A

Virtuofo had a mind to fee

One that would never discontented be,
But in a carelefs way to all
agree;
He had a fervant much of #fop's kind,
Of perfonage uncouth, but sprightly mind:
Humpus, fays he, I order that you find.
Out fuch a man, with fuch a character,
He, in this paper now I give you here,
Or I will lug your ears, or crack your pate,
Or rather you shall meet with a worse fate,
For I will break your back, and set you strait.
Bring him to dinner. Humpus foon withdrew,
Was fafe, as having fuch a one in view,
At Covent Garden dial, whom he found
Sitting with thoughtless air, and look profound.
Who folitary gaping without care,

Seem'd to fay, who is't will go any where?
Says Humpus, Sir, my mafter bad me pray
Your company to dine with him to-day.
He fnuffs; then follows, up the ftairs he goes,
Never pulls off his hat, nor cleans his fhoes,
But looking round him, faw a handfome room,
And did not much repent that he was come;
Close to the fire he draws an elbow-chair,
And lolling eafy does for fleep prepare.
In comes the family, but he fits ftill,
Thinks, let them take the other chairs that will.

The

The mafter thus accofts him, "Sir, you're wet
"Pray have a cushion underneath your feet..
Thinks he, if I do spoil it, need I care?
I fee he has eleven more to spare..

Dinner's brought up, the wife is bid retreat,
And at the upper end must be his feat.
This is not very ufual thinks the clown,
But is not all the family his own?

And why should I, for contradiction's fake,
Lofe a good dinner, which he bids me take?
If from his table the difcarded be,

What need I care, there is the more for me.
After a while the daughter's bid to stand,
And bring him whatsoever he'll command.
Thinks he, the better from the fairer hand.
Young mafter next must rise to fill him wine,
And ftarve himself to see the booby dine.

He does't. The father afks, what have you there?
How dare you give a ftranger vinegar?
Sir, 'twas Champaigne I gave him; Sir, indeed!
Take him and fcourge him 'till the rafcal bleed;
Don't fpare him for his tears nor age: I'll try
If cat and nine tails can excuse a lye.

Thinks the clown, that 'twas wine I do believe :
But fuch young rogues are apteft to deceive;
He's none of mine, but his own flesh and blood,
And how know I but't may be for his good?
When the defert came on, and jellies brought,
Then was the difmal scene of finding fault,
They were fuch hideous, filthy, pois'nous stuff,
Could not be rail'd at, nor reveng'd enough.

Humpus

A

Virtuofo had a mind to fee

One that would never difcontented be,
But in a carelefs way to all agree;
He had a fervant much of #fop's kind,
Of perfonage uncouth, but sprightly mind:
Humpus, fays he, I order that you find.
Out fuch a man, with fuch a character,
He, in this paper now I give you here,
Or I will lug your ears, or crack your pate,
Or rather you shall meet with a worse fate,
For I will break your back, and fet you strait.
Bring him to dinner. Humpus foon withdrew,
Was fafe, as having fuch a one in view,
At Covent Garden dial, whom he found
Sitting with thoughtless air, and look profound...
Who folitary gaping without care,

Seem'd to fay, who is't will go any where?
Says Humpus, Sir, my mafter bad me pray
Your company to dine with him to-day.
He fnuffs; then follows, up the ftairs he goes,
Never pulls off his hat, nor cleans his shoes,
But looking round him, faw a handfome room,
And did not much repent that he was come;
Close to the fire he draws an elbow-chair,
And lolling eafy does for fleep prepare.
In comes the family, but he fits ftill,
Thinks, let them take the other chairs that will.

The

The mafter thus accofts him, "Sir, you're wet
Pray have a cushion underneath your feet.
Thinks he, if I do spoil it, need I care?
I fee he has eleven more to spare.

Dinner's brought up, the wife is bid retreat,
And at the upper end must be his feat.
This is not very ufual thinks the clown,
But is not all the family his own?:
And why should I, for contradiction's fake,
Lofe a good dinner, which he bids me take?
If from his table the difcarded be,

What need I care, there is the more for me.
After a while the daughter's bid to stand,
And bring him whatsoever he'll command.
Thinks he, the better from the fairer hand.
Young mafter next must rise to fill him wine,
And ftarve himself to fee the booby dine.
He does 't. The father asks, what have you there?
How dare you give a stranger vinegar?
Sir, 'twas Champaigne I gave him; Sir, indeed!
Take him and fcourge him 'till the rafcal bleed;
Don't spare him for his tears nor age: I'll try
If cat and nine tails can excufe a lye.
Thinks the clown, that 'twas wine I do believe:
But fuch young rogues are apteft to deceive;
He's none of mine, but his own flesh and blood,
And how know I but't may be for his good?
When the defert came on, and jellies brought,
Then was the difmal fcene of finding fault,
They were fuch hideous, filthy, pois'nous ftuff,
Could not be rail'd at, nor reveng'd enough.

Tumpus

Humpus was afk'd who made 'em. Trembling he
Said, "Sir, it was my lady gave 'em me."
I'll take care the fhall no more poison give,
I'll burn the witch; 'ti'n't fitting fhe fhould live;
Set faggots in the court, I'll make her fry,
And pray, good Sir, may't please you to be by.
Then fmiling, fays the clown, upon my life,
A pretty fancy this to burn one's wife!
And fince that really is your defign,

Pray let me juft ftep home, and fetch you mine.

The THREE WARNINGS. A TALE. —
THE tree of deepest root is found

TH

Least willing still to quit the ground;
"Twas therefore faid, by ancient fages,
That love of life increas'd with years
So much, that in our latter ftages,
When pains grow sharp, and sickness rages,
The greatest love of life appears.
This great affection to believe,
Which all confefs, but few believe,
If old affertions can't prevail,
Be pleas'd to hear a modern tale.

When sports went round, and all were gay,
On neighbour Dobfon's wedding-day,
Death call'd afide the jocund groom
With him into another room;

And looking grave, You muft,' fays he,

Quit your sweet bride, and come with me.'

• With