61

THEODORE EDWARD HOOK.

THE brilliant meteor which, during its | lastic power; and on the first night of brief but dazzling existence, outshines his entrance into Harrow School—whiall the other stars of heaven, and then fades into impenetrable obscurity, is speedily forgotten when its transient radiance has passed away. So is it with the witty conversationalist—the man of clever sayings-the unsalaried jester, whose pleasant sallies have so often "set the table in a roar." He is remembered while amusement is born with his smiles, while his lightest words are echoed in peals of laughter, and while even the mere rolling of his eye is a provocative of merriment; but when sickness or age have lain their fingers upon his brow, or the tomb has closed upon him, he rarely occupies even the humblest place in the memory of his former admirers. Hook formed no exception to this rule. He was the "comet of a season," praised, flattered, worshipped; but when he vanished, the momentary inconvenience occasioned by his loss was remedied by less gifted but equally amusing successors. In the mad whirlpool of fashion and pleasure he had been hurrying round year by year, drawing closer to the fatal vortex, and when at last he was engulfed beneath the tide, the waters dashed on as rapidly and as laughingly as before.

ther he was soon after sent he gave another illustration of his disposition, by throwing a large piece of turf at the window of a bed-room, in which a lady was retiring to rest. There had been, of course, not the slightest provocation; and it would appear that no malicious spirit influenced the deed. It was merely done, at the suggestion of Lord Byron, then a mischievous inmate of the School. Fortunately, a broken pane of glass was the only damage occasioned by the act. Theodore Hook did not prove an attentive scholar, and obtained no distinction by his studies. He confesses that he had no application; that tasks which could be done quickly he could do well: but that to devote himself assiduously to any study, especially that of languages, he was quite unable. What progress he might ultimately have made, what effect upon his nature the stimulus of rivalry might have exerted, it would be idle now to discuss. Unfortunately the death of his mother, to whom he was deeply attached, prematurely terminated his school life. He went home, his father found relief from sorrow in the lively conversation of his young son, and would not hear of his return to Harrow. Theodore had no THEODORE EDWARD HOOK was born desire to revisit that seat of learning. in London on the 22nd September, He preferred to remain with his father. 1788. His father was for many years Town talk was better than school musical director of Vauxhall Gardens, teaching. The last new song at Vauxand composed the music of upwards of hall was worth the whole Latin Dic2000 songs for operettas, vaudevilles, tionary, and we suspect he went little and other light dramatic pieces of that farther into that language than the day. An elder brother of Theodore was exempla minora. Accordingly Theodore destined for the church, took holy or- remained at home; but he was not alders, and became Dean of Worcester, together idle. Secretly, and no doubt but the embryo wit manifested decided with some little fear and trembling, he symptoms of unfitness to follow in the wrote two or three songs, composed the same course. At a very early age he music for them, and one day, to the displayed a talent for practical joking, astonishment and delight of his father, and scholastic rule, as may be supposed, produced these precocious evidences of was one of the first subjects against talent. That day decided Theodore which it was directed. From an aca- Hook's fate. There could be no more demy in Soho Square, at which he had schooling after such a display of genius, been placed, he absented himself with- and, as author and composer, father and out permission for a fortnight. An ac- son now entered into partnership. But cident revealed this truant conduct of the young musical bard soon grew amthe boy, and parental hands soon pu-bitious; mere song-writing and songnished it. But to eradicate that, which singing-in both of which arts he had in Hook's case appears to have been become proficient-did not satisfy those inherent, was beyond parental or scho-yearnings for applause with which the

tioneering contest for Westminster, the whole of the company were amazed by the power which look displayed. She ridan was gratified beyond measure with the young author, congratulated him upon the possession of such peculiar and brilliant talent, and afterwards mentioned his name in terms of high eulogy to many aristocratic friends. Thenceforth Hook became a "lion." He was invited to noble houses to display his surprising genius-as profes

