Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

at this moment probably the very luckiest man in this kingdom."

"Why-you don't mean to say he's drawn a prize in the lottery?"-exclaimed Tag-rag, pricking up his ears. "Pho! my dear sir, that is a mere trifle compared with the good fortune that has befallen him. He turns out to be the undoubted owner of an estate worth at least ten thousand a-year, besides a great accumulation of ready money."

"Ten thousand a-year, sir!-My Titmouse!-Tittlebat Titmouse!Ten thousand a-year!" faltered Tagrag, after a pause.

" I have as little doubt of the fact, as I have that you yesterday turned him out of doors."

"But-who could have dreamt it? How was-how was I to know it?"

"That's the fact, however," said Gammon, shrugging his shoulders. Tag-rag wriggled about in his chair, put his hands in and out of his pockets, scratched his head, and continued staring open-mouthed at the bearer of such astounding intelligence. "Perhaps all this is meant as a joke, sir," said he" if so it's it's a very".

"It's one of his solicitors, who were fortunate enough to make the discovery, that tells you. I solemnly assure you of the fact, Mr Tag-rag. Ten thousand a-year, at the least, is Mr Titmouse now the real owner of." "Why, that's two hundred thousand pounds, sir!"-exclaimed Tag-rag, with an awe-struck air.

"At the very least".

"Lord, Mr Gammon! - Excuse me, sir, but how did you find it out?" "Mere accident-mere accident,

sir."

[blocks in formation]

"Intelligent! Mr Gammon! you should only have known him as I have known him!- Well, to be sure! -Lord! His only fault was, that he was above his business; but when one comes to think of it, how could it be otherwise? From the time I first clapped eyes on him-I-I-knew he was-a superior article-quite superior-you know what I mean, sir? He couldn't help it, of course!To be sure- he never was much liked by the other young men; but that was jealousy! - all jealousy; I saw that all the while." Here he looked at the door, and added in a very low tone, "Many sleepless nights has their bad treatment of Mr Titmouse cost me! - Even I, now and then, used to look and speak sharply to him-just to keep him, as it were, down to the mark of the others-he was so uncommon handsome, and genteel in his manner, sir. Hang me, if I didn't tell Mrs Tag-rag the very first day he came to me, that he was a gentleman born-or ought to have been one."

Now, do you suppose, acute reader, that Mr Tag-rag was insincere in all this? By no means. He spoke the real dictates of his heart, unaware of the sudden change which had taken place in his feelings. It certainly has an ugly look-but it was the nature of the beast; his eye suddenly caught a glimpse of the golden calf, and he instinctively fell down and worshipped it. "Well-at all events," said Mr Gammon, scarcely able to keep a serious expression on his face"though not a gentleman born, he'll live like a gentleman-and spend his money like one, too."

"I-I-dare say-he will! I wonder how he will get through a quarter of it!-what do you think he'll do, sir?"

"Heaven only knows-he may do just what he likes."

"I declare I feel as if I shouldn't be quite right again for the rest of the day! - I own to you, sir, that all yesterday and to-day I've been on the point of going to Mr Titmouse's lodgingsto apologize for for Good gracious me! one can't take it all in at once-Ten thousand a-year! - Many a lord hasn't got more-some not as much, I'll be bound!- Dear me, what will he do!Well, one thing I'm sure of he'll never have a truer friend than plain Thomas Tag-rag, though I've not always been a-flattering him-I respected him too much! - The many little things I've borne with in Titmouse, that in any one else I'd have -But why didn't he tell me, sir? We should have understood one another in a moment." - Here he paused abruptly; for his breath seemed suddenly taken away, as he reviewed the series of indignities which he had latterly inflicted on Titmouse-the kind of life which that amiable young gentleman had led in his establishment.

Never had the keen Gammon enjoyed any thing more exquisitely than the scene which I have been describing. To a man of his practical sagacity in the affairs of life, and knowledge of human nature, nothing could appear more ludicrously contemptible than the conduct of poor Tag-rag. How differently are the minds of men constituted! How Gammon despised Tag-rag! and how the reader must respect Gammon!

"Now, may I take for granted, Mr Tag-rag, that we understand each other?" enquired Gammon.

" Yes, sir," replied Tag-rag, meekly. "But do you think Mr Titmouse will ever forgive or forget the little misunderstanding we've lately had? If I could but explain to him how I have been acting a part towards him-all for his good!"

"You may have opportunities for doing so, if you are really so disposed, Mr Tag-rag; for I have something seriously to propose to you. Circumstances render it desirable that for some little time this important affair should be kept as quiet as possible; and it is Mr Titmouse's wish, and ours-as his confidential professional advisers that for some few months he should continue in your establishment, and apparently in your service as before."

