arguments few people know,

For the court did not think they were equally wise. So his lordship decreed, with a grave solemn voice, Decisive and clear, without one if or but— That whenever the Nose put his spectacles on, By day-light, or candle-light,-Eyes should be shut.


PAPER.-A conversational pleasantry.-Dr. Franklin.
Some wit of old--such wits of old there were-
Whose hints showed meaning, whose allusions care,
-By one brave stroke to mark all human kind,
Called clear blank paper every infant mind;
Where still, as opening sense her dictates wrote,
• Fair Virtue put a seal or Vice a blot.

The thought was happy, pertinent and true!—
Methinks a genius might the plan pursue.
I-(can you pardon my presumption ?)—I
No wit, no genius, yet, for once will try.
Various the papers, various wants produce;
The wants of fashion, elegance and use.
Men are as various; and, if right I scan,
Each sort of paper represents some man.
Pray note the fop;-half powder, and half lace!
Nice as a bandbox were his dwelling-place.
He's the gilt-paper which apart you store,
And lock from vulgar hands in the scrutoire.
Mechanics, servants, farmers, and so forth,
Are copy-paper of inferior worth;

Less priz'd; more useful; for your desk decreed;
Free to all pens, and prompt at every need.

The wretch whom avarice bids to pinch and spare,
Starve, cheat, and pilfer, to enrich an heir,
Is coarse brown paper; such as pedlars choose
To wrap up wares which better men will use.
Take next the miser's contrast; who destroys
Health, fame, and fortune, in a round of joys.
Will any paper match him? Yes, throughout;
He's a true sinking paper, past all doubt.

The retail politician's anxious thought

Deems this side always right, and that stark naught:

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