extravagant praises of indulgent friends had filled his breast. His pen took a higher flight, and in 1805 his first dramatic effort, The Soldier's Return," (the music of which was composed by his father,) was produced at Drury Lane Theatre. This piece, flimsy enough in itself, and no doubt borrowed without acknowledgment from some French author-as almost every piece produced at the present day is-met with a highly favourable reception, and Theodore Hook, at the age of sixteen, found him-sors of parlour legerdemain are intro self a successful dramatist. To all those duced into festive parties at Christmas mysterious fascinations generally sup- time-and delighted his high-born paposed to exist "behind the scenes,' trons with an exhibition of wit and Hook was now admitted. The com- cleverness, which quite enchanted them panion of Liston, Terry, Mathews, and by its novelty. Even royalty became other popular actors, he kept the green anxious to hear the performances of room and the entire company of the Mr. Hook, and one evening, at a sup theatre in a constant state of merriment per in Manchester Square, the Prince by his sprightly manners, his witty of Wales attended for the express pursayings, and his practical jokes. While pose of gratifying his curiosity, gracepassing through this dangerous exist- fully acknowledged the pleasure which ence he did not forget to exercise those the improvisatore had afforded him, and talents which had thus early received left Hook in a perfect flutter of delight. the stamp of public recognition and In fact, it was not surprising, at such approval. In rapid succession he con- an early age, with a mind comparatively tributed several farces, vaudevilles and unstrengthened by education, and filled melodramas, to the Haymarket and with the most extravagant ideas of its Lyceum theatres. Of these pieces own powers, that he should become inscarcely one is now to be met with on toxicated with the incense of flattery the stage. 66 Tekeli," a violent melo- and applause which had risen around drama, of the transpontine school, is him. He soon felt a distaste for his occasionally performed at some of the dramatic avocations, and looked upon minor theatres of the metropolis, and the stage with the most intense conKilling no Murder," Hook's best tempt. The glimpses he had seen of farce, now and then undergoes repro- fashionable life were sufficiently dazduction: but despite its real wit, the zling to render him discontented with coarse and meagre character of the a less glittering existence. He began plot renders the piece disagreeable to a to fancy himself fitted only for that modern audience. But Hook soon be-sphere in which he had gained so much gan to be known in another capacity distinction. He entered into all the besides that of a successful dramatic gaieties and amusements of the town, writer. As an extempore versifier and soon rendered himself famous by and composer, he had by turns asto- the originality and impudence of his nished and delighted a large circle of exploits. He formed a "Museum of friends. He would sit down to the Practical Jokes," in which knockers, piano and pour forth verse after verse sign-boards, barbers' poles, gigantic of unpremeditated song,-some incident Highlanders, &c.-the glorious trophies that had occurred during the evening, of many a midnight deed-were dissome peculiarity in the name or appear-played for the gaze of admiring friends. ance of the guests, interwoven with Hook, therefore, had the miserable disallusions to passing topics and well tinction of founding, that cruel, thoughtgarnished with puns-generally form-less, and unmanly school of practical ing the material of these efforts of im-jokers, the greatest disciples of which provisation, which, although brilliant, were the Marquis of Waterford, and had in them no real merit. His fame certain medical students.. Foreign naspread rapidly. At a dinner given by tions looked with surprise at an Engthe actors of Drury Lane, to congratu- lish lord going about attended by a late Sheridan on the success of his elec-prize-fighter, who, at a sign by his lord

There was such an outburst of indignation at this occurrence, that Hook found it prudent to withdraw into the country for a few weeks until the storm of public anger had blown over.

He was now twenty-one years of age. He had determined to write no more for the stage, but he was too restless to allow his pen to remain inactive. He wrote a novel, "The Man of Sorrow," and published it under the pseudonym of Alfred Allendale, expecting no doubt a repetition of that applause which his dramatic pieces had gained for him. He was disappointed; the work, an ornate specimen of the Minerva Press School of fiction, slumbered placidly upon the shelves of the publisher, and but for resuscitation in another form some years afterwards, would have sunk into oblivion. With his expanded prospects new ideas arose. The education begun at Harrow must be finished at Oxford, and to Oxford Hook accordingly went. The frame of mind in which he entered upon his studies is best illustrated by the reply which he made upon being presented for matriculation. When asked by the ViceChancellor if he was prepared to subscribe to the thirty-nine articles, "Oh, yes," said the accommodating and unvenerating Theodore, "forty if you please."

ship, seized an unconscious policeman wide, a laughing crowd gathered around and threw him over his head, the the spot, and it was late into the evenjoke (?) consisting probably in the ing before the commotion subsided. broken bones or perhaps total incapacitation of an inoffensive and useful man. During these attacks, thieves and burglars were left unwatched, and no doubt thanked the friendly offices of his lordship. Another of these playful sallies resulted in the death of a cabman, who had a whole bottle of strong rum given him to drink at a draught, for the purpose of earning a sovereign given by this noble (?) man. After his lordship's marriage, his followers dwindled down to students, shopmen, and "gents," of which Mr. Albert Smith is the historian, and one feat of theirs, which Mr. Smith related in an early number of " Punch," doubtlessly for the purpose of creating a laugh, was to obtain a red lamp of a doctor, whose house was near a railway, and by its aid to stop the advance of the mail train. Proh Pudor! Well might the French term us farouches, and represent on their stage, each lord accompanied by his boxeur, and well may future times, possibly reverting to the manners and customs of the nineteenth century, presume us to be but half civilized. Hook gave rise to the Tom and Jerry" school, or perhaps, more correctly speaking, gave a strong impulse to it, which lapsed into the class of young men just mentioned, but which is now, by the stringent measures of the magistrates and the ridicule of the satirists, nearly if not quite extinct. But the most daring of his jokes (?) was the celebrated Berners Street hoax, and the amount of time and positive labour bestowed upon its arrangement were indeed worthy of a better cause. Six weeks were consumed in preparations. Upwards of 4,000 letters were written, and on a certain day, tradesmen of every description, with every variety of their wares-visitors of every rank, from the Lord Mayor to the Duke of York, from ladies of His singing and joke-making were title to servants in search of situations, not forgotten, but on the contrary, were presented themselves at the house of destined to receive tangible recompense. an unfortunate lady in Berners Street, Inquiries had been made concerning who had in some manner offended Mr. Hook, his position, his means, his Hook and two friends. The scene prospects. It was found that he was throughout the day was most exciting. without any fixed income, and no doubt, The street was completely blockaded the fact was regarded as a sort of nawith carts, waggons, and carriages, the tional disgrace. Royal intimation was traffic in the neighbourhood was sus-given that something must be done for pended, and as the news spread far and him; and something was done for him