"In my service!-my service!" interrupted Tag-rag, opening his eyes to their utmost. "I sha'n't know how to behave in my own premises! Have a man with ten thousand a-year behind my counter, sir? I might as well have the Lord Mayor! Sir, it can't-it can't be. Now, if Mr Titmouse chose to become a partner in the house -ay, there might be something in that -he needn't have any trouble-be only a sleeping partner." Tag-rag warmed with the thought. "Really, sir, that wouldn't be so much amiss-would it?" Gammon assured him that it was out of the question; and gave him

some of the reasons for the proposal which he (Mr Gammon) had been making. While Gammon fancied that Tag-rag was paying profound attention to what he was saying, Tag-rag's thoughts had shot far a-head. He had an only child-a daughter, about twenty years old-Miss Tabitha Tagrag; and the delightful possibility of her by-and-by becoming MRS TITMOUSE, put her amiable parent into a perspiration. Into the proposal just made by Mr Gammon he fell with great eagerness, which he attempted to conceal-for what innumerable opportunities could it not afford him for bringing about the desire of his heart-for throwing the lovely young couple into each other's way, endearing them to each other! Oh, delightful! It really looked almost as if fate had determined that the thing should come to pass! If Mr Titmouse did not dine with him, Mrs, and Miss Tag-rag, at Satin Lodge, Clapham, on the very next Sunday, it should, Tagrag resolved, be owing to no fault of his. - Mr Gammon having arranged every thing exactly as he had desired, and having again enjoined Mr Tag-rag to absolute secresy, took his departure. Mr Tag-rag, in his excitement, thrust out his hand, and grasped that of Gammon, which was extended towards him somewhat coldly and reluctantly. Tagrag attended him with extreme obsequiousness to the door; and on his departure, walked back rapidly to his own room, and sat down for nearly half an hour in deep thought. Abruptly rising, at length, he clapped his hat on his head, and saying that he should soon be back, hurried out to call upon his future sonin-law, full of affectionate anxiety concerning his health-and vowing within himself, that thenceforth it should be the study of his life to make his daughter and Titmouse happy! There could be no doubt of the reality of the event just communicated to him by Mr Gammon; for he was a well-known solicitor, he had had an interview on important business with Titmouse a fortnight ago, which could have been nothing but the prodigious event just communicated to himself. Such things had happened to others-why not to Tittlebat Titmouse? In short, Tag-rag had no doubt on the matter.

He found Titmouse not at home; so he left a most particularly civil message, half a dozen times repeated, with Mrs Squallop-to the effect that he, Mr Tag-rag, should be only too

happy to see Mr Titmouse at No. 375, Oxford Street, whenever it might suit his convenience; that he was most deeply concerned to hear of Mr Titmouse's indisposition, and anxious to learn from himself that he had recovered, &c. &c. &c.; -all which, together with one or two other little matters, which Mrs Squallop could not help putting together, satisfied that shrewd lady that "something was in the wind about Mr Titmouse;" and made her reflect rather anxiously on one or two violent scenes she had had with him, and which she was now ready entirely to forget and forgive. Having thus done all that at present was in his power to forward the thing, the anxious and excited Tag-rag returned to his shop; on entering which, one Lutestring, his principal young man, eagerly apprised him of a claim which he had, as he imagined, only the moment before established to thethanks of Mr Tag-rag, by having "bundled off, neck and crop, that hodious Titmouse," who, about five minutes before, had, it seemed, had the "impudence" to present himself at the shop-door, and walk in as if nothing had happened!! [Titmouse had so presented himself, in consequence of a call from Mr Gammon, immediately after his interview with Tag-rag.]

"You-ordered-Mr Titmouseoff!!" exclaimed Tag-rag, starting back aghast, and stopping his voluble and officious assistant.

"Of course, sir-after what happened yester"—

"Who authorized, you, Mr Lutestring?" enquired Tag-rag, striving to choke down the rage that was rising within him.

"

that".

Why, sir, I really supposed

"You supposed! You're a meddling, impertinent, disgusting Suddenly his face was overspread with smiles, as three or four elegantly dressed customers entered, whom he received with profuse obeisances. But when their backs were turned, he directed a lightning look towards Lutestring, and retreated once more to his room, to meditate on the agitating events of the last hour. The extraordinary alteration in Mr Tagrag's behaviour was attributed by his shopmen to his having been frightened out of his wits by the threats of Titmouse's lawyer-for such it was clear the stranger was; and more than one

of them stored it up in their minds as a useful precedent against some future occasion.