66

It needed all the eloquence of his brother to prevent the wit's expulsion from the university after such a proof of orthodoxy. But the dull routine of college life, though enlivened by amusements permitted or forbidden, was not likely to prove agreeable to one who had tasted so largely the pleasures of the metropolis. Theodore was soon tired with this second version of schoolboy days, and after remaining at Oxford during two terms, only was again in London.

immediately. He was appointed Comp- announcements been made when a setroller of the Exchequer at the Mauri-rious charge of misappropriation of the tius, with a salary of £2000 per annum, public money, to the extent of 37,150 and setting sail from England, entered dollars, was brought against Hook, by upon his duties in 1813. Why Theodore one of his subordinates who a few days Hook was selected to occupy a position afterwards committed suicide. Although for which he was in no degree qualified it was proved that the man was insane, by habits or education, appears rather the accusation was of too grave a nature surprising. His knowledge of accounts to be entirely passed over. Another must have been small. His familiarity scrutiny of the books was commenced. with the intricacies of colonial finance Accounts which only a few weeks becould not have been extensive. Even fore had been examined and passed, his intimacy with practical arithme- were now found to be teeming with tic might have been open to dispute. But no thoughts of his own unfitness disturbed his mind. He evidently went out under the impression that his labours would consist in seeing somebody else perform his duties; in killing time as he best might, in receiving his salary by quarterly payments. Of course, he led an easy untroubled life. The stern realities of office were but as shadows which scarcely for a moment flitted across his path, and dimmed the light which streamed upon it. "We breakfast," said he in a letter to Mathews, "we breakfast at eight. Always up by gun-fire. Five o'clock bathe and ride before breakfast. After breakfast lounge about. At one have a regular meal yclept a tiffen, hot meat, vegetables, &c., and at this we generally sit through the heat of the day, drinking our wine, and munching our fruit; at five, or halfpast, the carriages come to the door, and we go either in them, or in palanquins to dress; which operation performed, we drive out to the race ground and the Champs de Mars, the Hyde Park Lane, till half-past six; come into town, and at seven dine, where we remain until ten, and then join the French parties, as there is regularly a ball somewhere or other every night. These things blended with business make out the day and evening."

The only business which Hook is recorded to have performed, consisted of occasionally signing his name in the account books, playing off most unofficial jokes upon visitors, and receiving his salary at the intervals before alluded to.

But this butterfly life was destined to meet with a harsh interruption. In 1817, a new governor was appointed to the island, and some formal investigations into the state of the Exchequer were made. The accounts were pronounced correct, the examination satisfactory. Scarcely, however, had these

errors. A deficit of 62,717 dollars was discovered. Hook was arrested at midnight; placed in confinement; the whole of his property sold by the Crown, and he himself, shortly afterwards, sent prisoner to England The voyage was a long and trying one. Nine months at sea, and during a portion of that time, with bad provisions doled out in small quantities, Hook, despite the buoyancy of spirit which he continually exhibited, must have spent many weary hours reflecting upon his carelessness. That he was guiltless of everything except extreme inattention, has been placed beyond all doubt; indeed on his arrival in England, he was at once acquitted of any criminal act, and set at liberty. But the mystery of the deficit had yet to be explained, and Hook, summoned before the Colonial Audit Board, underwent many disagreeable and perplexing examinations. It was to but little purpose. He could explain nothing. His signature, the supposed guarantee for correctness, was appended to accounts of the most confused and irregular description. Some mistakes were evident almost at a glance; others were discovered only after a long and wearisome examination, but mistakes there were in abundance. Amounts entered on the debtor side of the page instead of the creditor-bills confused with notesdollars with rupees, and altogether such an incoherent jumble of figures that the experienced accountants of the Audit Board became as thoroughly confused as even Hook himself.

The ex-Comptroller of the Mauritius Exchequer found himself compelled to begin the world anew. He had arrived in England penniless, and he now commenced working hard for existence, by contributing to magazines and other periodicals. It was at this time, and when residing in a small house in the outskirts of London, that he formed an