Twice afterwards during the day did Tag-rag call at Titmouse's lodgings-but in vain; and on returning the third time felt not a little disquieted. He determined, however, to call the first thing on the ensuing morning; if he should then fail of seeing Mr Titmouse, he was resolved to go to Messrs Quirk, Gammon, and Snap-and besides, address a very affectionate letter to Mr Titmouse. How totally changed had become all his feelings towards that gentleman within the last few hours! The more Tagrag reflected on Titmouse's conduct, the more he saw in it to approve of. How steady and regular had he been in his habits! how civil and obliging! how patient of rebuke! how pleasing in his manners to the customers! Surely, surely, thought Tag-rag, Titmouse can't have been four long years in my employ without getting a-sort of a-feeling of attachment to mehe'd have left long ago if he hadn't! It was true there had now and then been tiffs between them; but who could agree always? Even Mrs Tagrag and he, when they were courting, often fell out with one another. Tagrag was now ready to forget and forgive all-he had never meant any harm to Titmouse. He believed that poor Tittlebat was an orphan, poor soul! alone in the wide world-now he would become the prey of designing strangers. Tag-rag did not like the appearance of Gammon. No doubt that person would try and ingratiate himself as much as possible with Titmouse! Then Titmouse was remarkably good-looking. "I wonder what Tabby will think of him when she sees him!" How anxious Tittlebat must be to see her-his daughter! How could Tag-rag make Tittlebat's stay at his premises (for he could not bring himself to believe that on the morrow he could not set all right, and disavow the impudent conduct of Lutestring) agreeable and delightful? He would discharge the first of his young men that did not show Titmouse proper respect. What low lodgings poor Tittlebat lived in! Why could he not take up his quarters at Satin Lodge? They always had a nice spare bedroom. Ah! that would be a stroke! How Tabby could endear herself to him! What a number of things Mrs Tag-rag could do to make him comfortable!

About seven o'clock Tag-rag quitted his premises in Oxford Street, for his country house; and, occupied with these and similar delightful and anxious thoughts and speculations, hur ried along Oxford Street on his way to the Clapham stage, without think ing of his umbrella, though it rained fast. When he had taken his place on the coach-box, beside old Crack, (as he had done almost every night for years,) he was so unusually silent that Crack naturally thought his best passenger was going to become bankrupt, or compound with his creditors, or something of that sort. Mr Tag-rag could hardly keep his temper at the slow pace old Crack was driving at-just when Tag-rag could have wished to gallop the whole way. Never had he descended with so much briskness, as when the coach at length drew up before the little green gate, which opened on the nice little gravel walk, which led up to the little green wooden porch, which sheltered the slim door which admitted you into Satin Lodge. As Tag rag stood for a moment wiping his wet shoes upon the mat, he could not help observing, for the first time, by the inward light of ten thousand a-year, how uncommon small the passage was-and thinking that it would never do, when he should be the father-in-law of a man worth ten thousand a-year-he could easily let that house, and take a large one. As he hung his hat upon the peg, the mischievous insolence of Lutestring occurred to him; and he deposited such a prodigious execration upon that gentleman's name, as must have sunk a far more buoyant sinner many fathoms deeper than usual into a certain hot and deep place that shall be nameless.

Mrs and Miss Tag-rag were sitting in the front parlour, intending to take tea as soon as Mr Tag-rag should have arrived. It was not a large room, but furnished prettily, according to the taste of the owners. There was only one window, and it had a flaunting white summer curtain. The walls were ornamented with three pictures, in heavily gilt frames, being portraits of Mr, Mrs, and Miss Tag-rag; and I do not wish to say more of these pictures, than that in each of them the dress was done with singular exactness and fidelity-the faces seeming

to have been painted in, in order to complete the thing. The skinny, little Miss Tag-rag sat at the worn-out, jingling pianoforte, playing-oh, horrid and doleful sound! - The Battle of Prague. Mrs Tag-rag, a fat, showily-dressed woman of about fifty, her cap having a prodigious number of artificial flowers in it, sat reading a profitable volume entitled " Groans from the Bottomless Pit to Awaken Sleeping Sinners," by the REV. DISMAL HORROR-a very rousing young preacher lately come into that neigh. bourhood, and who had almost frightened into fits half the women and children, and one or two old gentlemen of his congregation, giving out, amongst several similarly cheering intimations, that they must necessarily be damned unless they immediately set about making themselves as miserable as possible in this world. The Sunday before, he had pointed out, with awful force and distinctness, that cards and novels were the devil's traps to catch souls; and balls and theatres short and easy cuts to --.

He had proved to his trembling female hearers, in effect, that there was only one way to Heaventhrough his chapel; that the only safe mode of spending their time on earth was reading religious books, going to prayer-meetings, making all sorts of trash for a fancy sale, to defray the expenses of putting an organ in his chapel; and wheedling their husbands into subscriptions to the Lord knows how many missionary societies, and so forth. But when, a Sunday or two before, he preached a funeral sermon, to " improve the death," as he said, of a Miss Snooks, (who had kept a circulating library in the neighbourhood ;) and who, having been to the theatre on the Thursday night, was taken ill of a bowel attack on the Friday, and was a "lifeless corpse when the next Sabbath dawned," you might have heard a beetle sneeze within any of the walls, all over the crowded chapel. Two-thirds of the women present, struck with the awful judgment upon the deceased Miss Snooks, made solemn never again to enter the accursed walls of a theatre; many determined no longer to subscribe to the circulating library, ruining their precious souls with light and amusing reading; and almost all resolved forthwith to become active members of a sort of

VOWS

religious tract society, which Mr Horror had just established in the neighbourhood, for the purpose of giving the sick and starving poor spiritual food, in the shape of tracts, which might wean their affections away from this vain world, and fix them on better things, rejoicing, in the mean while, in the bitter pangs of destitution. All this sort of thing Mr Horror possibly imagined to be advancing the cause of real religion!In short, he had created a sort of spiritual fever about the place, which was then just at its height in worthy Mrs Tag-rag.

"Well, Dolly, how are you tonight?" enquired Tag-rag, with unusual briskness, on entering the room. "Tolerable, thank you, Tag," replied Mrs Tag-rag, mournfully, with a sigh, closing the cheerful volume she had been perusing-it having been recommended the preceding Sunday from the pulpit by its pious and gifted author, Mr Horror, to be read and prayed over every day by every member of his congregation.

"And how are you, Tabby?" said Tag-rag, addressing his daughter. "Come and kiss me, you little slut come!"

"No, I sha'n't, pa! Do let me go on with my practising"-and twang! twang! went those infernal keys,

"Dy'e hear, Tab? Come and kiss me, you little minx" —

"Really, pa, how provoking-just as I am in the middle of the Cries of the Wounded! I sha'n't! - that's flat."

The doating parent could not, however, be denied; so he stepped to the piano, put his arm round his dutiful daughter's neck, kissed her fondly, and then stood for a moment behind her, admiring her brilliant execution of The Trumpet of Victory. Having changed his coat, and put on an old pair of shoes, Tag-rag was comfortable for the evening.

"Tabby plays wonderful well, Dolly, don't she?" said Tag-rag, as the tea things were being brought in, by way of beginning a conversation, while he drew his chair nearer to his wife.

"Ah! I'd a deal rather see her reading something serious-for life is short, Tag, and eternity's long." "Botheration! _ Stuff! - Tut!" "You may find it out one day, my dear, when its too late"

"I'll tell you what, Dolly," said

Tag-rag, angrily, "you're coming a great deal too much of that sort of thing - my house is getting like a Methodist meeting-house. I can't bear it, I can't! What the deuce is come to you all in these parts, lately?"

"Ah, Tag-rag," replied his wife, with a sigh, "I can only pray for you-I can do no more".

"Oh!" exclaimed Tag-rag, with an air of desperate disgust, thrusting his hands into his pockets, and stretching his legs to their utmost extent under the table. "I'll tell you what, Mrs T.," he added, after a while, "too much of one thing is good for nothing; you may choke a dog with pudding; -I sha'n't renew my sittings at Mr Horror's."

"Now, pa, do! That's a love of a pa!" interposed Miss Tag-rag, twirling round on her music-stool. "All Clapham's running after him-he's quite the rage! There's the Dugginses, the Pips, the Jones, the Maggots-and, really, Mr Horror does preach such dreadful things, it's quite delightful to look round and see all the people with their eyes and mouths wide open-and our's is such a good pew for seeing-and Mr Horror is such a bee-yeautiful preacher, isn't he, ma?"

" Yes, love, he is but, I wish I could see you profit by him, and preparing for death".

"Why, ma, how can you go on in that ridiculous way? You know I'm not twenty yet!"

"Well, well! Poor Tabby!" here Mrs Tag-rag's voice faltered-" a day will come, when"

"Play me the Devil among the Tailors, or Copenhagen Waltz, or something of that sort, Tabby, or I shall be sick!- I can't bear it!"

"Well! Oh, my! - I never!- Mr Tag-rag!" exclaimed his astoundedwife. "Play away, Tab, or I'll go and sit in the kitchen! They're cheerful there! The next time I come across Mr Horror, if I don't give him a bit of my mind"-here he paused, and slapped his hand with much energy upon the table. Mrs Tag-rag wiped her eyes, sighed, and resumed her book. Miss Tag-rag began to make tea, her papa gradually forgetting his rage, as he fixed his dull grey eyes fondly on the pert skinny countenance of his daughter.

"By the way, Tag," exclaimed Mrs Tag-rag, suddenly, but in the

« AnteriorContinuar »